ex being childing and ignoring me when there is stuff to discuss

[ledi]

My ex and me and had argument over the phone, i got emotional I admit, but he was being extremely difficult on purpose and dominating the conversation with irrelevent facts and conveniently ignoring an important thing we were supposed to talk about, he was being sarcastic and condesending and just a pain in the a** so i got emotional and told him where to go.

 

I think I really hurt his feelings and he is now ignoring me, phone calls, emails, texts, he is downright ignoring me. The problem is we have stuff to deal with, paid for events that we booked together and i have the tickets for and he still owes me the money to... etc. I'm stuck with these tickets and i'm out of pocket. Inviting someone else to the event isn't an option so i'm totally stuck?

 

I don't want to press him by constant phoning and texting, because i've been there with an ex and his incessant phoning and it's horrible (although he was doing that out of obsession) so what should I do? just leave him alone and just let this go? ](*,) ugh, older men can be so childish....

[nanana]

I had the same problem with my ex; he completely ignored me when I needed to sort out getting my stuff back and gig tickets that we'd booked together.

 

In the end, I figured maybe it was worth giving up this stuff just so I don't have to press him too much and keep feeling rejection and hurt.

 

However, four months later after NC he pops up offering to give it all back!

 

So, is it something you could sort out a few months later? He might be more willing when he's out of this bitter, sarcastic phase...

[BriarRose]

You will never see the money again. Just try to let it go.

[DN]

When you want something from someone it is usually counter-productive to engage in an emotional argument even if they start it.

[lavenderdove]

Old expression: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!

 

Sadly, when you break up, you lose a lot of leverage with your ex. They aren't invested in you anymore, and if you come at them with guns blazing and then demand money from them, they'll balk.

 

It doesn't mean he's not a jerk (he may well be), but if your goal is the money, then it would be more productive to call him and tell him very nicely that you would really appreciate it if he paid you for his half of the tickets (or for both and you'll send them to him) since you really need the money right now.

 

He may or may not oblige. But it is very common to never see the money again if you break up with someone. They just aren't interested in pleasing you anymore, and may be angry/resentful and hence not do the right thing and pay up. So you just have to write off the loss.

[ledi]

i've not been going at him "guns blazing" i have been very straightforward nice and apologized about my behavoir, but then kindly asked if we can discuss to situation with the tickets and the money. This isn't as easy for me to let go as I can hardly afforf to buy food due to buying these tickets, and he promised me the money back and he knows the sacrifice i have made for them.

[DN]

Yes, I get that but you did say you got emotional and although that is understandable it won't serve you.

[catfeeder]

If the tickets are non-returnable, post them on Craig's list or somewhere else to sell them.

 

Your problem now is one of finances and money--and not about the ex. He's not going to cooperate, so leave him alone and move forward with your life. If you're unable to invite someone else to enjoy your tickets with you, either go alone or sell them, but skip making this about the ex. That's not to benefit him, it's to benefit you. You can start moving forward with your own life TODAY, ticket or no tickets.

[duchesstigerlily]

Sorry, can't say that I really agree with a lot of these responses. It seems to me, having read the OP's initial post clearly, that her ex was purposely avoiding topics that they were supposed to be talking about and resolving and on top of it, was being a bit of a jerk. I don't blame you at all for being emotional and to be honest, I doubt if you had kissed his butt, despite his abuse, that you would have gotten your money. It seems like he simply doesn't want to pay so you may have to resign yourself to the fact that you are out the money and deal with it the best way you can whether that means you sell the tickets or eat the cost of them.

[lavenderdove]

Nobody is blaming her for being emotional, they're just saying, that if what she really wants is the money, she needs to try to factor out the emotion and just do what will best get her the money.

 

I see so many cases on this board where people use 'stuff' and money connections as excuses to continue to interact with an ex who is recalcitrant or not interested in resolving anything or interacting with them. They just work themselves up and it goes nowhere, so she is better off asking nicely and seeing if he'll go for it, and if not, just trying to sell the tickets to someone else or ask someone else to go and perhaps pay for the ticket.

[catfeeder]

Sorry, can't say that I really agree with a lot of these responses. It seems to me, having read the OP's initial post clearly, that her ex was purposely avoiding topics that they were supposed to be talking about and resolving and on top of it, was being a bit of a jerk. I don't blame you at all for being emotional and to be honest, I doubt if you had kissed his butt, despite his abuse, that you would have gotten your money. It seems like he simply doesn't want to pay so you may have to resign yourself to the fact that you are out the money and deal with it the best way you can whether that means you sell the tickets or eat the cost of them.

 

Hah! You can't agree with us, but you're saying the exact same thing.