I need to get over it, and some nonsense

[Nappeal]

One of the last things of meaning that he told me about the BU was 'I don't feel like we've been together for a few months'. IDK why he kept it going on in those months...I wish he wouldn't have, but it just lets me know he's had one foot out the door for a while. I really wish he didn't drag things out like he had, but what can you do? I just have to convince myself...my heart...everyday as often as I can, that he is not and has not been interested in the relationship for a long time. That's why he can ignore me and seemingly (and in reality) move on...

 

Its been a hard day and my emotions have been everywhere.

 

I had a dream last night that I watched a motorcyclist get into an accident and he had then walked from the street to a bunch of rock behind a house. I walked up to him but he wouldn't speak to or look @ me. I told him that I was a nurse and it was ok, so he turned to me and showed me that his hand had been cut off. I wrapped it up w gauze that popped out of no where and we waited and waited for the ambulance, but they took forever and once they came they didn't see me jumping in the street trying to get their attention. Long story, I know, but here's the point: I woke up incredibly disturbed by this dream...like, wicked disturbed. And I was happy! Woohoo! I finally woke up one morning w out HIM on my brain - yea right, that laste d whole 10 min (actually NO minutes if you consider that the first thing I thought was 'I'm not thinking of X!'). It was like I was so depressed about my dream that I was even more depressed about him.

[Hell_On_Heels]

It really is a tough thing to wrap your head around - that the dumpers have left us long before they break up with us. You wonder why didn't they talk about it? Why did they wait? You feel like a fool for not knowing, even though if you'd asked, you'd probably be told that nothing was wrong, or it's work stress, etc. (That's happened to me and many of us here.)

 

I don't know why they leave us emotionally, and then leave us physically later on. I must've done the same thing when I was the dumper, but of course I can't remember it now. It is easier to move on as the dumper because you've already left in so many ways. That's harsh when you're/we're the dumpee.

 

It can truly feel like it changes who we are, and our worth, but you know what? It doesn't. There is no shame in loving someone, being honest about those feelings, hoping that the relationship had gone differently, and simply not knowing your ex was struggling, wanting to leave. It doesn't change one thing about you, or make you less than you were before.

 

Your dream was disturbing and kinda icky (lol). There will be a day soon where you dream about nice things, and you don't think about the ex at all, much less soon after waking. I had to laugh at your logic, though - the "actually NO minutes" part was funny.