4 yrs of misery - doing it different this time

[LostLeo42]

So I am on day 7 of NC. Been together 4 years, lots of conflicts, I have many posts with the details I won't go into them again. Anyway, we were supposed to go on vacation together today. Or rather I should say, I rented a shore house a few hours away and he was supposed to spend a few days there with me and my son, because that is all he is capable of - in 4 years we have never taken a vacation together. So needless to say he isn't coming. This is the 4th year in a row that he has managed to ruin my vacation.

 

Year 1 - his idea to get the shore house, we got in a fight because he had a birthday party for his daughter and did not invite me because his ex wife was going to be there. Didn't hear from him all night and when I called him the next day he was incredibly hung over, mean to me and cancelled our plans. Didn't speak for 5 months.

 

Year 2 - I was turning 40 that year. He was supposed to come to my shore house on my Birthday. We had it planned for 6 months. I told all my friends and relatives not to come on that day because I wanted to spend it alone with him, had a big romantic day planned. He calls the day before and says he can't get off from work. I'm left all alone, spent my 40th bday in tears. Now he got off work the week before to go fishing and the week after. So I decided never to speak to him again. I went for a few weeks, but then he cornered me outside of my daycare and begged.

 

Year 3 - this was last summer. He was supposed to come for like 3 days. After one day he decided it was too nice and he would rather go fishing so he left.

 

This year we had a huge fight a week ago. But instead of letting him ruin my vacation this year, instead of going down there and feeling sorry for myself and moping, I invited anyone and everyone I could think of to come for a day or two. I even went so far as to invite my son's teachers and they are coming! So I will be lucky if I get one day to myself to relax.

 

This time its going to be different. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I'm not going to be insane anymore! I'm going to make improvements in my life. Step 1 - get over him. Step 2 - start extending myself and making more friends. Step 3 - learning to be really truly happy within myself. Step 4 - meet someone who deserves me.

[TurtleDove12]

Those are great steps. You know what you must do, and you're doing it. I have a feeling that things will work out for you.

[pumpkinmoon]

same steps for me! Im on step 1/2 atm Not long to go til step 4 I hope

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Good for you! I suspect you have not heard the last of this loser. Just have a great vacation and a great birthday. This guy doesn't sound like he is worth missing.

[LostLeo42]

Thanks guys. Shoefairy - hang in there! PM me if you like! I have internet at my beach house!