The Reality Check: Would you date someone with an STD on their face?

[Mr. Franklin]

This may sound like a joke, but this is NO joke. It is possible to get an STD on your face by contracting an STD. I read about it in Sex Ed years ago and in an article on link removed, but I have never seen anyone(or notice) with an STD on their face.

 

Would you date someone with an STD on their face?

 

If you don't believe me then click here.

link removed

[hannah_k]

This article is kind of a joke. At least in regards to genital herpes causing cold sores.

 

Oral herpes and genital herpes are two very different viruses. I and my brother contracted oral herpes from my mom when we were kids from general contact, because she had frequent breakouts. But I don't have an STD. To suggest that is asinine and incredibly unfair. I get a cold sore every few years, treat it with abreva, and wash my hands frequently and avoid touching anyone for a few days.

[cengator]

Unless it can be knocked out by a quick round of penicillin, I would not date anyone with an STD anywhere on their body period. Maybe that is cold, but I just don't think it is worth it.

[Fudgie]

Yeah, I agree with hannah...leave out cold sores. No, I don't have them but I'd date someone who had them as long as they treated them and did their best NOT to give them to me. Totally different from the sort of herpes that you get from sexual contact.

 

(LEAVING OUT COLD SORES)...no I wouldn't date someone with an STD anywhere on their body...face, genitals, butt...I don't care...just no. I like to not to have to use condoms in a monogamous relationship and if they had STDs, I couldn't do that. It would add a lot of worry about getting them and such.

 

BTW, I have seen someone with "genital herpes" on the face. He was a homosexual man I was friends with at the time. He had oral sex without protection with some sleazeball who didn't tell him and he got herpes ALL OVER his face and hands...and elsewhere. Yuck yuck. And I felt SO bad for him too.

[Brittney2008]

Well in general no I wouldn't date someone with any type of STD. I know many people might disagree but I do not think that cold sores are an STD and wouldn't mind if my partner had them. I get a cold sore oh about once every 2-3 years. It's not a big deal.

[Philos]

Well in general no I wouldn't date someone with any type of STD. I know many people might disagree but I do not think that cold sores are an STD and wouldn't mind if my partner had them. I get a cold sore oh about once every 2-3 years. It's not a big deal.

 

I wouldn't date anyone with any type of STD. Period.

[Brittney2008]

I wouldn't date anyone with any type of STD. Period.

 

It's not an Std.

[Mr. Franklin]

Cold Sores is an reaction from herpes.

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[pinkelephant]

Lol most people have some sort of STD. Like I gave my bf one unknowingly. I've been with two guys only and both have been relatinships. I didn't know I had it... Obv but it was just cytomegalovirus.

[meteorstrike]

no way. no stds anywhere.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Good thing syphilis and the clap can be cured through antibiotics.

 

Herpes. Well, I honestly have never seen any evidence of the two strains of herpes being different although I've heard people without herpes claim that genital is more severe. Online, I have yet to find any scientific evidence or pics to support that claim.

[rosephase]

HSV1 and HSV2 are so similar that until a few years ago there wasn't a way to test for the difference. You typically get HSV1 orally. And typically get HSV2 on your genitals. But unless you have been tested with a blood test (which you have to ask for specifically) you DO NOT know which strain you have or even if you have a strain. I test positive for HSV1 and have never had an outbreak. People who get cold sores have herpes. They have an STD. Even if they didn't get it sexually it is still and STD. Because oral herpes is spread thru casual contact you can have it without every having sex. People try to make them sound very different because they don't want to live with the stigma of herpes. Understandably, because people overreact. But the truth is more people have herpes then do not. If you have kissed a few people chance are you have kissed someone with herpes. If you have had sex with more then 4 people chances are you have had sex with someone with herpes. And if you haven't been tested you do not know if you have it or not.

 

It's time to grow up. Herpes are a normal everyday part of life. The only thing that makes it a big deal is people saying "Oh my God you have an STD ON YOUR FACE!!!" or "genital herpes is so much worse and dirty and gross compared to oral herpes.

 

Yes it is an STD. Yes it is permanent. Yes a huge amount of the population has it. (I've read every where form 60% to 80%) But other then that, other then the idea that it is scary it really isn't a big deal. The hardest part is having people (how know almost nothing about it) say how gross it is. So yeah, if you don't want it (and you managed to escape childhood without it) just don't kiss anyone or have sex with anyone then, if your lucky, you'll probably be safe.

[lostnscared]

I think your grossly undermining why people wouldn't want to be with someone with Herpes. And YES you can kiss someone and have sex with someone that does not have the disease without being lucky. I personally think herpes is a HUGE deal(just like any other STD) and I have no issue admitting that I find the disease painful and sorry but I also find that from the pics that I've seen that it does look pretty gross. And this is not to offend anyone with the disease, but me just being point blank honest. The whole idea that we should accept people and be okay with contracting STD's or the notion that a lot of people have STDS is just gross to me and says a lot about our society. I don't care if the whole world had herpes--I don't find it acceptable nor would I date someone with the STD.

I'm in a relationship(a serious one) and neither one of us has the disease. I don't have sex with a lot of people or make out with a lot of people, so hey maybe that is why I don't have it. I don't think it's scary BTW, just not something I want.

[Brittney2008]

I don't have sex with a lot of people or make out with a lot of people, so hey maybe that is why I don't have it. I don't think it's scary BTW, just not something I want.

 

It's not a good assumption to make that people who have Hsv-1 got it from being loose(or even Hsv-2 for that matter). I had my first cold sore when I was young. Do I have Hsv-1? Yes. Was it sexually transmitted? No.

[lostnscared]

It's not a good assumption to make that people who have Hsv-1 got it from being loose(or even Hsv-2 for that matter). I had my first cold sore when I was young. Do I have Hsv-1? Yes. Was it sexually transmitted? No.

 

You obviously didn't read what rosephase stated or otherwise implied--which is that if your having sex with at least 4 or more people you are "lucky" if you don't have herpes.And that the only people who wouldn't get it are "lucky" or just aren't kissing or having sex with anyone.

That is why I responded with a sarcastic response that since "I'm not sleeping around maybe that is why I'm "lucky".

Anyway, of course anyone can get these diseases without having sex with multiple partners--that is EXACTLY my point. It isn't about "luck", as much as it is making sure that whoever you are sleeping with does not have an STD. And having an STD shouldn't be acceptable to me or anyone else that doesn't want one, just because "most" people have it.

[sweetooth]

The majority of people with HSV2 anyway are asymptomatic like myself. Never in my life would I have known as I have never had an outbreak. If people do, many people think it's something else like a pimple as it's so mild. Doctors also usually do not check for it unless you specifically ask to get it done; therefore, your lover who got a STD check before going out with you may not have got checked for HSV, just a thought.

[Brittney2008]

Anyway, of course anyone can get these diseases without having sex with multiple partners--that is EXACTLY my point. It isn't about "luck", as much as it is making sure that whoever you are sleeping with does not have an STD. And having an STD shouldn't be acceptable to me or anyone else that doesn't want one, just because "most" people have it.

 

Of course you can decide not to be with a person who has a STD; I hold the same opinion with the exception of I wouldn't exclude someone who has ever had a cold sore. Whatever floats your boat.

[lostnscared]

HSV-1 is trickier, I actually don't know anyone who has it. I did have a friend in elementary school who got it as a child--obviously it wasn't from sex. Though the same idea applies: if you don't want someone who has any form of STDS then don't be with a person that has such.

Some people want us to pretend that it isn't a big deal, and that because everyone has it, we should be okay with it or even getting it, and that just isn't the case for me. I don't want an STD...

[Brittney2008]

HSV-1 is trickier, I actually don't know anyone who has it. I did have a friend in elementary school who got it as a child--obviously it wasn't from sex. Though the same idea applies: if you don't want someone who has any form of STDS then don't be with a person that has such.

Some people want us to pretend that it isn't a big deal, and that because everyone has it, we should be okay with it or even getting it, and that just isn't the case for me. I don't want an STD...

 

Yep can't blame ya there. I'm the opposite, so many people I know have had at least one cold sore in their life.

 

This raises the question though, are people going into relationships obligated to say they've had a cold sore?

 

My assumption is that if it's important to you as a individual you should ask if they've had one.

[hannah_k]

Come on. Some of you entirely miss the point.

 

Oral herpes is not considered an STD. It's a viral infection, and yeah, it's permanent. What Brittney (and I, for that matter) are trying to say is that it's unfair and a little ignorant to loop in people with cold sores into people who have STD's. You might even have the virus yourself, and may be asymptomatic. You sound like you put yourself on a pedestal because you're "careful" and wouldn't date anybody who had an STD, even herpes. Again, you might have it and just never had a breakout. Same with your partner.

 

I shower daily, I always use protection, and only get intimate in monogamous relationships, like my current one. I got "lucky" and contracted the virus from my mother as a kid. I'm clean and safe, yet you'd still lump me into that stigma.

 

That's fair.

[lostnscared]

Yep can't blame ya there. I'm the opposite, so many people I know have had at least one cold sore in their life.

 

This raises the question though, are people going into relationships obligated to say they've had a cold sore?

 

My assumption is that if it's important to you as a individual you should ask if they've had one.

 

Honestly in my culture it isn't the "norm" to meet someone who has HSV1 that they got without having sex. It just isn't something that I grew up around. I noticed it among other groups, but not mine. That is why it's never been something I've thought about. But I think it's important that if someone does have an STD or a "Cold Sore" that they mention it to the person they are seriously dating. It's only fair IMO.

[lostnscared]

Come on. Some of you entirely miss the point.

 

Oral herpes is not considered an STD. It's a viral infection, and yeah, it's permanent. What Brittney (and I, for that matter) are trying to say is that it's unfair and a little ignorant to loop in people with cold sores into people who have STD's. You might even have the virus yourself, and may be asymptomatic. You sound like you put yourself on a pedestal because you're "careful" and wouldn't date anybody who had an STD, even herpes. Again, you might have it and just never had a breakout. Same with your partner.

 

I shower daily, I always use protection, and only get intimate in monogamous relationships, like my current one. I got "lucky" and contracted the virus from my mother as a kid. I'm clean and safe, yet you'd still lump me into that stigma.

 

That's fair.

 

I didn't even mention HSV1 until Britney did. I was actually talking about genital herpes and STDS such as those. She was the one that brought it to my attention and I responded.

And no I don't put myself on a pedestal in the least. You must be offended by what I wrote, when clearly I wasn't writing to you. My intent in all of my posts is that if someone doesn't want an STD they shouldn't date someone with an STD. I never really mentioned HSV1 as something that I'd be overly concerned with, but again since I don't want an STD then I probably wouldn't date someone with the HSV1.

And no I don't have it. I actually was tested, a little while ago, as was my boyfriend.

I'm glad you take precautions, I do too. But I won't be made to feel like I'm wrong because I prefer not to want someone with herpes. I'm sorry that you got it from your mom Like I told Britney--that is trickier, and not something I know too much about. But again, if someone doesn't want to date you because of it then there are plenty who won't care. I just do. I didn't really lump oral herpes with genital herpes in the least. But at the same time since I don't want either I wouldnt' date someone that has either.

[orchidrose]

Come on. Some of you entirely miss the point.

 

Oral herpes is not considered an STD. It's a viral infection, and yeah, it's permanent. What Brittney (and I, for that matter) are trying to say is that it's unfair and a little ignorant to loop in people with cold sores into people who have STD's. You might even have the virus yourself, and may be asymptomatic. You sound like you put yourself on a pedestal because you're "careful" and wouldn't date anybody who had an STD, even herpes. Again, you might have it and just never had a breakout. Same with your partner.

 

I shower daily, I always use protection, and only get intimate in monogamous relationships, like my current one. I got "lucky" and contracted the virus from my mother as a kid. I'm clean and safe, yet you'd still lump me into that stigma.

 

That's fair.

 

Yeah, totally agree with this.

 

I also hate the stereotype that people with STDs are dirty and promiscuous. I've had three sexual partners and I contracted HPV from one of them; it's nearly impossible to know who simply by virtue of the fact that MOST men have it and it can sometimes lie dormant for years. HPV can be passed through any sort of genital contact, so it doesn't even require actual intercourse. I would understand someone's unwillingness to date me; I have a bit of a complex about the fact that I even have something that could be considered an STD, but it's unfair to be judged as dirty because I have it.

[lostnscared]

I didn't say anyone was dirty for having an STD. As I told Britney: "Rosephase stated that unless you never sleep with someone or kiss someone you'd be lucky not to get an STD especially if you've had multiple partners. I only responded with sarcasm that this isn't the case for me". I think there is a stigma of people with STD's. And it's unfortunate. But my reasoning has nothing to do with thinking someone is dirty and more to do with me just not wanting an STD at all. I don't really think too much about how one got it, but more along the lines of me not wanting it. I don't think people should be made to feel bad for having an STD, but I also don't like the idea that because there is a large population of those with STDS(even those that aren't sexually transmitted) that we should "accept" it and "be okay" with dating someone with an STD and that just isn't fair either.

[Fudgie]

I agree with hannah, I wouldn't consider cold sores to be a "STD" because it was NOT sexually transmitted. I saw some data somewhere that differentiates between cold sores and genital herpes. Are they related? Yes, we've established this, they are very similar. But from what I've read, the intensities are different and the transmission is different too...that's why I don't consider cold sores to be an STD. I don't say that HERPES (in general) is an STD, but I say that genital herpes is. There's a big difference.

 

Whatever floats your boat though. If you don't want to date someone with cold sores, that's fine, but I wouldn't lump them into the catagory of saying that they have an STD because they DON'T...that's not how they got it. Don't say "I will not date someone with cold sores because I don't want an STD" just say "I will not date someone with cold sores because I don't want to risk getting them too." There, done. Now no one will be offended.

 

Personally, I only know person IRL who won't date people with cold sores. She literally inspects the mouths of people she is considering being with. That's her prerogative though and like I said, she's the only I know who is like this.