my situation

[Baurman]

i went NC with my ex for a month when she said she would call me... but during that month i have been getting over her and have convinced myself that i've moved on. So my ex texts me after a month "Hello...." and I didn't respond. Then she calls me up a few hours later and I missed her call. Then she texts me "If you don't want to talk, then we don't have to, ok?" but then stupid me had called her and she picked up instantly. She was trying to play catch up and asked how I was doing and then she tells me "I have a positive energy around me now.. I am just so happy that I'm single" which hurt.

 

She then told me that she was going on a trip the next day and instead of showing any care about it, I just said "Oh cool! Hope you have fun" and that was it. Maybe she is expecting me to call/txt her during her trip, but I am not.. so maybe that will make her wonder. Since I'm now back to not contacting her, I would like to know if I am in control right now? I stopped calling her/texting her for a month and now she texted/called me because that's what she promised she would do "call you in a month..." and that call could've been avoided. I really regret answering the call because I just got rejected again and finding out things about her that gets my emotions involved.

 

How do I make it clear that I don't want to be her security blanket and think that she can just have me whenever she chooses to be back in my life? She tells me that she just wants to enjoy the single life and not deal with "stupid boys and stupid relationships" right now. But I think it's bad for me because as long as she is in my life, I won't be able to move on. I'm trying to get to the level where I can see her with another guy and not even have a care in the world. She says she wants to be friends but I think that's only so she doesn't get a chance to miss me, and keep me there to boost her ego.

[greywolf]

I think that if you are wondering whether you have the control right now, that you probably don't. In fact, you will never have control of anything except for yourself.

 

You can make it clear to her that you don't want to be her security blanket, by not being her security blanket.