What if you regret breaking up with the person...

[Tears May Fall]

To keep the story short, me and this girl went out for a few months, i work wit her...things went real good, but then i realized there was problems with her from her past, still hurting and having feelings from a 4 year relationship. We went through ups and downs, many conversations about the issue, until ultimately i just felt she wasnt ready for the type of relationship we both seeked, so i wrote her a long letter explaining how i felt, and i wanted to talk things out with her before giving the letter, saying that maybe we needed some time apart for bit, and then simply state that im giving you this letter just in case i mightve left out anything i wanted to say, but dont take it too crazily. Instead i had a real bad day, she got me mad, and i just handed the letter to her and didnt even say anything and then boom, two days later when i saw her at work again, hell broke loose.

Ive never seen her more pissed, she was furious about the letter, and we talked that night, and basically she felt really low and she said to me "is that all i deserved, that you gimme a letter and thats it." She said "i thought u'd atleast gimme that much respect to say it to my face, but i guess i didnt amount that much to you and was just any other girl." She's been pissed about that, and said that the anger subsided but it was more so in a "moving on" sense, that she doesnt want a relationship anymore and doesnt look at me like that anymore, and said she likes it better as just friends. She keeps saying she needs time and doesnt want a relationship rite now, but i feel like a real idiot breaking it off like that in a letter and i told her how i felt horrible about it and that i was sorry and that if in the future she ever considers our relationship again, not to hold the letter against me and to try and gimme a chance to show how sorry i am, and she accepted my apology.

Now we hardly ever talk and mostly just see each other at work. We hang out occasionally and she loves my company and we always have a good time. However whenever i call her or see her at work, it seems like she doesnt give a sh*t about me anymore and that im just anyone else, if even that much. Do you guys think shes really over me, or is she just really hurt by the way i broke it off and she might come back after she does feel she is ready for a relationship again? How should i act in the meantime? Should i be her friend or leave her alone? im really stumped on this and regret writing that letter everyday, and i hope i can find a way back to her heart again

[k33]

The letter was a bad move... Only some serious groveling will help. I mean like flowers, (not to work at home), offers of fancy dinners cooked by you etc... serious groveling. No one wants to get a break up letter... And if she was hurt by the last guy, you are in a real uphill battle here. You should really make sure you want her back, because if you get her back and then aren't a total angel for a LOOOOONG time, there could be problems!

 

Good luck to you.

[Tears May Fall]

well the only reason stopping me from doing all the things i would to try to get her back is cuz she keeps saying she needs time and doesnt want a relationship...now i feel that shes only saying that towards ME cuz she doesnt wanna be with me nomore. I understand i made a real bad move and i regret it everyday, and im an idiot for doing so, but i also hear not to beg and plead to her as that will only push her away more. I could send flowers to her house, thats not a bad idea, but one lil problem, she doesnt have a doorbell cuz the entrance to her house in the back of a building, off the road. I dunno if i should be trying to go out of my way to get her see that i realize my mistake or just keep it cool and let her figure it out with time if she really still wants a relationship wit me. please help me. and BTW, dont worry bout being an "angel" for a long time, das not hard for me to do, and she knows that already.

[k33]

Well when you are the one that is wrong, I do think it is in your best interest to grovel. I think the dumpee shouldn't grovel... the dumper on the other hand... grovel away. I'd give her a week or so. She is really mad at you right now... so any of your overtures will seem insincere in her eyes right now.

 

At least that's how'd I'd feel.

[Tears May Fall]

its actually been a lil over a month since i broke it off wit her, so i dunno if the anger and all that is still there...it almost seems like shes already made up her mind, is it too late to show her anything?

[Tears May Fall]

just outta curiosity also, how old are you K33?

[donefor79]

Just realize u are going to have probably a lot of regrets u make in ur lifetime, the key to becoming successful with anything from work to girls, is realize that u just have to learn to live with them sometimes, and that if u focus on them u bring urself down all together. In this situation, u made a mistake, u regret it all u can do is ask her for her forgiveness. Its in her hands, and if it doesnt work, realize that is not the fist misteke u made in ur life and wont be ur last. U do have to respect her though, especially if u made the mistake, but sounds like she is still interested if u see each other. I would just be slow with getting back together... sometimes guilt can make u get back w. someone u dont want to be with....im not saying that is ur case just remember dont dwell on any regrets u have in life, u will never be the strongest person u can be.....

[k33]

Actually I am 33... hence the k33... Why do I sound really immature? Cool.