bunkos Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 I moved in w/ my girlfriend in September while we are going to school. Just a month ago I had a huge talk w/ her about our relationship cause I really wasn't happy with our relationship on a sexual/intamate level. We get along great, only I really don't feel that the spark is there, no passion, no lust. Its tough... we're moving back to our respective parents houses in the summer and I really just want to tell her that its over. I love her like friggin' crazy. There is no doubt about that, but I'm just not happy with the relationship itself. Its eating me up big time. Any Tips? Any thoughts? I'm about 95% sure that I should break up with her only I know in 2 or 3 years from now I'm going to regret it cause she's one of those girls that you would easily spend the rest of your days w/. DAMN IT! Link to comment
Rachelle_19 Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 I would go for the long term thing, if I were you. If you're not happy with the sexual part right now, perhaps the two of you could work on it? If she's the type of girl who you would want to spend the rest of your life with, then I'd stick with her. And the two of you get along great? All the better. Link to comment
bunkos Posted March 29, 2003 Author Share Posted March 29, 2003 Oh yeah, and when we had that talk a month ago, she told me something huge... here it is. When we were together for about 3-4months she got diagnosed with the clap... chlomidia. I didn't have it but she did. She said that ever since that day she has thought about it everyday, and that is why she has trouble w/ the intamicy. She held it back from me for about 2 years. I think just the whole thing has soured the relationship in my eyes. I was so shoked to hear that she couldn't even tell me that it was bothering her for that whole time. We talked about it when it happened and I just blew it off... no big deal, that shits like wild fire anyways... I know tons of people who have had it. She keeps in her feelings, totally sucks. DAMN IT AGAIN! Link to comment
Rachelle_19 Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 Sorry, looks like I shot my mouth off before you gave the update! But I really still stand by my advice. I'm sure you'll get more. Link to comment
bunkos Posted March 29, 2003 Author Share Posted March 29, 2003 I've been sticking it out for 2 years now and it really sucks... SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.. I don't even know what to say cause my head is so cluttered Link to comment
Gilgamesh Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 Hey, I wouldnt get rid off this girl. if she has a problem being intimate, this can be worked through. Iam worried that your reaction to her having VD, (do people still say VD seems so old fashioned?) is whats sticking in her head, maybe she feels guilty, or ashamed, maybe she was expecting a little more compassion instead of the shock from you. I am assuming she did NOT contract this from a sexual encounter. in that case you should have handled it like if she got sick from anything else. and should have comforted her. I know it happened 2 years ago, but it was embarrasing for her to tell you. Look, its not easy finding someone you can get along with, and you will regret it if you break up with her, and if you do, you will be hurting her, and if you try to come back, it will never be the same. Just talk to her, or get some counselling to find out what the hang up is. I bet once she is comfortable with it, that in a couple years youll be writing back in this forum that your girl wants too much sex and you cant handle it! Link to comment
bunkos Posted March 29, 2003 Author Share Posted March 29, 2003 I think maybe I just wan't clear on some things... its not a sex issue, the sex is fine. It has more to do with passion, lust, romance, those sorts of things. Also, she did get it from sex, and I was quite compassionate about it. We went through weeks were she was upset about it. I thought she was over it but she wasn't. Only to find out 2 years later, its been controlling her and our relationship the whole time. Its just so confusing how I should feel right now... I don't know whether to be mad at her for not telling me for all that time, or if I should just let it go. Defiantely a weird situation Link to comment
TearsofaDragon20 Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 look at it this way she is feeling that she cant do the things you would like to. as i mean by that is, she is be held back by her own feelings and she doesnt see how she can be like that. if you bring it up to her and at least see how she reacts to it. but dont just get rid of her because she doesnt get lustful. if she's a good woman then keep her. its what counts in side. not that fantasies that you want. it would be very idiotic to go about dumping her because she doesnt get kinky or get down on the wild side. think about what your actions are. because if you dont and you let her go and then kick yourself for it then it's only your fault for doing that. talk to her and she how she acts about the subject. but for god sakes at least give her some slack there about it. Link to comment
cookies Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 oh man....i am SO sorry to be the barrier of bad news but you MUST go and get yourself checked. Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted disease that is the "Silent" predator which causes sterility in young men and women if left untreated. Sometimes the symptoms in women are noticeable sooner than with men, altho it can go unrecognizable in both men and women for awhile. As I said, this disease can leave its victims sterile and unable to have children, and those of you that are unaware of this...and advised differently PLEASE read the links at the bottom of my post, as it will enlighten you to the truth... As far as your girlfriend...again, id hate to be the barrier of bad news. This is a sexually transmitted disease, and she obviously got it through either having sex with someone that has the disease, or you gave it to her and isnt aware you have it at the moment...and if you havent cheated on her...then GUESS WHAT? This disease is sexually transmitted...point blank...no "ifs", "ands" or "butts" about it... Another fact to consider is that, sometimes it can remain "hidden" with no signs or symptons in the transmitter´s body for weeks, months or even longer. Loyalty and fidelity is always important for a relationship to prosper, besides unprotected sex could have easily ended up with someone contracting a deadlier disease, such as AIDS instead of this "wakeup" call. The first link below states alarming facts about ppl/women that have contracted chlamydia, are "more prone" to contracting AIDS, when having sex with multiple partners... IN any relationshíp, you must go with your intuition. If you feel 95% sure of a breakup,...then go with what ur feeling. Staying in a relationship "just because" is a mistake in my opinion, because it goes against the natural flow of things, by trying to "make" it work. Sometimes distance actually draws us closer. Even if you just slow things down abit and become friends, and not live together any longer, can take u a couple of steps backwards to where that spark usta be hott and flaming beyong your imagination. Its your choice, but to slow it down, think about this disease and just adhere to your intuitions, wil be your best option. and get urself checked.. here are some links link for you and all the others that are unaware of how chlamydia is transmitted. Its important for all of us, especially women to be more aware of these seemingly small diseases, that can and will cause damage to our bodies and reproductive systems, and emotional wellbeing further down the line, if left unaware and untreated... peace cookies Link to comment
SadnLonelyGuy Posted March 29, 2003 Share Posted March 29, 2003 I say go with what cookies said! (but in my advice, i never said anything about sex, just stay with her) I'm outta here y'all 8) Link to comment
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