Why start a age gap relationship knowing the likely outcome?

[lovelocks]

So my bf (31 I am now 19 met when i was 18 of almost a year that I have lived with 8 months...has been questioning our future.

He says that he is worried, I will be like my teen friends and want to date someone my own age.

That I am probably going to change and grow into someone different and break up with him down the road.

 

Okay so why would a guy get involved with such an age gap and ask me to live with him so soon, If he already thinks he knows the likely outcome?

[Fudgie]

He may have questions/worries about the future but he may still want to go on and try and make it work with you.

 

The question is here - how do YOU feel about the situation? Do you want to live with him? What about school? How do you see your future with him, if there is one?

 

You need to go with your gut on this one. I don't know if you guys will fail or not. I think age gap relationships are definitely possible (I am in one) provided that both people are patient and on the same page.

[Esteller]

i think he was looking for reassurance that maybe the possibility of this situation to work.

[GAP]

His is a realistic insecurity although it could be bolstered by previous relationships which he is the transferring onto yours. Personally, I would totally understand if my 20 yr old gf decided on a guy her age. I would still be heartbroken, but cognitively, it's a no brainer.

[lostnscared]

I think you REALLY need to evaluate whether or not you want to be with this man anymore. I say this not because of the age difference--though I would never date a man myself that was more than 5 years older than me--but because this is about your third or fourth thread about this relationship and this man and your concerns and doubts about him and his age and his intentions.

I feel as if you BOTH are insecure. You don't feel that this relationship is genuine, you feel like a rebound, you feel that the age difference is inappropriate and doesn't make sense. In other words you question the complete validity of this relationship, which allows me to think that you don't *feel* that secure about the future or it lasting. I think he suspects this. I also think that based on what you've posted about him, he has his own issues that has led him to feel the way he does.

 

Nonetheless, I think the best case of action is that both of you sit down and REALLY have an open-hearted discussion about where you see this going. Also, I would say that moving out would be good for you and this relationship.

 

Good luck.