adonis_boy Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 I met this girl in a group of friends a month ago. We have been messaging on Facebook 2-3 times a week. I told her that I am leaving the country in September for a 2-years master education and if she would still be interested in dating considering that we would only have 2-3 months to spend together before I leave. She replied she prefers staying friends and 2-3 months is a very short time to get to know someone and start a long-term relationship, which is what she is looking for in opposite sex. Today, I receive a message from her telling me that we two should have a coffee sometime. This confuses me, considering what she has said before. Is it likely that she changed her mind? Is it possible that she might be looking for something else? I would like to get your ideas on this. Thank you! Link to comment
CCmedic Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. My guess is she wants to enjoy the friendship or whatever else things may be, until you leave. If I could see into the future I'd also bet you guys will stay in contact when you leave but it will diminish over time as the distance takes its burden on you two. Apologies if I'm coming off negative here, I just have LOTS of experience with going away and coming back(three deployments overseas) and I've seen it sooo much now. I sincerely wish you good luck however! Link to comment
IGlareOften Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 maybe she just wants to have coffee? Does she have to be into you to want to go get coffee together? ^ Dude is right. Maybe she wants to enjoy your company while she can? Is that wrong? It's unfair to want to have something for 2-3 and then leave. Why can't it be casual and just enjoy each other until you leave? That shouldn't be confusing. Go have coffee with her. Link to comment
LawlessOne Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 It's only coffee for right now, so I wouldn't be too quick as to jump the gun. I think her initial reaction to something long-term with you does make sense. You're going to be gone two years and she isn't interested in a long distance relationship. Coffee won't hurt anybody, though. So why not just go and enjoy? Link to comment
PoisonIvy Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 No mixed messages IMO. Sounds like two friends hanging out to me. Could be more than that, but I doubt she's changed her mind. Enjoy each other's company, don't force anything along, have fun, stay in touch if you both choose to. That's my advice. Link to comment
adonis_boy Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 No mixed messages IMO. Sounds like two friends hanging out to me. Could be more than that, but I doubt she's changed her mind. Enjoy each other's company, don't force anything along, have fun, stay in touch if you both choose to. That's my advice. Would it be a good idea to test the waters when we meet or directly ask her if it is a date before we meet? Link to comment
iBroken Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Test the waters Dont put the pressure of a "date" on this Link to comment
Yates33 Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 I think you should tell us a bit more. You met her once and talked to her on facebook for weeks? Did you ever see her again? Have you ever been on a real date with this girl? Did you just assume she was interested and asked her if she wanted to date? Were you dating this girl already? From what you wrote, it looks like you two met...talked on facebook and out of the blue you asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship with you. More info. Link to comment
adonis_boy Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 I think you should tell us a bit more. You met her once and talked to her on facebook for weeks? Did you ever see her again? Have you ever been on a real date with this girl? Did you just assume she was interested and asked her if she wanted to date? Were you dating this girl already? From what you wrote, it looks like you two met...talked on facebook and out of the blue you asked her if she wanted to be in a relationship with you. More info. We meet once, have a talk, then add each other on Facebook. We message back and forth and never meet in person again. She goes for a trip abroad for 2 weeks during this messaging. I tell her I will be leaving for education in 3 months, I would like to meet her again and get to know her better and ask her opinions on this regarding my stuation. She tells me that 2-3 months is just not enough time to get to know somebody and start a long term relationship, which is what she is looking for. I reply to her saying that I understand her completely and I agree if a person is looking for a LTR. We stop messaging for a week and then out of the blue, she sends me a flirty message, suggesting a coffee meeting just the two of us. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 No mixed messages IMO. Sounds like two friends hanging out to me. Could be more than that, but I doubt she's changed her mind. Enjoy each other's company, don't force anything along, have fun, stay in touch if you both choose to. That's my advice. Yeah, I agree that this isn't mixed messages. You told her that you're leaving in 2-3 months and she wants to just be friends and not get committed. Friends can have coffee and chat. Link to comment
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