Need to Vent

[Nappyloxs]

So I checked her FB profile. (New study on Yahoo says it is as addictive as a hard drug during a breakup). I know I shouldn't do it, so please don't talk about that.

 

Anywho.

 

Ex. is living her life and it pisses me off. She is doing activities that we should have done together, but if I ever suggested any of it, she would have said she is broke or busy or etc....

 

She is meeting new friends. But I know my ex. and how anti-social and how she pretends in public.

 

The truth is that I am basically just pissed off that she is not missing me. That she isn't going through what I am.

 

I am going to therapy, taking AD, reading about codependancy, and narcissists.

 

Don't get me wrong, I working out, focusing more on work, and just generally trying to improve myself.

 

I am just pissed that I miss her. Although, I know our relationship was B.S. I just hate realizing I loved someone who I am starting to see did not really love me.

[bearskittie]

maybe she did love you but has moved on quicker and many ppl change alot after a break so that they dont get with a similar type of person as their ex and i'm sorry to here that your going though a tough time right now.

[Nappyloxs]

Thanks. Yes, she is much better at this breakup stuff than I am. Last time, she went 4 months of NC before we got back together. Problems was she did not change or ever though she did anything wrong. It even got worst in a lot of ways as she was always right and everything had to be about her. That isn't love.

 

Just have to use it as motivation and stick with my plan. I know will be better from all this. It just hurts knowing that I will never be part of her life.

 

Screwed up. My mind literally pulls in two directions. Ugh!

[Nappyloxs]

This is actually the first day since the breakup were I have just been mad. Want to tell her F her.

 

I was also tired at the end of the relationship. I could see how incompatible we were. How she more than me quit on the relationship. I can go through all the B.S. she put me through and know that I still loved her through it all. Although, we weren't married, I loved her for better or worst and was and would have always been there for her. Ugh.

[iBroken]

You broke up with her right?

 

Some people cope this way. When my ex dumped my ass, I didnt sit at home and mope. I went out and lived life. I kept busy which yes, was a complete opposite of what my ex and I did (hung out at our place etc).

 

I did it to keep busy so I didnt waste my time or tears over someone who wasnt worth it. So maybe shes doing this so that she doesnt sit at home and cry over the guy that left her?

[Nappyloxs]

No, she dumped me. She was always dumping me. It got to a point where she would dump me every week.

 

The last time was real. She got made at me on her birthday and kicked me out of her house. The next day, she wanted it over. But I gave her gift and everything was good until that night. Then another fight. We made up.

 

The following week she was avoiding me, I felt like. I had to go out of town for a few days. She did not send any time with me before I went out of town and wouldn't take me to the airport. I give her credit though. She did stay at my house and watch the dogs.

 

I came back on a Saturday, but I could tell she didn't really miss me. Although, I was only gone for 3 days. I missed her.

 

Anyways, she knows I suffer from insomnia. I told her how the whole time I was out of town and that whole week, I did not sleep well at all. I usually only sleep well next to her.

 

Sunday comes and she tries to wake me up to rush to her house to fix a piece of siding that fell of her house. Her roommate had called her and let her know. I didn't wake up. I told her we can do it later that day. But no, she left and took all her stuff. I woke up called her thinking. Okay she is going to be mad at me which she was.

 

Later, she called and said it was over. I was so tired of her always saying it was over and just her always wanting me to do things for her right then and there. (Much more to background), I just said okay and hung up.

 

A few days later I texted asking if she was sure this is what she wanted. She said yes, I wrote something back about loving her, but being tired of the relationship.

 

And we have not communicated since.

 

I could tell she was crying that day she broke up with me, but I was honestly too tired of her give-me-give-me-give-me. To bother talking about it. When she said she wanted it over, I just said okay. I was tired of always being the one who said "let's talk about this." She wanted me out of her life, so be it. I am out of it.