trust issues when it comes to men/dating

[coolgirl]

I have been divorced for about over a year and a half now I have no kids and single and back living with my parents. I sometimes wonder for how long I'm going to stay single. And this has crossed my mind a whole lot. For some people it might take them a month or two just to start the whole dating process again but luckily I haven't had any luck after a year and a half. And cant seem to understand the reason why. I have tried casual dating after my divorce but seems to me that i tend to push men away for some reason. I have a hard time opening up, I have a hard time trusting when it comes to men, and importantly I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

 

I am a senstive person and thats something that cannot be changed over night. I've had this kind of personality in me sense I was little. Even my family knows that. I dont believe in love anymore, I dont believe in true love or soulmate and sure dont believe in marriage anymore. I just want to find someone that wants the same thing I do and I think thats hard to find these days. There are some men out there that want to have the whole 9 yards when it comes to future and family. I just dont see that within me anymore. My family thinks that someday I will get remarried but I dont see that.

 

I completley freak out. And ususally when I do talk to men about a day or two and I'm the one that ususally bails. And not so proud of doing it either. I think this is some form of way of god saying it dont want me to be happy anymore. I'm not going to deny that I have trust issues because I do. I guess what I'm saying is when will this get better ? I am in/ out of thearpy but its going to be a long road ahead of me. Does it ever get better ? And when ? I want to be in a open relationship and not having to committ to anyone or having the talk were the relationship is going, or is there or wont there be a future involved. I dont want to be able to have these kinds of talks if I do or dont find someone. It just gets lonely sometimes. Help

[robot20]

I feel the same way about girls.. I was never married though just in a long term relationship and it felt like we were married sometimes.

 

Maybe you just need to be by yourself for a little while and get to know the single life and be happy being single. Hard to me to say that cause I hate being single or even dating. After what happened with me I'm afraid to get hurt again too.

[pumpkinmoon]

Putting your fears aside for a second, and looking deep within yourself, what do you want in the future?

[coolgirl]

I feel the same way about girls.. I was never married though just in a long term relationship and it felt like we were married sometimes.

 

Maybe you just need to be by yourself for a little while and get to know the single life and be happy being single. Hard to me to say that cause I hate being single or even dating. After what happened with me I'm afraid to get hurt again too.

 

 

And I thought I was the only one going through this When you say little while but for how long ? It gets lonely being alone.

[coolgirl]

Putting your fears aside for a second, and looking deep within yourself, what do you want in the future?

 

I'm not so interested into knowing what my future holds for me at this point. I dont even want to know. And could care less about what my future holds for me at this point. My parents think that they see me getting remarried again when I dont see marriage or a future anymore.

[robot20]

And I thought I was the only one going through this When you say little while but for how long ? It gets lonely being alone.

 

Well that all depends. But I completely understand about being lonely. You have to hang out with friends, you dont have to date anyone or try and connect with other guys. Just hang out with some girl friends, ya know?

[coolgirl]

Well that all depends. But I completely understand about being lonely. You have to hang out with friends, you dont have to date anyone or try and connect with other guys. Just hang out with some girl friends, ya know?

 

Well, I have my online friends but there far away. So I dont have any friends here. I know pathetic as it sounds.

[stormie]

I have that problem as well - can't trust men after my husband of ten years suddenly left me...

 

I'am trying link removed. The site is good for friends and going out.

[Stay_home]

I think if any of us know what's good for us we oughta have trust issues when it comes to dealing with people. Otherwise, we'd constantly get ourselves hurt everytime. Somehow or another, we've got to learn to take the bad experiences absorb the lesson and discard the rest.

[pumpkinmoon]

I'm not so interested into knowing what my future holds for me at this point. I dont even want to know. And could care less about what my future holds for me at this point. My parents think that they see me getting remarried again when I dont see marriage or a future anymore.

 

I didn't mean wondering about what the future holds for you. I meant what do you want ultimately? Do you want a loving relationship in the future? Do you want to be married again? Do you want to stay single?

[coolgirl]

I didn't mean wondering about what the future holds for you. I meant what do you want ultimately? Do you want a loving relationship in the future? Do you want to be married again? Do you want to stay single?

 

I know that I dont want marriage anymore, I know that I dont want children at all. I want a relationship knowing that its not going to lead to anything else and nothing more. And its kinda hard trying to find a person that wants the same thing. Like I said I do have trust issues when it comes to men/dating.

[beerman]

I have been divorced over three years now and am just beginning to really enjoy life again. It took me a while to regain my confidence after my wife of 15 years cheated on me. The best thing I did was to stop focusing on the fact that I was somewhat alone and feeling like I needed someone in my life to make me happy. I started focusing on myself, doing things I wanted, lost a bunch of weight, took up new hobbies and slowly I started having a lot of fun.

 

Funny thing happened after all that, I really started enjoying life. Next thing you know, I am dating again. While I am not really in a relationship at this time, I am dating a couple gals and having a lot of fun.

 

My advice - find something you enjoy doing and go do it. Don't worry about relationships or dating or whatever. I think once you can do that, your trust factor will slowly return with us guys. Go make yourself happy!!!