I want him back and don't know what to do

[eden760]

My BF of 2.5 years broke up with me Tuesday night. He said he thought we were not meant to be, he was not in love w/ me like I was with him etc.

All I can think of is how close we were, he was my best friend and partner.

 

I can't believe he could just walk out the door that night- not look back and not be upset. Maybe because this is really what he wants and he is excited for this new phase of his life. I still love him. I want to get him back.

 

However

1) He is in the process of moving out. He has been staying with friends and texted me yesterday asking if he could come by and get more clothes and today texted me that he needed me to release his cell phone from my plan. And that he is OK and he hopes I am doing well. I can't really do no contact because of this, but I am handling it with grace. I have not asked to see him, just nicely replied to his requests.

 

2) Most of our freinds are part of the same large circle, but I am beginning to realize they are more his friends since they are from his work. We all do lots of activities together- how can I still retain friendships and do NC. I think I have to suck it up and enjoy my friendships even if he is part of the group no matter how painful it is.

 

Has anyone gotten back together with an ex who broke it off like mine and was in the same friend situation? I dont know the best way to approach it, without making myself unjustly hopeful or out of my mind. I also want him to miss me, wouldn't no contact be the best way?

[iBroken]

Make plans to see these friends when they are not with him.

 

Also get out there and make new friends and meet new people.

 

As for getting back together, it sounds like he is very far gone. While he might miss you with NC, it doesnt appear that it would be enough to send him running back to you in your arms.

 

While you are trying not to be hopeful, re-read your post. He didnt love you the same way you loved him...........one sided love doesnt work.

[Puckdog27]

Most of our freinds are part of the same large circle, but I am beginning to realize they are more his friends since they are from his work. We all do lots of activities together- how can I still retain friendships and do NC. I think I have to suck it up and enjoy my friendships even if he is part of the group no matter how painful it is.

 

I think its best to explain to the friends that you are not mad or bitter towards him, but you need sometime to heal and that you would appreciate if they can give you a heads up if he is going to be around. Do not try to put them in the middle, my last gf did that and she ended up being highly resented by our shared friends, all of which we made together when we moved to Florida.

 

Dont make it about him, make it about you needing a little time.

 

Has anyone gotten back together with an ex who broke it off like mine and was in the same friend situation? I dont know the best way to approach it, without making myself unjustly hopeful or out of my mind. I also want him to miss me, wouldn't no contact be the best way?

 

The best way is to respect his decision and give him time, but all the while accepting the fact that this is over.

[Brig]

Well to answer one of your questions, yes I've had ex's that have came back after they realized what theyvegd. And I've also been an ex that has came back after leaving someone after realizing what I did. I wouldn't advise counting on it though, Just because there's too much of a chance they might not come back and I think it would inhibit your grieving process to get over it. The best (and probably least desireable) advice would probably trying to focus on being ok with or without him and if he comes back great. In practice its pretty difficult for I'm in the same situation as you right now and I can barely function.

Emotions are very hard to battle. My heart goes out to you.

[thankyou]

As far as just the "no contact- best way to make him miss me?" question, I think for sure that's the best way. Cutting him off like he cut you off- and who knows, maybe he will start really missing you, or maybe not

 

Only time will tell. I'm so sorry, but being independent is not a bad thing! best thing you can do to start accepting it is going out and meeting new people to get your mind off of it and maybe meet someone else !

[KG]

He broke it off, so it's up to you to keep no contact. Spare yourself the pain of trying to get him back.