katyg79 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 My ex and i have been in low contact since we broke up 3 months ago.. for those who dont know if found out he was fooling around online with other girls and i had had enough.. anyway - i love this guy (or i thought i did) and was devastated to find out after 2 weeks of us breaking up he started a relationship with another girl; THat was just under 3 months ago and his family tell me they have never met her and i was the right girl for him..he just didnt think.. anyway, he sent me a message yesterday just chit chat mainly but he put that he is still seeing ****** but as to how it is going that is debatable! what is the point of him telling me this.. your thoughts please.. is he just rubbing it in?? Link to comment
baxxter Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 He is keeping you as a back-up. Link to comment
No1 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 He is seeing if you are still 'there' I agree. As long as you react with an emotion, he knows you still care. Even if its anger you still care. So dont react. Link to comment
katyg79 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 i havent responded and i dont intend to as much as i am very tempted i am gonna try to ignore his email and go nc for a bit. i am happy now after 3 months, i have a new date with an old school friend on tuesday i dont want him to mess things up for me.. my friends tell me he wants his cake and eat it!! does it mean he is happy but wants to know i am there just in case?? Link to comment
Shineon Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 He is definitely testing the waters to see where you are at (with him). If you respond it is going to open the door to further conversation. I would just ignore it. I know it's tempting to think he still cares, but from my experience, it's a trap. Be strong. Link to comment
No1 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 He was just fishing to see if you would still nibble on the line. You dont have to respond, or if you do a simple "Im doing good, glad youre doing well" and thats it, no room for a response, or a discussion. And if he responds, just ignore them. Do you still have any saved texts, emails, pictures saved on your phone or computer? Do you look at his Facebook? Link to comment
katyg79 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 i am no longer his friend on facebook so no i dont look at that... i dont have his number on my phone and no i have no photos, i am trying to cut contact. he messages me on facebook. i am soft i know i am but i am going to be strong with this one. I know your right he is waiting for a reaction. if you had asked me a month ago it would have got my hopes up that we are meant to be together but this is typical him, he wants everything on his terms ... my next move - should i block him and cut contact with his family?? Link to comment
No1 Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Should you block him and cut contact with his family? That takes time and energy to block anyone. Just move on and live your life as you have been doing the past 3 months. You have been doing pretty good minus the text messages. If he texts you, just know he is being totally selfish and delete them. Even if he asks how are you doing? he wants to know that you are still there no matter what your answer is, if you answer, it means you still care and he still has strings to your heart. Even if he does, he doesnt need to know that you do. Eventually those strings will go away and he cant tug on them anymore. just remember, he is with someone else. He chose her over you, let him live by his choice. You will find someone who is worthy of your time and energy. As far as his family, if you contact them and then they tell him that you still talk to him, he might get mad or think you still want him. My thought is that if you still contact his family that he might think that you are keeping tabs or still want him. Imagine how it would feel if your mom or dad said "oh your X called us to say hi" Link to comment
odile Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Yep, he was testing the waters. What a sleeze. It doesn't sound like there's a need to block his family, or do anything dramatic. But if I were in your shoes, I'd definitely tell him off! Link to comment
WomanWriter Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Some people are clueless or have no feelings. My latest ex tried to tell me about his relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. WHY would I want to hear about that? He was so dumb to ask his sister what she thought even though he knows she hates her and likes me. He is seriously looking for someone to talk to so he can brag. Sounds like your bf wants attention (you said he was messing with girls online). My ex was the same way. They just love to stir up trouble and cat fights. Best thing to do is ignore them. I told my ex that I "don't do drama" when other people are involved. I said "It's your life. I don't touch that." He seemed disappointed. Your guy probably just wants you to fight over him. Call his bluff. Link to comment
katyg79 Posted July 24, 2010 Author Share Posted July 24, 2010 I have replied this morning I felt I had to but only replied to say have a lovely birthday I made no comments about what he said hopefully that will do the trick . I understand when u say I wouldn't like him contacting my family but he was the one who cheated not me. I spent alot of time with his brother and sister in law and I get on very well with them. They aren't taking sides but they believe he has made the wrong choice and will come crawling back. He knows I was very close to them whilst he made no effort with my family at all. I am getting on with my life now and I need him to know I am not his little puppet Link to comment
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