Problem with boyfriend

[mitnord]

I have a serious problem with my new boyfriend, and I'll be very grateful if you give me some advice, because I really really like him, but what I see is that he has some mental problems.

 

I told him that my father abused me physically and emotionally, when I was a child. Now my boyfriend often reminds me of that, he likes to talk about how my father used to beat me, and he even gets erection while talking about that... He also asked many times if he could beat me lightly.

 

I don't know what's his problem. I feel very depressed and crying all the time. Yesterday I left his place with an excuse that I have a lot of homework, but I actually don't feel like seeing him anymore. I'm just afraid if he calls me I'll forgive him.

 

What do I do? Please help me...

[Shwowbow]

You don't answer the phone to this guy, take care of yourself this just does not sound that good to me,

[Sanesoul]

Don't ever speak to him again. Ignore his calls. He's twisted.

[doiiiieeezie]

He's Dunzo... I will actually say block him... GO NC! and move on.

 

The next time, keep your private info to yourself until things are more stable.

[Devchonka]

Move on. You like being beaten? You like a guy who likes to hear about you being hurt? Who gets off on it? MOVE ON and stop clinging on to hopes and dreams. Find someone normal.

 

Don't answer the phone.

[diamond78]

I would RUN as fast as I could...Find every means to block him. He's a psychotic-episode waiting to happen.

[DeenasRhino]

Find someone who knows how to treat you right. Do it for yourself, you deserve it.

[mitnord]

I would just add that he is a very likable person, a good father, has many friends, how come he treats me this way?

[mmmd]

don't worry about any of that stuff. he could be voted time's man of the year for all it matters and you should still run as fast as possible from him.

[Mavh25]

Some people have these kinds of fantasies, that does'nt mean that you have to stick around for it if emotionally it is painful for you. He should understand that but he seems to completely ignore it and take enjoyment from it still. Have you said anything to him about it?

[guynextdoor]

This douche deserves a beat down for a comment like that. How could he joke or be turned on with a serious matter like this. He got issues..

[faithful14]

Dump him and go NC! That's a major red flag that he gets aroused by the thought of you being beaten. Run and save yourself!

[digger11]

he needs to find someone who shares the same fantasies

and you need to get out of there.

[Gullible]

It would already be bad enough - violence during sex usually keeps getting heavier and heavier. First he wants to slap you, then he wants to choke you, and eventually he wants to just beat you.

 

And as bad as that already is, it's actually worse in this situation since he knows you were physically abused by your father. Sick, sick, sick.

[Natty7]

he even gets erection while talking about that...

 

I'm so sorry that you have fallen into like with this guy. I know you see the good in him, if you think about it, you can find the good in just about anyone. I highlight the above because this is the only part of this whole scenario that seems so clear. You are right when you say he may have mental issues... he clearly does. Just because he makes you happy 50%, even 98% of the time, it still does not leave any excuses for his actions. A man should never get excited regarding something so serious as past sexual abuse. It is a sign that you need to run away and STAY away. Do not make excuses for him and do not try and see the good. It is sick for him to replay/rehash the severe troubles you have been through. To want to reenact it takes it to a whole other world of twisted. I have nothing against sexual fantasies, mutual S&M, etc., but this is just plain w-r-o-n-g.

 

Please, please listen to everyone's advice and discontinue all contact. If you go back, something bad is inevitable. You don't want to put yourself in that situation. Turn to your friends now. They will keep you busy as you forget about this guy. I will even be your penpal if you need one during those lonely times. You are a stranger to me but I feel like if you do not stay away, something bad will happen to you. Personal message me if you ever need someone to talk to.

[TechResQ]

"Like-able" guy or not...he has issues. For your own safety and sanity...please get away from this guy! He is definitely bad news.

[JessieGirl]

I don't know how old you are...

And since you have a rocky past (which I'm terribly sorry about)

You need to be emotionally strong and GET AWAY from him!

 

This guy is psycho! I don't care if he's a likable person.

 

If a man gets off on the image of his girlfriend being "beaten"...he needs help. And not the help you can offer.

 

For your own safety, please get rid of him. And if you get any kind of bad response after the break up..and feel threatened, go to the police! Or tell an adult!