LDR gf found someone else

[lovethyself]

Long story short..For the past year I have been in a long distance relationship with this girl who lives on the west coast (me in the south)...while we "technically" were never together, we talked every day and night and were deeply in love with each other..unfortunately we were only able to see each other ONE time this yr as opposed to the 3-4 times we had planned. The reason we were never a "together" is because there was no way we could make that big of a commitment with only seeing eachother ONE time in life..i guess you could say we were a couple without the title..several times though she had wanted to take breaks to think about things and see if she really wanted to continue having a ldr..realistically the only way we could have worked out is if she decided to move down with me which she was REALLY close to doing..the reason of the breaks I believe is because she is young (20) and has NEVER had a bf..she is def a free spirit and has told me that everytime things get serious she gets cold feet and realizes how young she is and doesn't want to get tied down. It goes deeper than that though, her mother just recently seperated from her step dad and is out dating guys and trying to relive her 20's and my girl doesn't want to end up like her..everytime we took a break though she would always come back and say she really loved me and wants to be with me..being older and more mature, I realize that this girl is young and complex and simply does not know what she wants in life..which is understandable..she knows she loves me deeply but I live far away and nothing realistically can happen unless SHE moves..moving away for someone whom you've only met once is just too overwhelming. A few months ago I decided to emotionally detach myself because the breaks she kept wanting to take drove me crazy..i explained to her that we should each do our own thing and still talk if we wanted to..well we did our own thing and still talked everyday and night..On my end I was able to go out and meet girls and have fun but never let anything get too serious, and i stupidly expected her to do the same thing.

 

Well with time she has met someone else who lives near her and it breaks my heart..when i confronted her about it she said that she was too lonely and that I seemed ok with the way things were going but she wasnt..she said she's sorry she couldn't be stronger but doing the telephone thing wasn't enough for her..she never meant to meet anyone it just happened. The funny thing is the new guy just enlisted in the army and is going away for 3 months then is going out of the country so its going to be the SAME THING..I hope that this is just new for her and she has butterflies that would soon fade away...everyday she used to tell me how much she loved me and respected me for having a plan in life and getting my degree,and how she loved how i put my family first, and we even talked about our futures together..her best friend would tell her that we were soulmates and she loved that..I had been there for her when she was going through some tough times (got kicked out from home, friends were fake, she felt alone, money problems) and now that she has her life back together it's kind of like she's moving on..a few days ago she txtd me that she hopes im enjoying my vacation and wishes she could be there with me (this was after we broke it off for good)..i really love this girl to death but her personality (COMPLEX to the core) of loving the sun one day and loving the moon the next can drive me crazy..does anyone think I still have a chance or has this new guy came in and replaced me? She has a better chance of seeing him more than she does me...not to be mean but while he looks like her type physically, I believe that's all he has to offer. She is very intelligent and hard working which is why we get along so great..im hoping he filled the void she needed at this time with his physical presence (hanging out, going out, sex) but with time hopefully the butterflies fade and she will want me in the end..any thoughts?

[Puckdog27]

You cant expect to have a chance with someone you cant even be with. She couldnt be expected to have a relationship with the phone.

[LonelyJedi]

I agree with Puckdog. A romantic relationship will not work over-the-phone/computer basis. When it comes to the physical aspect of the relationship, such as she needs someone to hug, kiss, cuddle with, etc. You are not there to give her that emotional need, like you said with this new guy's physical presence.

 

 

Now, there may still be a chance that she will stray back to you. As for now, I would advise just playing it cool. There is still hope yet, but lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed if she doesn't come back to you.

[wildestkabs]

I agree with everyone above. My situation was similar to you. The only way you have a shot of getting back together is if you eliminate the problem that got you to where you are - the distance.

 

Unless one party moves closer to the other party, I'd say forget a reconciliation.