peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I am about 8 months out of a 3.5 year relationship and I find myself getting more and more desperate for sex. I don't have anyone I can call up to relieve "the itch" which I guess is what a lot of girls in my situation do. It's getting so bad that I am masturbating for a couple hours a night and having about 5 orgasms a night before I go to bed. Sometimes I use my fingers, sometimes I use a vibe, sometimes I watch porn, sometimes I read erotica etc. But even sometimes after that, I dont feel completely satisfied. I am worried that I will get desperate enough and just try to hook up with a random guy for sex and I don't want to do that. I feel like sometimes when I get very horny, I don't think straight and I just want to be able to satisfy myself enough until I am in a committed relationship. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Ya, if you aren't willing to have casual sex, you're just going to have to try to handle the urges. Sorry you're going through that, hope you can find someone good for you. Link to comment
civilservant Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Are you suggesting that being this randy is abnormal? I think that you're missing something which you used to have on tap, and that's totally normal. I dont think any of us can say how you can satisfy this im afraid... Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Can you be "friends with benefits" with the ex, or did it end badly? Link to comment
civilservant Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Can you be "friends with benefits" with the ex, or did it end badly? Perhaps better to engage in this with someone that you aren't so emotionally tangled if you're going too... Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 My ex started dating a girl 2 days after he broke up with me and he is still with her, so that is really not an option. Link to comment
Godless_Heathen Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 about 5 orgasms a night before I go to bed. Despite common thinking, sometimes I think guys got the short end of the stick in terms of sexual ability. Three in one night is enough to totally wreck me, physically. A single night with 5 is difficult to imagine, let alone night after night. Given the above, I'm assuming what you're missing is something psychological, rather than something physical. Link to comment
boowant Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Despite common thinking, sometimes I think guys got the short end of the stick in terms of sexual ability. Three in one night is enough to totally wreck me, physically. A single night with 5 is difficult to imagine, let alone night after night. Given the above, I'm assuming what you're missing is something psychological, rather than something physical. I dont thik there is anything mentaly wrong w/ this girl she maybe just need some companisonship.. I understand that guys get very tierd if they have lots of orgams cuz alot of the guys do most of the work!!! I can cum about the same as she can by myself 2, when im w/ my b/f i can cum a good 3-4 if we go 30 mins .. But then again im a VERY sexual person! Link to comment
hrtlsngl7 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Do you live anywhere near...... AWWW kidding!!!! Yeah your a girl and you can get it anywhere. But anonymous sex is a slippery slope you don't won't to go down. Too much masturbation is bad too because it will dull regular sex (it's hard to get a woman to climix in the 1st place) So,...sources of sex could be: Exes (who didn't end badly, friends w/ benefits (your male friends), or just find a hot guy and hit on him alot until he caves (we like attention too) Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I dont thik there is anything mentaly wrong w/ this girl she maybe just need some companisonship.. I understand that guys get very tierd if they have lots of orgams cuz alot of the guys do most of the work!!! I can cum about the same as she can by myself 2, when im w/ my b/f i can cum a good 3-4 if we go 30 mins .. But then again im a VERY sexual person! I think thats what he meant. That she needs the psychological connection of a partner, not just the orgasm. As for cumming alot. Its not the work, its the reaction. Girls have different orgasms then guys. My GF can orgasm 4 or 5 times before I do. And 4 or 5 times more when we start up again, and its not unnormal for her to roll off 4 on her own. The reason for this is evolutionary. Sex has one evolutionary purpose.....to create life. A woman's orgasms function to make sex pleasurable so she will want to create life and are also a series of internal contractions meant to help the mans semen into the uterus, this multiple contractions presents greater chances of pulling the semen in. A males orgasm is meant only to deposit said semen, once that package is dropped off, there is nothing more to do. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Well, it may be psychological to some degree, but there IS a physical difference between masturbating and having sex with someone, so it is one just as much as the other. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 5 times in one night. Sounds like you just have a lot of time on your hands. Maybe get another job or something and put a bunch of money away. Learn French or guitar or something, I don't know. I'd wait for a relationship though for what you're missing. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 I'm sure some of it is psychological, but I think a lot of it is physical. I just can't seem to satisfy myself and I think having actual intercourse with a man would help. I guess I'm not against having a FWB situation, but if I were to go that route, I would like it to be someone that I already know and trust. Unfortunately, I dont have anyone like that in my life right now, and I don't want to hookup with some random guy off the street or the internet. Link to comment
obs Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 Despite common thinking, sometimes I think guys got the short end of the stick in terms of sexual ability. Three in one night is enough to totally wreck me, physically. A single night with 5 is difficult to imagine, let alone night after night. Given the above, I'm assuming what you're missing is something psychological, rather than something physical. Damn refractory period! Link to comment
Taikero Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 5 times a night can be done fast or slow depending on your arousal and how fast you make yourself get off. But then, it's harder for a guy to do this than a woman, generally speaking. M&H, I'd stick it out for a good guy if you can, but if not, there's no shame in making a careful choice on a FWB or even a one-time hookup with someone you feel you can trust, as long as you make your intentions and needs clear. Link to comment
scheme00 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 There's a word for this..."Horny." Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 yeah, i can orgasm over and over again every 10-15 minutes if I want. Sometimes I take my time and prolong them because that can be somewhat more satisfying, but I'm not sitting around wasting 5 hours a day watching porn, lol. Link to comment
Taikero Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 yeah, i can orgasm over and over again every 10-15 minutes if I want. Sometimes I take my time and prolong them because that can be somewhat more satisfying, but I'm not sitting around wasting 5 hours a day watching porn, lol. I think as long as it's helping you get off, watching porn is not a waste of time. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 So I guess my only real option is to find a FWB? Link to comment
Taikero Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 So I guess my only real option is to find a FWB? You could do that, or you could continue to masturbate and keep looking for a good guy. You could visit a local sex shop and pick up something new and fun to stimulate you. You could stop masturbating altogether and optionally become a nun. There are options here. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 So I guess my only real option is to find a FWB? No, you have tons of options. One of them is to continue as you are. Who says you need to feel satisfied all the time? Link to comment
Gullible Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 You might find that loneliness is the real underlying issue. For instance, if you meet a guy and have a nice conversation with him, and you feel really good about yourself, then I bet you wouldn't go home and masturbate for 2 hours. Try to self-monitor your behavior patterns. Do you masturbate more if you had a bad day or feel particularly sad or alone? Link to comment
Taikero Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 For instance, if you meet a guy and have a nice conversation with him, and you feel really good about yourself, then I bet you wouldn't go home and masturbate for 2 hours. You're right. She might go home and masturbate for 4 hours in that case. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted June 23, 2010 Author Share Posted June 23, 2010 I guess the issue is that I feel like I'm thinking about sex all the time now and it is starting to get annoying. I really dont want to constantly be thinking about getting off. I feel like if I could just scratch that itch by having sex, I might cool down some. I'm already getting myself off 5x a day so I'm obviously not able to satisfy my urge. I've tried different toys, different porn, nothing seems to work. It's just getting more annoying than anything, honestly. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 I can relate, milkandhoney. Thinking about sex drove me to distraction for years--the only way I can function is to, well, have a lot of it. So I have several FWBs. As much as I enjoy sex, it got to where I started to hate it, because it was keeping me from thinking about anything else. Things are much better for me now. Also, being in a relationship never made it calm down, for me. I was bouncing off the walls regardless of emotional whatever. Link to comment
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