xthe core enemyx Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 It may not be the best i have written but please tell me, i need more peoples opinions other then me own. it would be greatly appreciated. "Six Feet" I have die again bury me deep so they can steal my soul bury me deep to where I will rot under six feet of dirt Beneath my secrets and lies Until I wake and find it was a dream so i can cry myself back to sleep and die once again Death is a gift and also a curse, as is life I will travel to the pits of hell and never see the light of day my only light will be the fire that burns me away So I can cry myself back to sleep and die... Once again Link to comment
XxBury me DeepxX Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 I liked it. it's deep. Link to comment
hurtabandoned Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Wow! You're only 14. It's dark but very good. Keep writing. Hurt Link to comment
i_hate_the_world47 Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I like all of your poems including this one,I can relate to all of your poems.I wnt you to read this poem and tell me what u think Bye Daddy The pain I just cant take it The beatings to severe That's fine ignore me As you grab another beer This time its different Your screams and your yells You can take it all with you On your trip to Hell I cant take it dad I love so Even when you hit me Or call me a ho But I am done daddy This fight you have won Just answer me one more question Where is the gun? I am leaving daddy My life is done ring the bell But I will remember you As I burn in my fiery jail Meagan Link to comment
xthe core enemyx Posted July 19, 2004 Author Share Posted July 19, 2004 I think your poem is very good. it's really ful of emotion Link to comment
lunatic Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 WOW what a cool poem. Keep up the great writing. Hubman 8) Link to comment
boredguy Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 I really liked it, its very deep and imaginitive. yet its so sad it seems to be asking for death again and again... Link to comment
jaiva Posted July 26, 2004 Share Posted July 26, 2004 I understand how you feel. I was once a person who buried everything that cause me grief deep in the dirt so it was kinda like burying my soul. After a year of soul searching with the help of one of my friends, who is now the love of my life, I am capable of talking about how I feel and I no longer bury all of the things that bother me. I'm still working on it though. I wish you the best. Jaiva Link to comment
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