How does one go about feeling truely Sexy

[im_the_undead]

or beautiful?

 

Self acceptance is HUGE, but what if everything gets in the way of that?

I notice pretty girls always down themselves,

and not so attractive people boast about their beauty & sexuality.. ect

I don't even know what to say, other than "wish I had that confidence!"

& "I wonder what these people say to themselves every morning in the mirror, I need to start saying it myself."

I also noticed that... usually, the cockiest, most aggressive people I have seen/known/met, have the most apparent confidence. I wonder how legit it is.

Idk, self acceptance and feeling sexy will always be a mystery to me.

 

The end, lol

[Jd1983]

I know what you mean about not having much self confidence.

 

I feel the same way sometimes.

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Sparkly Eyes]

I'm not sure how people have such confidence. My guess is that they believe it when they are told they are sexy and don't second guess people all the time.

[The_Seeker]

After my relationship I learned in order to be beautiful, you do not need anyone's validation except for one person, yourself.

[im_the_undead]

After my relationship I learned in order to be beautiful, you do not need anyone's validation except for one person, yourself.

 

ofcouse, your self image is the most valuable..

it's the one that matters the most.

However, sometimes... people can tell you how lovely you are countless times,

but if you don't see it yourself, it will never matter.

[tiredofvampires]

I don't have much advice here, since I struggle with the same kind of issues. People often tell me that I "have much to offer" but it rings hollow at times because I don't feel like the kind of sex vixen other women seem to exude (this is in spite of the fact that I've also been pursued and complimented), and I feel like I'd easily, without a blink, in a half of a half of a New York second, trade in any and all of my supposed "offerable" qualities to just be feeling like I was Venus incarnate.

 

Then there are days when I pass someone who looks beautiful and sexy to me and they yell something really mean to someone else...or act cocky, aggressive, and showily "confident" and I think, I'd rather be me, whatever that is, and however it is I'm perceived, than cocky, aggressive, boastfully self-indulgent, etc. So sometimes I'm just glad not to be that brand of "confident." Whatever seems enviable about it...it really doesn't come with a personality type that I'd want for myself.

 

So that is a form of confidence in itself, I guess.

 

I think quiet confidence is far more potent in the end.

 

Maybe sexy means not giving a damn. That is, not giving a damn about having to prove you're sexy to anyone.

[The_Seeker]

That is a very sexy quote right there. ;]

 

That is what I mean. You do not need anyone's validation. If you perceive yourself sexy, then you will feel sexy.

 

It's tough at first, but it gets easier.

[Hurting85]

I find I feel better about my body when I appreciate it. Yeah, I may not have the thinnest legs in the world, and they may be sort of muscular, but I stand on them and walk around and they get me where I want to go. I go through all the parts I don't like and realize how useful/helpful they are so I can appreciate them. And then you learn to love your body.

I guess that's kind of lame, but it works for me.

[generaldiscord]

I am not beautiful, I am not sexy, but I've learned to find confidence from a strange place.

 

Many years ago, my main insecurity was fat and my thighs. I was 5'5, 135 pounds, and I felt like an elephant. I would look in the mirror, measure my thighs with my hands, and think, "I'll lose 20 pounds and then I'll be able to wear short skirts and bathing suits"

 

Than I nearly lost one of my legs.

 

Let me tell you, in the hospital, with the drugs, with the pain, nothing was more important to me than keeping that leg. I didn't need it to look good, I didn't need it to be beautiful, I just wanted it to work.

 

In the following months, my mobility was compromised, and I gained alot of weight. Let me tell you, that weight meant NOTHING to me. I was in tears of joy as my leg healed more and more.

 

On the path to recovery, I learned a couple things about self image. The first is, it's all relative. Your looks are great according to one person, awful according to someone else. The second and more important one was, worrying about your image is a WASTE OF TIME. It is unproductive, nobody else cares, and it only makes you miserable.

 

I took some steps to fixing the situation with myself. I wear short skirts even though my thighs are still fat. I don't wear makeup unless I'm going to be photographed or on stage. And every time the sick little 14 year old in me insults me to my reflection in the mirror, I say, "Hush, silly, she looks fine."

 

It takes some work, but it's SO worth it.

 

(B.T.W, I'm 5'4 now, and 150, and people tell me I look great all the time. The proper response is "Thank you."

[tiredofvampires]

A magnificent post, and one that I can relate to, having medical problems. Nothing like the perspective of loss of function to appreciate your body and all that it does for you (same for the poster above GD.) Just need to keep talking back to that sick little 14 year-old, whenever it rears its ugly head. A beautiful body is one that is taken care of, loved and appreciated by you, and serving you.

[generaldiscord]

A magnificent post, and one that I can relate to, having medical problems. Nothing like the perspective of loss of function to appreciate your body and all that it does for you (same for the poster above GD.) Just need to keep talking back to that sick little 14 year-old, whenever it rears its ugly head. A beautiful body is one that is taken care of, loved and appreciated by you, and serving you.

 

I just wish it didn't take such a horrible experience to learn to appreciate something so fundamental as my body.

 

Back then, I was so hampered by the idea that I was supposed to weigh less and have skinny thighs that I constantly reinforced that idea from the people around me. I look back and think that it would have been so much easier if I had used positive reinforcement instead of negative reinforcement.

 

Nowadays I'm much more objective. If someone doesn't like my thighs, that's alright with me. S/he can go ahead and date someone else. If someone thinks I'm flabby and could use more tone, I give them workout tips, because clearly they're projecting. If someone honks their car and yells "YOU HAVE A LARGE POSTERIOR" out the window (happened surprisingly often in my hometown) I say "Thank you". And then I go out and dance. I wake up in the morning and work. I eat what tastes good to me. I flirt with people. I wear odd clothes which look nice to me.

 

To all the people out there, don't wait till your body throws you a loop. Appreciate it now, because life is good.

[im_the_undead]

i like these posts very much.

they are.... legit.

 

i remember the month i spent in the hospital....

i cared about nothing at all, but being able to breathe again.. and feel good, and alive..

after the long stay all i worried about was learning how to walk again

 

[-.-" yeah apparently when you're in a bed for a long time with no strength or energy to move, you forget how to walk lol ahh]

 

anyway,

looking past the horrible illness/weakness....... i miss not caring about anything superficial

too bad it all came back as i got older and close to superficial people.

owell, time changes perspectives.

[Fudgie]

I've never really been that happy with my body. I'm very overweight. I don't want to say how much I weigh but it's bad. Heck, you can look at my profile picture. Yep, that's me now. I don't look overweight but I really am. It's all in my middle, thanks to PCOS. I hate the acne I have, when it pops up. This has nothing to do with self-perception, I am medically overweight, even obese.

 

I've struggled with my weight since I was 11, no kidding. I was very active as a child and up through my teens and didn't eat junk food so it was the PCOS. It is so hard to lose weight. Last summer, I exercised (without fail) for at least an hour everyday on the treadmill, logged my calories so I didn't eat more than 1200 a day...over the course of 3 months, I lost a little under 10 pounds. GAH!!

 

I don't want to go into much detail but I will soon be going under the knife to help fix my problem. Can't wait.

 

Anyway, for now, I like to be with my boyfriend to feel sexy. This is because he has a metabolic disorder as well. We are both big together. We both eat really healthy together too (he's veg, I'm low carb). He likes my body and I like his and so being with him makes me feel sexy because I know that we mutually like each other. We spend hours rubbing each other down with lotion and kissing each others' bodies. He likes to call it "body worship" because that's essentially what it is.

 

I feel so sexy because I know that in his eyes, I am beautiful inside and out and someday, I hope to think of myself that way too.

[Sweetkisses22]

I really don't know how to explain it. But i have also been told by many people that im really pretty but when i look in the mirror i see ugliness. I think it comes from the way men have treated us. Like we are just a pretty face but that's all. Or that were never good enough. No matter how pretty we look there's always one thing they tell us we need to change. That's how its been for ne at least. It sucks

[Sweetkisses22]

Good for you sweety there's not only one form of beauty.