I hate that my Father keeps appearing in my dreams

[Pall Wall]

He left my mom a few years ago, and I talk to him like once or twice a year and all. I had lunch with him one day a few months back. I know he'd like to me to meet his...new wife..that he left my mom for and meet his wife's daughter who is tecnically my stepsister. I'm fine with just a one on one get together of just me an my dad, but I piss on the idea of meeting this other family. I'm not a f***ing kid, it's my choice not to.

 

Sorry, just needed to let that out. But almost every night he appears in my dreamland in my sleep. And I feel uncomfortable of him being there. Sometimes it's a dream of him and my mom back together and I don't like the feeling, I've been happier having them apart, and they are better off apart. They both in fact have been better apart. In the dream I hate the old feeling of the past, of him coming back, and when I wake up it's relief, but it's getting on my f***ing nerves that keeps popping up in my head like that. These dreams have been happening for a while, even before I reconciled with him a while ago, and after.

 

Not only that, I have a mental routine before I go to sleep, where I am able to perform an mental excircise that keeps dreams I don't want to dream about from happening, and it's worked for years. But now even that is not working. I just want to scream at him "GET THE F*** OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"

[Blackey]

Im not a psychiatrist, but usually these type of recurring dreams means that there is an unsolved issue in your unconciousness.

Perhaps deep inside you are still very pissed at your dad for leaving you and your mom and did not really get over it.

Maybe you do need to see your father and hold nothing back when telling him exactly how you feel about it, with every word you find appropriate.

As i said it is just an oppinion, but generally speaking reccuring dreams are the way of your unconciousness to say that some issues are yet to be resolved.

You can make a much more clear sense of it if you turn to a professional help rather than trying to repress these dreams, it might help you a lot.

[luminousone]

Wow, what do you think that dream means??

 

Okay, I am someone whose husband left me after 22 years together for another woman. And I have 2 sons.

 

I truly understand and appreciate how you do not agree with what your dad did to your mom. Obviously you believe marriage vows should be honored...

 

But, I have tried very hard to keep my sons out of the middle. Granted, they are not adults yet (14 and 10) but I do believe that divorce is hard even on adult children as well.

 

So they are oblivious as to the rotten things my ex has done (although the 14 year old is pretty perceptive).

 

I was going to tell you to try to program your dreams, but apparently you have already been doing that. So, my advice would be to simply go with the flow. If you resist it, it has not helped. So what if you tried accepting that as a recurring dream you have, and acknowledge that it is only a dream, and let it be there...

 

In the meantime, I keep wondering how things would be if you thought your dad only had a few months left on this earth. Would you try to reconciliate with him more???

 

Just a thought...