What's wrong with me??

[-Sanguine-]

I feel really unmotivated to do anything, yet I feel so unfulfilled in my life. Like there is something missing.

 

I had an epiphany today, about why I depend so much on my boyfriend. I knew it all along, but it really sunk in today. It's cause I don't have anything else. I am desperate for a life, something more, yet I have absolutely no motivation to go for it. For some reason staying at home watching TV shows online and pitying myself seems more exciting to me.

 

I am an optimist! Why am I stuck in this rut?? I just want to get out and make friends (something I've struggled with) or have some kind of activities. I could even start doing my own freelance design or keep building up my portfolio but I am lacking that little effort to start anything! What is wrong with me?

[Kinkz]

You already know what is wrong. Your bf has become so important to you that everything starts and ends with him. Its only now you're realising there is more to life than just him and this thought has made you go into a subtke shock. Thats why you feel like you are stuck and unable to move.

[Mercurial Girl]

For me, it's a cycle that i get caught up in. I'm unmotivated to go out and do something, but then I become down, depressed (depressed in the least serious sense) and lazy because I'm not stimulating my mind, pushing myself, accomplishing anything, which in turn makes me more down and depressed and lazy and less likely to go out.

 

You really need to push yourself to do things you don't feel like doing right now. Usually at the end of the day, you end up feeling a lot better about deciding to go, even if before you do it its the last thing you want to do. Push and push and push yourself to go out and grab life by the horns. Eventually it becomes something you WANT to do and look forward to.

 

Until then, fake it til you make it!

[-Sanguine-]

You are both very right.

 

 

Ah, I just have to make myself do it. And it's true.. the more I sit around the worse I feel but I still have no motivation so it's really hard. Haha, I'll try to "fake it".

[Celadon]

I can relate (see my thread on "Being a more passionate person" in this section). Someone there advised to take small steps. I think it's excellent advice.

 

IF you want to put your energy into something big, you could start by surrounding yourself with inspiration. Read about the field you want to get into or about people who are successful in the field. How did they get there? Can you see yourself doing the same thing? can you "catch" their enthusiasm?

 

I watch plenty of trash TV. But I'm trying to make just a little time on some nights to do something easyish related to my goal. In your case, maybe it's taking a fun class where you could meet some people, like a group exercise class (zumba, boot camp, etc.)

 

I don't quite know yet how I"m going to start pursuing my passion, but I'm hopeful that I can surround myself with knowledge and inspiration and that will help put me more in touch with my goals and give me momentum. There are books, btw, about nurturing your artistic skills/creativity. They talk about holding on to it as you go through your day and week. Always keep it somewhere in the back of your mind.

 

HOpe that helps. There are others of us in the same boat, rest assured.