23 year old virgin and never been in love

[thelastperson]

I'm 23 attractive and have never been in a serious relationship which has led me down a path of being a 23 year old virgin. I was all ready to just get it over with till I met this guy that didn't want to have sex and showed me what intimacy was again. A month later into dating he tells me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and cuts it all off.

 

I'm just really frustrated and feel really lost and alone. What woman at 23, who is driven, attractive, outgoing, fun and is told she is a great catch, had never been in love and is still a virgin?

 

I'm torn on just getting wasted and just sleeping with whomever comes a long, but then I really want that special intimacy that comes with your "first" time. I've never been one to wait for marriage but I do want to wait for love.

 

I feel alone and like there is no one in the world that can relate to this situation or tell me what they did when they were in it, because everyone I know by 23 has either fall in love once and is no longer a virgin.

 

I just want to know if anyone else has been in this situation and how you felt or dealt with it

 

and by attractive i mean ...

5'9

130lb

mixed background/exotic

tiny waste/ c chest

[DreamerGirl27]

I am in the same exact boat as you, only I'm 25. I finally found a guy I really like and we are friends, but he doesn't like me like that. I was crushed when I found out...still am. He still wants to be "friends", too. I also feel like I am an attractive girl on the outside as well.

 

I'm 5'6"

around 130lbs

mixed, but look mostly white

blue eyes, long brown hair etc...

 

I know exactly how you feel. Everyone I know are in relationships, even some of my friends have gotten married and have or are starting families. I say that I think I'll be alone forever, because I'm not getting any younger, and people just tell me "don't worry about that yet!! Enjoy being single, you are still young!"

 

Yeah, well, that mighta worked to say that when I was 19, or maybe even 21, but at 25 I am starting to get up there and I'm not getting any younger.

 

I am also incredibly picky...so that doesn't help. I have no good advice for you, sorry!! Because I am at a point where I think I am never getting married or having a family EVER. I also am not waiting for marriage, but I am waiting for love and at this point, I just don't see love anywhere in my future. At least not from the opposite sex. : (

[pinkelephant]

so wait. be proud of the fact that you've been waiting for the right guy. it takes a lot of self control.

 

 

i think you should continue to wait. i would be a virgin had it not been for my impulsive need to try to see what it's like, with my first boyfriend. not that i regret it, but i think it's wiser to wait.

[wonderwoman29]

Cheer up girls,

dont worry! everything happens for a reason...Same thing happened to me..Im nearly 26 and im a virgin and proud of it..I am a nice good looking girl,im also very out going theres nothing wrong with me or you there just not intrested in you... My way of thinking is if he is not into you, well thats his lost..i feel sorry for him..there is a guy who would appreciate you for who you are...it's not the end of the world.virgin or not. Its personal choice..each to their own..

[Capricorn3]

ENA has tons of threads about virgins, from ages 20 right through to 40+, so you are not alone. In fact, it seems very common these days so there's no need to panic. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. Focus on other things and it usually sorts itself out as soon as you forget about it.

[wmped]

Sorry to bud in here as the first male on the post...

 

I just wanted to say that your search for intimacy is not only admirable but ultimately will lead to you having a much happier and healthier love life afterward. To share a life with someone you can trust completely to never hurt you is a rare treasure these days. I know that I'm waiting it out for that diamond in the rough, which is not to say it has been easy.

 

At 24 and being a fairly attractive dude (if I don't say so myself)...let's just say that I'm more than ready to meet that special lady. So much so that at times I find myself attempting to settle for less than what my heart truly desires: not just a playmate but a true soul-mate. Even though I've had some close calls, I always come back down to Earth and realize that she's still out there. And by not waiting, I'd be betraying her in order to settle for a woman who has a less than perfect heart.

 

So essentially it boils down to this, we exist and we want you! Don't compromise on your dream, the world is already too full of bitter, sad, and unhappy people that have given into despair. Be the exception.

[thelastperson]

Hi we are def in the same boat!!

And I don't nessicarily think I'm picky, but i do go on this gut instinct of when im instantly drawn to a person or not.

 

you pray for me and i'll pray for you.

after all the advice ive been getting tonight...i've regained my faith

[greywolf]

I was 23/24 when I first had sex with a guy. You'll find someone.

[konstantine]

I know it seems like it sucks right now, and you are pretty much ready to just give it away. But you will save yourself a LOT of heartache and trouble if you wait for someone who accepts it and wants to make it that special moment for you.

[lbsandals]

So believe me, you don't want to get yourself into some kind of relationship just to lose it or something along those lines.

 

I was seeing a man, just for the intimacy of it honestly, who was like twice my age, and it just tore me apart. I was in school, going through my second year of college and struggled with that and him...blah.

 

We were close too. He was like my best friend, brother, father- ever heard that one Alanis Morissette song...? Anyways, all those things. But then I started realizing that I didn't just want to

 

1) be with some older guy for intimacy

 

but 2) didn't just want to be with some PERSON just for intimacy.

 

I wanted to find myself, and then find someone else. It broke him too.

And it broke me.

 

And you know what? We never had sex. I may not be twenty three, but I discovered something that I hope can help you:

 

Sex is not love,

you shouldn't just want to lose it.

BE yourself, DONT hang out with SCUM.

That is a biggie.

If you change your habits, maybe even your job,

the kind of people you hang out with and your life-

THINGS CHANGE.

 

I know, I'm younger than you and telling you these things but just getting

wasted and sleeping with whomever....I don't know you but that's a terrible thing for anyone to go through. You are worth so much more than that.

 

Recently I met a man in college whom I guess started college when he was probably around 24 or so? Anyways, his had a girlfriend who was about 18 or 19 when we has 26 or 27. And to HER he lost his virginity.

 

It's not all about losing it. And if you meet some JERK who tells you

that you're a freak or something for still being a virgin well obviously he's trash.

 

I myself am a mind-freak with all this stuff...I've realized a lot in the last year in terms of self-control, being driven, having respect for yourself, and all that.

 

Picture this-

 

picture a person who is beautiful okay? And they are driven, and they have goals, and they always wear a smile, and they have respect for people, are intelligient-

 

isn't that the kind of person you are? Isn't that the kind of person you want to be with? Sometimes you can wait but remember, going out there and living and being yourself and embracing everything and not putting up with TRASH, that's the kind of strength that attracts those a like minds.

 

Seems like maybe you're similar to me in the sense that you're a little more mature for your age when it comes to these things..? Hey, I had the chance...but I said I wasn't ready because...I didn't just want to give it to some guy that I didn't feel like my heart was fully into.

 

I don't know, words to ponder. Hell, at least love yourself if you can't seem to find the right man to appreciate your beauty. You seem like an amazing person, and I think with the right action on your part you could start attracting some very wonderful people.

 

Good luck girl!

[irish99]

i know how you feel. 22, virgin, and never been in love. i wouldnt call myself ugly either, and im getting to the point to just getting wasted and sleeping with whomever too! it sucks doesnt it!?

[twentiesgirl86]

I know how you feel, except I am not beautiful and I am short. I will be 25 this September and I am still a virgin, and I've only kissed two guys. I've considered going out and doing one night stands, but I just can't do it, no matter how many times my friends tell me to. I actually had an intimate encounter set up with a guy, but I couldn't do it. So it's just going to have to be a relationship. I keep hoping I'll meet someone soon, and that he won't be freaked out by a 24 going on 25 virgin.

[OneBrightStar]

I was 23 when I:

 

- fell in love

- got my first kiss

- had any real, true "dates"

- lost my virginity

 

I was holding out for the right guy and I was glad that I waited. I would've waited even longer had the "right one" not come along.

[Ginger1]

I'm the same as you. 23 and all that. Barely dated at all. For the first time ever (this spring/summer) a guy has actually shown some interest in me, it's kind of uplifting. I'm a little cautious about the whole thing to tell the truth. Mostly because I am happy enough with myself (work/friends/fam/life etc.) that I am not going to waste time with someone who potentially is a jerk. Don't worry about it too much so long as you are happy in your other avenues. Yes I am freaking scared of becoming attached/intimate with someone, but I have a feeling that when I find the 'right' person it won't be scary- or it will be but I will WANT to go for it. Hang in there