Fallen for her already...now this :(

[Mr_LFA]

Dating is pretty frustrating right now...why do I fall for someone so quickly?

 

 

So I met this girl in a club last month and there was instant attraction/chemistry so we were talking on the couch and found out she is from the same small country town I'm from! So she became more interested in me at that stage and I got her number...ended up talking more and she told me shes never had a bf before and shes only "been" with a couple of guys before. I also noted at some stage she said she didn't want a bf too. She is almost 20 and a full time University student.

 

So things were going well later on in the night with some dancing and kissing on the dance floor...So before she left she asked if I was going to text her and I replied "maybe" lol...I then walked her to the door and she kissed me goodbye.

 

So a few days later I text her and ask her if she wanted to meet for a drink that night (Friday night)...she replied that she couldn't because she was working till after midnight that night and she was going back to see her folks in the country in the morning for a few days. So I basically said no worries talk to you when you get back.

 

So about 5 days later I text her with a fun flirty message and she replies back quickly. I have to say this girl seems to love to have a conversation via text so I just go along with it. About a week later she texts me on a Sunday night telling me she was drunk etc so I reply with a flirty text and she replies "wanna catch up sometime, just give me warning" so I reply sure that sounds good. So I text her that Tuesday asking if she wanted to meet up on Thursday. Didn't get a reply at all so I texted her that Wednesday night and didn't wanna seem too needy so I wrote "hey you ran outta credit So straight away (I mean a minute later) I get a text back with her telling me how busy and stressed she is and how uni is getting to her plus a lot of "other stuff" and how her weeks been hell and she isn't thinking straight and sorry for the late notice. I just think * * * ? and reply saying sorry to hear that looking forward to some other time then.

 

So I leave it for a few days and text her and we text back and forward and I ask her if she wanted to go out for a drink sometime and she replies "sure I'd love to" but "I'm either tired, can't be bothered putting make up on or something else". So I ask her if we could catch a movie and she says "yeah when it suits..night X". So that next week we text back and forward and she seems interested in what I'm up to etc.. So Sunday comes around and she texts me and I end up asking her if she wanted to meet up for a drink that night and I guess she had to think about it for a few hours and then she FINALLY said she wanted to meet me!! (this is about 3 weeks after we first met) Anyway I'm persistent...

 

I meet her that night and a few of her friends at a bar end up staying for a while when we leave them and take off to another lounge bar together. Things are going pretty well and she lets me walk with my arm around her and while were at the lounge bar I had my arm around her the whole time and she seemed to be very comfortable. I ended up dropping her home and she invites me in for a bit to show me her house and room etc...but I didn't stay long as she knew I had to get up early the next day. She walks me out to my car and we kiss for a while and she says "sorry for taking so long to meet up...I'm scared of commitment". I actually didn't know what to reply to that so I said thats okay I have been through a lot too (referring to my last LTR) and she said we gotta talk about that sometime... so she says "text me" and I leave.

 

So I end up texting her later on in the week saying it would be nice to catchup this weekend and she replies straight away "sure, either Friday (pub crawl) night or Sunday suit you?" (she works Sat night) and so I opted for Friday because I usually have basketball sunday and then sometime later I get a text back saying that she'd rather not meet me Friday because she will be on a uni pub crawl and that it might be a bit rude because "I'll be all over you instead of with my friends...so I said thats cool I should be able to catchup Sunday with you....Anyway friday night rolls around and I get a drunk text from her asking me to meet her and her uni friends at a bar. I agreed to meet her and offered her a lift home later (I probably shouldn't have because it was getting late but I wasn't doing much). She also mentioned that she wanted to stay at home that night because her mum was coming over in the morning, even though I never asked her to stay anywhere else? ](*,)

 

So I meet her and she is pretty drunk and I was pretty much sober and she introduces me to some of her friends and offers to buy me a drink but I just drank water because I was driving. Things are going well and we end up again on the dance floor with a lot of close dancing and kissing - she seemed very much into me just like everytime we meet.. so ended up dropping her home and ended up kissing for a while in the car before she went inside. All seemed to be good. So I texted her the next day asking if she wanted to meet up sunday again like we originally planned and I get a reply saying that she wasn't thinking about "anything at the moment" and "I don't know how i'll feel tomorrow - chances are that I'll be tired, grumpy and cold". So I said thats okay just let me know tomorrow. So I get a text about lunchtime Sunday with her telling me that sorry she wont be able to do anything tonight, I've been up till 4am the last couple of days. So I reply thats cool, some other time then.

 

....This now brings me to last week where things seemed to have fallen apart.

 

I text her Wednesday and just her how her day has been and get a reply straight away with her telling me how shes still at uni trying to get things done and how tired she is etc. and she said "I'll text you later, I need to get this stuff finished Xx". I replied "Okay " ....so I didn't end up getting any reply from her that night or the next.

 

I text her again on Friday about lunchtime stating that it would be good to catch up this weekend. I get this text back right away:

 

HER Not happening. I'm just dealing with so much family crap lately, I'm not a nice person to be around. That's why I've been weird lately. Sorry but I need to call it all off for a bit if thats ok? I will try to let you know. I'm just really off and you don't wanna be around me I promise Xx."[/i]

 

ME: "I understand. I have been worrying it was me or something because I really like you and so I'll give you space if thats what you need."

 

HER: "yeah Thankyou. It's my family treating me like a child and trying to intervene in something thats none of their business. I spend last night balling my eyes out..And today just can't get any longer, and I feel so ill. But yeah its def not you. X"

 

ME: "sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. hope this family stuff is nothing to do with me? I just wanna know how you feel thats all."

 

HER: "Nah nothing - i swear nothing to do with you at all. I'm just struggling to concentrate on uni and stuff with all this going on, and i have to concentrate a bit more and whatever. It's all just getting to me. I just didn't wanna hold you back.. U shouldn't have to wait around"

 

ME: "I understand, I just enjoy your company..I am cool with taking things slow...I've been through a lot too. If you wanna chat in person sometime I'd like that..I don't do text too well.."

 

 

I haven't heard back from her for three days...I'm pretty confused as to what I should do now, I guess nothing...I feel bad for falling for her as when we are together in person we get along great and there is strong attraction/chemistry on both sides...I really like her and I feel I fell for her too quickly...then I get this....I feel rejected....am I contacting her too much? Should I even bother anymore? Do I expect to hear from her again?

 

Confused. ](*,) Thanks for reading and sorry if this was drawn out.

[supadoc]

I think you're probably not the only one confused at the moment. She is probably confused too. Sounds like she has a lot to deal with at the moment and probably does not want the added stress of starting a new relationship.

 

But I think a girl wouldn't behave like she had if she wasn't into you. So I guess just give her some time to sort other stuff out and see. I know it's hard but try not to contact her. Wait for her to initiate.

[Mr_LFA]

Cheers supadoc - Yeah agreed, I think she definitely is confused (and stressed out). I wouldn't be so hung up on her if I knew she wasn't into me...I've met/dated many girls in the last 18 or so months after a LTR and none have had this kinda effect on me, almost what could be described as feelings of limerence... lol!

 

You are right, I shouldn't contact her...that would probably push her away? I'm not gonna wait as such because there is no time frame, I just have to see what happens.

 

any other ideas anyone?

[AbombSnowMan]

seems like she likes you...when shes drunk.

[alive_inside]

It's definitely not your fault. You were being nothing but supportive and understanding.. she sounds confused, like she doesn't know what she wants. Give it time and I also think you should give her some space.

[Puddincup]

For all you know she might have a crazy mother and a drunk father that she's dealing with. Just because she's not emotionally available doesn't mean it's about you. If you play it cool, she might come around. I would give her space and see if she gets the other things in her life straightened out. She has your number. She will call if/when she's ready. I don't think there is anything you can do except wait or move on.