Anyone who falls in in love really easily?

[chelsea13]

Not exactly falling in love, but more like, liking someone really easily - at this age I can't tell between love and like and lust, especially for someone who's only had one short term boyfriend.

 

Basically I like someone really easily, this can be from initial attraction or as I know someone. For the former, it's usually because of the person's charm and/or good looks. For the latter, I can be unattracted to the person at first (but doesn't mean that I find him unattractive.. for those I find unattractive, it will never work out) but then as I know him and hang out with him (as friends) for a couple more days, I start to develop special feelings for him.

 

In hindsight, I fall in and out of love, very easily. Which usually leads to disappointments because I'm nothing but friends to these guys.

 

My sister flirts with a lot of guys but she doesn't fall for them. Me, on the other hand, is horrible at flirting but I always secretly lust after guys.

[bluecarrot]

I have this problem...i thought it would go away when i grew up but still, even now all a guy has to go is smile at me and im head over heels for the rest of the day...it usually goes away pretty quickly, especially now that i have a long-term boyfriend.

Anyway, i dont think theres anything wrong with this. Its normal to be attracted to lots of different people when you're young, and lots of people are terrible at flirting. (myself included.) As long as you think clearly when you first begin a relationship and dont fall in love TOO fast and set yourself up to be hurt, you should be fine.

[chelsea13]

It's bad when I fall for some guy I just know and turns out he's into my close friend... ooops

[Felicity02]

It sounds like you get overwhelmed when meeting a new guy. Initially, you find him exciting and new or you barely notice anything special about him. Then if you let your guard down and get to know the guy, you realize that you may actually see yourself with him. I get this way too. My mind is biased sometimes, and I think only certain types of people (personalities, attractive physical appearance) work with me.

 

Before you go into a social situtation again, try to clear your mind so you are calm and collective. Observe first then engage in converstations with other guys. Yes, some may be physically attractive but steer clear of those types first, and look for conversation.

 

To me, lust is at first sight (we're only human), then love builds gradually over time when both parties realize they have deep feelings for each other.

[Lamour detruit]

Usually this happens to people who are in need of attention, and are not secure with themselves at all. Once you see someone you like, and you even think he could be possibly be interested in you, you start to put all your hopes into it because you want to be liked. Be a little more confident, don't fall for just any random guy so easily, and it will probably be better for you.

[Skeptic76]

Easier said than done, lol. I am the male counterpart to the OP. But I do agree with previous poster's suggestion.....

[Mike88]

Usually this happens to people who are in need of attention, and are not secure with themselves at all. Once you see someone you like, and you even think he could be possibly be interested in you, you start to put all your hopes into it because you want to be liked. Be a little more confident, don't fall for just any random guy so easily, and it will probably be better for you.

 

I don't think its a problem of insecurity. I don't think people understand what insecurity is when they say it, and its just an excuse more than anything. It shouldn't ever be used without a proper explanation of what is meant since its a very general term. Anyways, I think its a problem with not opening yourself up to many opportunities to interact with more men and achieve variety (where then you can develop a preference of men). A lack of social interaction, and I don't mean school or work where people are distracted by more important matters. I mean parties, clubs, bars.. ect. When a guy comes around that one of your friends has introduced, it becomes a rarity and your attachment is a result of not having more "new guys" around your lifestyle. Just my opinion from experience.

[chelsea13]

I don't think its a problem of insecurity. I don't think people understand what insecurity is when they say it, and its just an excuse more than anything. It shouldn't ever be used without a proper explanation of what is meant since its a very general term. Anyways, I think its a problem with not opening yourself up to many opportunities to interact with more men and achieve variety (where then you can develop a preference of men). A lack of social interaction, and I don't mean school or work where people are distracted by more important matters. I mean parties, clubs, bars.. ect. When a guy comes around that one of your friends has introduced, it becomes a rarity and your attachment is a result of not having more "new guys" around your lifestyle. Just my opinion from experience.

 

You are quite right there. Yes, my past interaction with guys have been quite minimal (excluding university, like you mentioned), therefore, you're right, once a guy gets introduced to me, which is a rarity, I get attached especially if I find him attractive. Oh yes.. what I will do now is just be casual and meet different people, boys and girls, and just talk to whoever without expecting anything. Just have fun right.

[Mike88]

You are quite right there. Yes, my past interaction with guys have been quite minimal (excluding university, like you mentioned), therefore, you're right, once a guy gets introduced to me, which is a rarity, I get attached especially if I find him attractive. Oh yes.. what I will do now is just be casual and meet different people, boys and girls, and just talk to whoever without expecting anything. Just have fun right.

 

I'm glad that helped, and I hope you the best with changing it. I think a lot of people have a problem with this, and I think its quite natural. Its my problem at times, and its because I hangout with a group of friends in less crowded settings where I'm usually not hunting for new people to meet or don't have an opportunity to do so. On a regular enough basis I don't put myself in neutral situations where there are a lot of girls to meet. If I did:

1. There would be a lot more filtering.

2. I would approach more women with that nothing to lose attitude. (Just to have a conversation with someone)

3. I would have a better chance at finding a better someone that I'm compatible with. Over going for the first person thrown in front of me.

4. I think it would just be a "healthier" way to be socially and would learn more from it.

 

Edit: My problem is, to do this, I need friends that actually like going to the places to do this at! I ain't going alone! (Unless its like the school library or something.)

[LightbulbSun]

Oh yes, I crush really easily. And then I get crushed, when the person doesn't like me back.

 

I wouldn't call it love, because in order to be 'in love', you have to have had the other person liking you back. So I've never been in love...it's probably just been puppy love.

[chelsea13]

Yup definitely, I have a guy friend who has minimal social life and is basically still hung up about this girl who keeps rejecting him from time to time, yet they still hang out. If he has a broader social network then he would at least be less hung up about one girl. He's at this point where he doesn't believe that he will find anyone better than her, yet he refuses to broaden his social network by going out more, despite my continuous persuasion.

 

But anyway, I see a bit of me in him, I may have fallen for different guys all the time but it turns out that they're all the same type of person: people I've met for only awhile, pretty face, etc.

 

So my goal now is to just go out and have conversations with different guys and girls and just well, have a good time. For now I will try hard to not think about dating because I have internal issues to sort out first. That is, I need to learn to love myself more. It's hard because at the end of the day this dating thing is still implanted at the back of my head but I'm taking the initiative now... at least meet more people so I won't be attached to a random rarity, lol!

[chelsea13]

Oh yes, I crush really easily. And then I get crushed, when the person doesn't like me back.

 

I wouldn't call it love, because in order to be 'in love', you have to have had the other person liking you back. So I've never been in love...it's probably just been puppy love.

 

Me too, haha, but it will come, eventually. I've learnt to relax and be myself.

[pinkelephant]

I do that! Not "in love", but infatuated. It's neither out of insecurity or lack of guys... I fall quickly, but selectively. I've "fallen" for 3 guys in the past 3 years. I certainly have met many many guys between then... and have had many 'lost puppies' followed me during that time. But I liked these guys pretty much as soon as I met them.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think it's just getting ahead of yourself. You meet a guy who seems wonderful but you forget that you've only been talking for 30 minutes. You're too busy thinking about the wedding and how handsome your kids would be to keep things in perspective.