Is it common for some men not to show that they still 'want' their girlfriend?

[miie]

Is it common for some men not to show that they still 'want' their girlfriend?

 

Some times i feel that my bf is with me for just being with someone. I see him once a week. We live close to each other too! He always has something else. I dont even remember the last time we spent the entire day together. We see each other Saturday nights usually and tend to keep it free. He ditched any plans we had to go out with his buddies. Him going out isn't the issue at all, it just made me think if he REALLY wants to even see me. He made no effort to see me any other time over the weekend. I would have been happy making it a different day but now I wont see him until next weekend. He wont make any effort to see me during the week either. I've tried. But when you get knocked back each time, you stop trying.

 

I can't even remember a nice thing he's done for me lately. There has never been any suprising me with flowers, or a picnic or dinner or romantic evening. Nothing. He says he loves me - he said it first, but doesn't say it very much - but i honestly some times have trouble feeling that love from him.

[LDRohnos]

Have you spoken with him about this?

[miie]

Have you spoken with him about this?

 

Nope. Im afraid he wont take me seriously, or just tell me the same old thing. That he has been very busy.

[Lovelace]

Yes, it's very common. That's why you hear a lot of married wives complain that their husbands 'aren't romantic anymore' or 'take them for granted'. That's what your guy is doing. He's got you, and men (silly things) tend to think they don't have to do anything to KEEP their ladies.

 

You could tell him flat out that you're not feeling very invested in this relationship anymore, because you don't see him investing in it anymore. Ask him if he still wants to be in this relationship, and let him know what it will take to keep it going. If he has trouble and gets all up-in-arms about it, relate it to a car that's got some trouble. Is he going to get it fixed? It's not going to run on magic. If not, then he needs to gently ditch the car.

[jessica2010]

You said earlier in your post that he is been busy but he is not busy enough to spend time with his mates. I think you need to change your strategy. Rather than making yourself available every saturday, try to have a girls night out once every while or perhaps on a saturday when he is out with his friends.

 

Because he is assuming that you are always going to be available for him whenevr he wants.

Try using this stragtegy, if he really misses you then he will come back requesting you to spend time with you

[BriarRose]

I think it's pretty shabby of him to ditch your plans to be with his buddies. I would talk to him about this. If it does not change, I would consider reevaluating the relationship.

[Jd1983]

How long have you been with him?

 

It does sound as though he is taking you for granted. Have you spoken to him about this at all? You need to let him know how this bothers you, and see if he's willing to put a little more effort into the relationship.

 

If not, I'm afraid things won't be getting any better.

 

All relationships take work from both parties. You can't be doing all the work.

[FathomFear]

I can't even remember a nice thing he's done for me lately. There has never been any suprising me with flowers, or a picnic or dinner or romantic evening. Nothing. He says he loves me - he said it first, but doesn't say it very much - but i honestly some times have trouble feeling that love from him.

 

What nice things have you done for him lately? Just curious--it works both ways.

[miie]

Because he is assuming that you are always going to be available for him whenevr he wants.

Try using this stragtegy, if he really misses you then he will come back requesting you to spend time with you

 

Yep. I think that im too available for him. I stop what im doing when he asks me to do something. But when i do say no that i am busy, he makes out that i dont want to see him and puts on a sad face and poor me act.

 

 

How long have you been with him?.

About 18 months i think.

 

What nice things have you done for him lately? Just curious--it works both ways.

Oh i know, it works both ways. I took him out to a nice dinner when he got his job extended, i bought him something he really has been wanting but could never find one, i found one by pure accident and got it for him. I am also making a few things for him at his request (will take a month or so) and other little things.

 

But Im not talking about big things. Its just little tiny things. I know he doesn't have much money - and it doesn't have to cost anything! Its the thought.

 

He has done a few really nice things in the past.But i mean the little things. Like a hug - or even more - a compliment or saying something nice. Thats probably more it. I give them to him. I usually just get sarcastic remarks.