Ready to Give Up Now

[jbrooklyn]

the time comes when you just have to accept what is going to happen. It is hard but you just have to after you have tried everything.

My ex told me he is good being just friends. I text him saying

 

Thought about it. We can be just friends if that is what you want. Im still here for you (inserted his whole name) & I respect you. I always will. Have a good day.

 

He responded.. ok

 

So that is all left to do. Im not going to force reconcillation or friendship. I have been trying to work this out for so long. He has been nice and all but I feel like I was wanting to see him more and stuff so I just came out and asked him for another chance and he said he is good being just friends. Im no longer going to fight for it anymore. its so hard to let go someone you love and want to spend your life with. But what can you do.

 

white towel!!

[TearsofFate]

Aw, I had to go through this like..7 months ago.

 

It helps if you don't talk to them for a few months and date someone new once your ready. Then once you are dating again, or feeling better, talk to them again and it's much easier to be friends.

 

I agreed to be my ex's friend 7 months ago because he was really nice to me and everything. I told him, I needed a break though, and that I'd talk to him in a bit. We said our goodbyes in a cheerful way I guess. It's been 7 months...and I have no desire to really be his friend anymore at this point and I am over him 80%. I don't hate him. I just feel so at peace and calm...and happy even, that I just don't really want anything dramatic in my life.

 

Maybe I'll talk to him in a few years. I don't know. It hardly matters anymore. I'm at the point where if he had a girlfriend, I'd simply say "Way to go dude!" seriously..

 

Best of luck to you. It does get better. Don't hang on to friends if you are not ready yet. If you need time away, let him know and be on your way then talk to him when you feel better.

[TearsofFate]

Oh forgot to mention. Once it took me 3 years to get over an ex because I didn't let go. I tried to stay friends..

 

So, just take into consideration your happiness, and what you can tolerate. Don't be afraid to let him go for a while, while you heal.

 

*hugs* n_n Hope you feel better soon!

[jimmajam]

 

Best of luck to you. It does get better. Don't hang on to friends if you are not ready yet. If you need time away, let him know and be on your way then talk to him when you feel better.

 

This is why I don't think it's even worth telling them you want to be friends. By the time you heal from the hurt, your opinion changes of them and you are really indifferent if you even want to be friends or stay in contact. With all the time apart, it just doesn't really matter anymore. Just move on and if they want something you'll hear from them and then you can decide on an even level if you want any type of relationship.

[jbrooklyn]

Well this is all I have left. I still love him so much and I really wish we could be together. I just have to move on regardless now.

[FootofGod]

I *wish* that I could be my ex's friend, but even if I had a significant other, I know there are strong feelings there, even if I flushed them out off the surface, there's deep things in there than only need triggers to be refired... and, with that said, being friends with an ex is like going to the gun range, especially if you're the dumpee.

 

I'm not going to make the same mistake she made - she had a crush on a guy who was a friend and what did she do? FED the damn fire, like she always does! When you know something's going on with you, you have to take control of it, not just be at the whim of your emotions. Just like with one of her last boyfriends, she left someone else for him, albeit the first guy was a piece of crap and she should have just left him anyway. New guy turned out to suck, too, but at the time she was like "I can't believe that I ended up with him after wanting him for over two years!" It's like, really? You're an attractive, smart female and you can't believe that you ended up with a guy that you constantly flirted with and obviously liked a lot for two years? WOW, yeah, MUST be fate there! And, hey, look! It freaking happened again, what a coincidence!!

 

That sort of thing doesn't really happen when you're the dumpee, though. That's one of those positions where you can't make something happen like that due to the emotions and scars of the breakup on both side. Hence why it is strongly suggested that you totally move on before you seriously think of getting back together.

[jbrooklyn]

Well we talked again. I just laid all the cards on the table. He told me that he didnt want to get back together cause so much bull has happen and it has turned him off. He wasnt mean or anything. He is the one who actually called me today. He is very sweet when he wants to be.

 

I have to move on. I told him I never going to stop wanting him. I am going to give him his space cause I cant change him. I will just be his friend. So it is all out there how I feel and what I want. There is no secrets.

 

So Im gonna let it be now and hope one day he reaches out to me. I love him.

[lostnscared]

Well we talked again. I just laid all the cards on the table. He told me that he didnt want to get back together cause so much bull has happen and it has turned him off. He wasnt mean or anything. He is the one who actually called me today. He is very sweet when he wants to be.

 

I have to move on. I told him I never going to stop wanting him. I am going to give him his space cause I cant change him. I will just be his friend. So it is all out there how I feel and what I want. There is no secrets.

 

So Im gonna let it be now and hope one day he reaches out to me. I love him.

 

Sorry. I hope everything works out the way you want it too. It sucks when we want one thing and the other person wants nothing to do with it.

 

Yesterday when my boyfriend told me he wanted a break and that there MAYBE a chance that we'll try again once we both individually get ourselves together, I asked him if we could keep in touch every few weeks. He said no. I asked him if we could be friends in the future--he said no. Either we get back together(if we both decide it's for the best, down the road) or we don't get back together and never stay in contact.

 

I felt bad because say 6 months down the road, we both have gotten ourselves together but don't want to get in a relationship again. Well according to him, being friends is out of the question. That hurts because we've been together for almost 7 years. He is my first love. And I know I'm his first love too. And yet he doesn't want to keep in his life as as friend in the future.

 

his response was that it would be too difficult. He wouldn't want to know who I'm dating or anything like that.

 

At least you laid your cards out.

 

And he's been honest too.

 

If I were you--I would fall back for now.

 

Give him some space.

 

I think it's actually better to be his friend once your COMPLETELY over him.

 

Until then the feelings are still gonna be there, and your still going to have that hope that it will work out when in actuality in may not.

 

Good luck.:sad:

[jbrooklyn]

Yeah we pretty much talked all day today. It wasnt planned. He was very upfront with me. I dont always feel like he doesnt care want to be with me anymore. I told him that I dont want anyone else. I just kept it all the way real. I felt like I needed to do that because I didnt want him to think that I am really trying to be his friend. Im really not and it needs to be in the open that if that is what you will allow then fine. I just plan on giving him his space and doing my own thing. He can call me anytime. Im not going to push him away but I doubt I willl sleep with him anymore unless he is mines again.

 

As for your ex. That really sucks that he wants to just go cold turkey like that. Alot of people believe that is the best way to go about it tho. If he is not giving you any choice then all you can do is flow with it. That would drive me crazy. My ex would have to change his number. Cause I would call him eventually. I wouldnt initiate it but if I still loved him, i would be able to resist when he contacted me.

 

I have been trying to get over my ex for a year now and I always want him back. I cant stop wanting him.