This is so frustrating!

[polka_hats]

I have posted in the "getting back together" forum the whole story about my break-up, but now I have a whole new range of emotions about it.

 

After jerking me around and saying he "didn't know what he wanted" for almost 2 months, and after finding out he was dating his ex, and after he called to accuse me of stealing the cat (how ridiculous) and sleeping with his friend (even more ridiculous) it all reached a boiling point Saturday.

 

He called me from a blocked number cuz he knew I wouldn't answer if I knew it was him and he told me to stop talking to "his" friends (they are mutual friends) and then he proceeded to voluntarily tell me that he isn't dating his previous ex, which is a blatant lie, and that he wasn't sure yet if he wanted to get back together with me. AHHH!!! What.The.Fudge. Why on earth would he say those 2 things to me?? He then said that he wished the week we'd broken up had gone differently and that I should have told him how I was feeling sooner. Just to put things in perspective for you guys, we broke up on a Tuesday, I called him on the Thursday to tell him how I felt. He has also told ppl that he and I didn't have any passion anymore and he has amazing passion with the chick hes with now, so I'm not understanding why he cares about whats going on in my life anymore???

 

I now know I won't be taking him back if he ever decides he wants to try to do that, but why is he doing this to me? Why does he feel the need to call me to accuse me of ridiculous things? Why would he lie to me about being in a relationship with someone else? What the heck is going on, I'm just so confused and angry and hurt....

[ksh1255]

I would tell him the choice was no longer his on rather you two got back together. Forget about him and his games, and don't kill yourself wondering why he is doing it, just know he is not worth it.

[Mercurial Girl]

 

I now know I won't be taking him back if he ever decides he wants to try to do that, but why is he doing this to me? Why does he feel the need to call me to accuse me of ridiculous things? Why would he lie to me about being in a relationship with someone else? What the heck is going on, I'm just so confused and angry and hurt....

 

Control, control, control.

 

Your response? Ignore, ignore, ignore!

[HeartGoesOn]

I now know I won't be taking him back if he ever decides he wants to try to do that, but why is he doing this to me? Why does he feel the need to call me to accuse me of ridiculous things? Why would he lie to me about being in a relationship with someone else? What the heck is going on, I'm just so confused and angry and hurt....

 

I understand that you're hurt by this, but since you're not taking him back, why put yourself through all this stress and worry?

 

You do have the ability to teach people how to treat you.

[polka_hats]

I understand that you're hurt by this, but since you're not taking him back, why put yourself through all this stress and worry?

 

You do have the ability to teach people how to treat you.

 

Very true. I think it's because I still love him, despite the b.s. a person can't just turn love off and on. Plus for the 3 years we were together it was a very real love that we had and honestly a really great relationship (up until the end). So it's hard for me to even imagine him being so rude and selfish when he wasn't like that at all before. I suppose I'm just trying to understand why he would be doing this to me when just a few months ago we were in love.

 

Thank you for all the responses! Has anyone else had something similar happen? What is the right way to deal with this, ignoring sounds like the best option to me, but I'm not 100% sure I'll be strong enough to stick to it if he tries to contact me.

[bwhite00]

This is what I did to my ex who did the whole hot/cold routine post BU and disrespected me in the process...

 

I called her immature, told her he's been treating me like a b**** since we broke up, told her to grow up and never call/text me again and I would also not contact her. I did this just to vent (a lot of frustrations I had held in 3 months since we broke up and I just lost my cool) and to go mutual NC FOREVER (I wasn't texting/calling her and she'd evntually reach out to me and I'd reply).

 

Ironically she contacted me later that day, I was polite to her and now we're dating again (absolutely should not have gone down like that). But if you use my approach I'd expect in 99% of the cases: NC becomes permanent - and that's what I was prepared to do.