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Still dealing with aftermath of abusive relationship


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I was in a extremely abusive relationship with an alcoholic partner for about 3 years mentally and then finally physicality. It ended going on a little over a year ago now.


I took a few months after we went our septate ways to just get myself back on my feet. I then met a decent guy and now over a year later were still together and for the most part happy. I can truly see myself with this person for the long run.


How ever I still can't help but feel I have mental issues from the past is that normal? should I seek help for it you think or will it fade away in time? I know I should just let the past go but some times it creeps back into my mind. Ive even had dreams recently about this person and his family who also were not a good influence on me.



I just want some feedback on my situation from long term survivors of abuse dose it get easer to forget/trust again as time goes on? will I need to seek help you think? Thanks in advance.

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Hi there


I have been in some bad relationships, though I wouldn't call them abusive as such. It will take you time for your mind to be clearer of these horrible memories. Your brain seems to need to run through bad things in order to accept them, as horrible as it is, and a year after a break-up is still a time when you can have bad thoughts and bad dreams.


I still have bad dreams now about my first love, though its not very often, because he really hurt me and cheated and it really affected me badly for a long time.


Just keep going, its lovely you have a nice partner now to help you through. You could write things down to get them out of your mind or go and speak to someone about them just to clear your head?

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I just wanted to say that it is definitely normal and some feelings will probably stay with you for a long time.. maybe never go away. I left a toxic relationship with my ex-fiance as well in January 2009 and even though I'm with someone new and planning a future, I still have fears and mental/emotional things that I have difficulty dealing with. I always fear my current will treat me like my ex and I will be unhappy, trapped and sick again. But I fight through it as best I can and luckily my partner is very supportive and does his best to help me through it. Also, if your partner does anything even 5% that reminds me of what my ex would do/say/act, I FREAK.. It causes me great anxiety like OMG is he like him? It's really difficult... Just stay positive and always look out for YOU.

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