Nearly 15 and Nearly 18.... A little help please!

[fluro]

Met this girl, she's hot, very intelligent, mature, blah blah blah. This isn't about the law. It's about culture- my mates will hastle the hell out of me, but I don't want to give her up for such a stupid reason. She is my little brothers age and (15 in november) and i am 18 in january.

- How do I tell my parents? they are very old fassioned in this area. Should I just tell them to get over it?

- What about her parents?

- How will it effect her?

- Should I keep it secret then? I dont want to, she's great fun and I think would get on well with my family and friends. I hate the idea of it being secret but then the harrasment from peers may be too much.

[Alec]

Hmm interesting i've been in this situation once before. My response was giving up on her because she was too young/long distance. But in your case if you feel she is geniunely mature when it comes to relationships then persue it, i'm hoping that the age gap is freshman/senior not freshman in high school/freshman in college. That could get you into much more trouble than I think you would want. But it's up to you man. If your friends are your friends they won't abandon you over this, maybe hastle you a bit but it's all in good humor.

[fluro]

we're both at school- and next year when I go to uni I will still be living at home- Auckland University isn't that far from my house. It's not long distance either.

[Sebulous]

I can be of great assistance here Fluro. I just got out of a relationship with similar age gap.

 

I did know her and her family for 3 years. Rumor got out that we made out. which we didn't. However, that rumor caused us to get together. Only time a rumor caused good. I just balls out asked her mom after a while of dating, what she thought of us dating. (fathers just shoot anyone that ask his little princess out =P ). She said it was ok. (she herself was 22 when she married someone else that was 34. she knew what it was like for age gaps)

 

I didn't tell my parents until we had been out. They flipped and forbid me and her from dating. Only cause of age. We still did it anyways for like 3 months.

 

One day we got caught sneaking off and our relationship has trickeled down to a friends with benefits.

 

Get to know her parents real well. It might be kinda hard to meet her parents and make a good impression with your situation. going over to her house might just make them think you are dating her. Perhaps encounter a run in at a resteraunt? Be a gentleman and be polite.

 

I won't tell you if ya should or shouldn't tell parents. Its your call. at 1st we didn't. got found out and then she approved. then my parents said no. but her parents snuck me around. then after that incident, we just came to a halt.

[fluro]

Thanks for your help, how did your friends react to it? Did your parents not approving put strain on it?

[ComputerGuy]

I wouldn't worry too much about the age thing. My g/f and I have the same age gap (i'm 19 turning 20 in November shes 16 in about a week). Her parents and family learnt to accept me as part of the family over time. It's an extra hurdle to get over, but get involved with her family, that way they will get to know you as well, that's what I did.

 

As for your family, just outright tell them. They may/may not get shitty, if they do, tell them it's your decision. My parents didn't have a problem with it.

 

As for your friends, they will give you sh*t about it, but don't worry, I still cop cradle snatcher jokes from both her and my friends, but it's all in good fun.

 

Also, in my situation, we are currently in a long distance relationship as well, so if this can work with both the 2500 miles of seperation and the age gap, than yours should work out no problem