An old friend is depressed. Should I reach out?

[SpottiOtti]

The caveat is that I sort of stopped being her friend because she sucked all the good energy out of me whenever we hung out, and I felt like she didn't really want to help herself. Her aunt offered to pay for therapy, and medication, and she only went a couple of times, and goes off and on her mood stabilizers. I just got to the point where I felt that our relationship was so unequal and draining that I didn't want to keep putting energy out there anymore.

 

So anyway, a mutual acquaintance told me last night, "X is really depressed, so if you feel like reaching out she could really use it right now." I can't decide what to do. Is it really bad of me not to suck it up and deal with my discomfort around her? What do you guys think?

[alive_inside]

I think it shows how much of a true friend you are by showing concern for her. If you do reach out, I think it will just continue to be one-sided because she's going through a hard time.

[Ivory_Tower]

When I was going through a really hard time last year I learned who my true friends are. People who didn't care abandoned me completely. They didn't want to hear a "sob story" and listen to what I had to say.

 

Of course they tried to return when I was well again! They won't get any of my time or energy again.

 

Most people need a friend in their darkest hour.

[SpottiOtti]

Yes, I have also had "friends" abandon me when I needed them most.

 

The thing about this girl is, it's always her darkest hour, and has been for the last three years that I've known her. She has bouts of depression, which go untreated, even though she has options available to her. So I'm trying to decide if another bout of depression, which in my opinion could have been avoided, is worth the drain on my energy. I have a lot going on, and I don't mind helping friends who I might actually be able to help, if that makes sense. But I don't think she's one of them.

 

But I sort of feel like feeling this way makes me a bad person.