Will somebody please please please kick me up the a***

[Danny1974]

Its been quite a while now but i still cant get my ex-g/f out of my head!!

I know she's not interested

I know she has a new boyfriend who she adores

I know i dont even enter her thoughts anymore

And i know she is completely happy with her life..

so why o' why do i persist on thinking about her 24/7 and still have it in my head that her life will go wrong and she will come running back to me??

The worst thing though is that i think about them together, having sex, good times whatever and it tears me apart!!

 

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD KICKING SO I CAN GET MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK..

 

Please

[Beec]

My leg is not so long that I can do that, but I think you have a simple case of wanting what you cannot have. Instead of a sole in your rectum, maybe you should consider other ways to get over her.

 

My first suggestion would be to act like you are over her. GO out, get soem dates, try to have fun, smile, etc., etc. What you woudl do if you were really over her. Sometimes you find acting like you want to be leads you to be as you acted.

 

Easy, no, but what have you got to lose?

[murrayfaces]

I completely agree with Beec. Act like you're over her, and maybe eventually(hopefully soon), you will be over her. Also, start telling yourself you're over her.

 

I went through this phase last week, where I actually cried for the first time in months. And for the next 3 days, I was kind of a wreck. I almost broke down in Wal Mart(probably just from the virtue of being in Wal Mart my brother says). But, because it was the place "we" used to shop. Silly, I know, a F'ing grocery store to get me all sappy and reminescent.

 

I spent way too much time where HE was the only thing on my mind, and it was all but consuming me. I must hae gotten off to it, because I was letting it happen. But now, I've got all of this new drama in my life to consume my mind. No, my advice is not to add a whole bunch of drama into your life, just a little.

 

The only other thing I've heard, is one poster on here said once that he keeps a rubber band on his wrist, and everytime he thinks about his ex, he snaps the band. I never tried it, but I guarantee you at times I would have had one seriously bloody wrist.

 

You'll get through this buddy. STOP thinking about her, and think of yourself. Have you made any positive improvements to yourself, or your life? I can honestly say that is one of the most important things I have done for myself. I've lost almost 50 pounds, I take better care of myself, and my appearance/clothing, etc. Once I started to feel so awesome about myself, I realized how much better I was, and that the next great person was waiting around that corner, and I was platinum diamonds. "Platinum diamonds" is a phrase my brother and I use to describe how we feel post-ex's. But, you can't be platinum diamonds if you are still thinking of her. And start that acting like you're over her, and you will be soon.

[hurtbylove]

No one can pick yourself up but you.

 

I wish I could take my own advice. It's something a lot (me also) go through and it sucks.

 

I had the same thoughts when I shopped at the grocery store where we used to get food and cook together at my apt. I miss her a lot.

[murrayfaces]

What is it about grocery stores that make us depressed.

 

Think that's bad....I went to cook something today, and forget how to use my stove, that's how long it's been since I've cooked anything. Because we always cooked together, and had these huge meals.

 

It's just strange to think of the little things that upset us, or remind us of them.

 

Danny, are you feeling any better. I find that I'm better during certain times of certain days. Mornings are often really bad. Hope you're feeling better.

[Greenlee]

Okay all of you!..........Listen to an old Pro!

 

We lived together for 3 1/2 years. We cooked together, shopped together and walked to our neighborhood bars and hung out together! Everyone knew us as "us!"

 

It literally killed me but I had to go to "our grocery store" over and over again. Psychologists say the best way to kill an old memory is to create new ones.

 

It wasn't easy by any means!! It took many many months and quite a few trips to the grocery store! You know what? Before long, you get ticked off and really angry and actually defiant in wanting to go there

(survival mode)!

 

believe me I was in baaaad shape last year! I have no sisters and my parents are deceased. I relied on my good friends and my brother & sister-in-law! I am quite proud of myself now. Guess what guys? After I went through a s**t load of torment/trauma/sadness/depression/anger.. ... Guess who called me? My ex bf! ( There's no going back but it still hurts).

The number one rule of human nature with these types is that "once you (the dumpee) finally turns the corner and moves on through your own self-preservation & strength, the ex bf/gf (dumper) comes back! And guess what? The dumpee usually ends up dumping the dumper because they've moved on!! CHIN UP!!

[hurtbylove]

I think it's the places that are familiar hurt the most.

 

I spent all of my time with her in my apartment and she slept over and pretty much was living at my place.

 

When she left it hurt so bad to sleep in the same bed, everything the same... except she was no longer in my life.

 

It's the familiarity that we all miss and wish we could have back ( for a while at least). It is true that new memories are made, but we can't ever forget the old ones.

[Danny1974]

Well guys thanks for the advice..

Some are actually quite funny too!!

I do feel lots better at the moment but you know it only takes little thing to balls it all up again, but thats life..

 

I'll keep you posted on how it turns out (excuse the punt)

[TrueHeart]

Best way to do it, is simply just try to rediscover yourself... They're all right.. go out on dates, try to hang with friends, organize perhaps a guys-night out with poker or bowling or something..

 

People are habitual creatures, and really don't adapt to change very easily. You've been used to the same person for a long time, so you're used to that as part of your routine. Now that its gone, it seems impossible to get on with what you could call "normal"-- but its possible. Treat yourself! At first it seems harder to do than say, but it DOES get easier. Just have fun! Grab the guys! Go fishing!

[donefor79]

I have been chasing my x like a dog chasing their tail and getting no where fast, besides dizzy and all disorientated. I just realize that reading these posts. I mean in my situation my x lives a few hundred miles away, i hated it during the relationship and i sure am not going to like it now. I dealt with it for 2 yrs., and tried to remain as sane as possible. We had a great relationship, but when she decided to stay were she was at after dropping out grad schoool i should have said thanks and hung up. Instead we talked yellled fought didnt talk than talked...did it alll. I think after the past few months i woke up and gave up i gave it all into our relationship im sure i made mistakes i did try though. She chose a lifestyle (living in the boston area) instead of New York City Area over me...she lost in both ways.....NYC is the awesome., and she lost a someone she still loves now and through away a relationship cause her first few months were fun up there.....i always said no matter where u live u can have fun its who u surround urself with....i wish her the best if she ever reads this, and knows that i still care about her, but u cant keep dragging someone along and telling them u will be comeing home and than dont. Enjoy, i assume u found someoine butt than again u call all the time and talk...poor guy i guess doesnt compare......anyway guys thats my story learn and try to step back and ask the hard questions. Also listen to urself and people who will be honest with u even if it hurts...i know i needed a wake up call, and my friends gave me one.......thanks fellas!

[Beec]

Anyone who picks Boston over NYC makes a huge mistake, in my humble opinion written from NYC itself.

 

I cannot help but feel sympathy for her in not realizing that mistake, as well as what else it may have cost her.

 

 

P.S. 1918.

[donefor79]

Oh I was trying not to mention that the dead sox resemble her, since she became a fan when she moved there 6 months ago. Both have no class, are second best, and are not good in the clutch......Go Yanks!!