He takes NO consideration into how I'm feeling

[ButterflyWrists]

Well to start out, before everyone assumes I'm a I've just recently had a laroscopy (operation into the womb) that was on Wednesday just gone.

 

So, I've been in pain since the operation, which is normal, and thus have not been able to do much for myself and not been able to move around or anything, my boyfriend came down as my mum has work, so he could look after me and make sure I was ok, now when my mums been in work hes been trying to make me do things standing up and helping him cook, I normally don't mind this, but currently I would rather be resting and concentrating on not hurting my tummy.

 

My boyfriend has also been causing me physical pain, now this was not intentional he just does not think at all. He's been pretending to go to hit my tummy, that causes my muscles to contract, like anyones would. This has lead to pain and a slight tearing of the glue sealing the wound, thus the wound has had discharge. Now I have to be on anti-biotics because an infection has got in there. My boyfriend is still expecting me to go and do things with him and help him and do things for him.

 

Earlier today he really made me angry, I've been moody all week since this operation as I'm frustrated with not being able to do anything, and I am in much more pain than I should be. I've had worse operations than this, and I've been fine up to three days after the operation.

Anyway, we was going for a walk, and he just pulled me to be by his side, this pulled me into the road (not a busy road with cars coming!) and this again pulled at my wound causing pain. I got angry at him, and he believes I am completely overreacting.

 

ARGH, I don't know what to do. I have no trust in him, and that mixed with this is causing huge doubts in my mind about our relationship.

[mca1975]

He sounds horrible. How could he do that, even mucking about. He is selfish.

 

Is he spoilt by any chance? Probably doesn't like that you are getting attention/needing looking after, because he wants to be looked after like a little boy. Thinks your his mummy.

 

God, what is the matter with men these days.

[livelarge]

Tell him to go away and come back when you are feeling better because telling him that he is causing you pain isn't working.

 

You shouldn't have to suffer fools while you are healing.

[odile]

He sounds extremely immature.

Some people have difficulty empathising with others, and will take a position that

fails to recognise what another is going through.

Because he cannot relate to your pain, he is treating you as if your surgery was no big deal.

 

He needs to be sat down, by you, or your mother, and

have explained to him the seriousness of the matter.

Your health is important, and you need to rest and heal.

 

If he is unable or unwilling to understand and be supportive, then this indicates that

perhaps he is not someone that you can really rely on in the way that you would hope.

[ButterflyWrists]

He's going home tomorrow. I did speak with him about his behavior, although I'm not sure if he fully understands. He presumed I was ok because directly after the operation I wasn't feeling too much pain, but I was pumped full of painkillers.

He is a little spoilt by his parents, but he's never acted like this before with me. I just hope he doesn't expect too much of me at the moment. He ignored my mums orders, but eh. Grr men.

[mca1975]

He's going home tomorrow. I did speak with him about his behavior, although I'm not sure if he fully understands. He presumed I was ok because directly after the operation I wasn't feeling too much pain, but I was pumped full of painkillers.

He is a little spoilt by his parents, but he's never acted like this before with me. I just hope he doesn't expect too much of me at the moment. He ignored my mums orders, but eh. Grr men.

 

Well its hurtful isn't it. He shouldn't be acting like that. He sounds like someone I once knew. Cannot stand someone else getting attention. Hope you feel better soon. If he carries on, tell him to MAN UP and look after you.

[ButterflyWrists]

Thanks mca, lol he could be someone you once knew, he lives in london!

But in all seriousness, I'm not letting him treat me roughly no matter how much he "claims it is a game" etc. I need to make sure this is all sorted before I start university, and having complications with surgery this close (2 months! eek!) from the start of uni, would not be good!. I just hope he doesn't keep seeing it as me overreacting like he said earlier

[geekgirl4]

Even if he does see you as overreacting, why does it matter? He sounds VERY selfish and immature so anything he says is moot. Post op health is very critical and he is doing NOTHING to get you healthy and pain free. Cut this unhealthy part out of your life and concentrate on feeling better.