guido65 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hi there, I broke up with my ex (and the only girl I have ever loved ) about 6 months ago and very soon after she got herself another boyfriend. At the time I experienced more pain than I ever felt in my entire life, the problem is the pain just keeps going on and on. I am in complete agony and just can't bear going through each day. I still think about her all the time, miss her so much and hate thinking about her with someone else (even though all I want is for her to be happy). I'm sorry this is like a woe is me post its just that I have to get this off my chest. Is there any hope for me? Will this pain ever go away? Is there any respite? Thanks for listening Link to comment
jenna-is-here Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 I am sorry you are in so much pain. Do you mind me asking why you broke up w/ her? Link to comment
hmmwhoknows Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 I am sorry you are in so much pain. Do you mind me asking why you broke up w/ her? Yeah, usually people aren't that heartbroken if they dumped someone else. This is intriguing. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Same thing for me bud....Except its been around a year since I broke up with her. There had to be a good reason on why you did, and I'm sure its for the best.... The best thing you can do is better yourself, and just continue to move on. What things are you doing to better yourself? Hitting the gym?? Eating better?? New hobbies?? Bro, your gonna find someone one day thats going to blow your mind compared to your ex...Im sure you learned a lot from your previous relationship now you can apply the wrongs and rights, and the wants and needs you have for your future...In the end when you look back at the bigger picture you'll feel great and be happy...JUST GOTTA STAY POSITIVE!! Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Yeah, usually people aren't that heartbroken if they dumped someone else. This is intriguing. I was the same way as this, for me....It just wasn't working, but deep down I still feel I should be with her...Plus just like Guido's case, they found another man very quick.... No matter what it was what we wanted at that moment in time and thats why we made that decision. Nothing more to it then that...It wasnt meant to be. Link to comment
fLuiD Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 The pain will go away. But if after 6 months you have seen not even the slightest of change in your pain, then you need to step up your efforts of healing. Exercising isn't a bad idea. Its good for you and it keeps your mind off of her. Is there anything you have been putting off because you don't have the time to do such as a hobby or a sport? Now is the time to get into it. One of the best ways to heal is to occupy yourself with anything and everything you can think of. Link to comment
ilwam Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hi there, I broke up with my ex (and the only girl I have ever loved ) about 6 months ago and very soon after she got herself another boyfriend. At the time I experienced more pain than I ever felt in my entire life, the problem is the pain just keeps going on and on. I am in complete agony and just can't bear going through each day. I still think about her all the time, miss her so much and hate thinking about her with someone else (even though all I want is for her to be happy). I'm sorry this is like a woe is me post its just that I have to get this off my chest. Is there any hope for me? Will this pain ever go away? Is there any respite? Thanks for listening I think I know how you feel. I had a boyfriend from 2003-2005 and a little throughout 2006 off n on. I was so deeply in love with him. I had never loved anyone like that and I don't think I ever will again. The breakup was SO HARD to accept. I was unable to move on for about 2 years and even when I got in my next relationship I'd resigned a good part of my heart. So I hate to tell you the truth but to answer your question, you might not ever fully get over it but what you can do is look for whatever other beauty and adventure life still holds for you. There is hope for you! Be willing to recreate yourself, renew yourself, let go. It's almost like you have to be reborn. Leave the past in the past and see what's in store for your future. You have to be willing to grow. It's a choice. Link to comment
ilwam Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 The pain will go away. But if after 6 months you have seen not even the slightest of change in your pain, then you need to step up your efforts of healing. Exercising isn't a bad idea. Its good for you and it keeps your mind off of her. Is there anything you have been putting off because you don't have the time to do such as a hobby or a sport? Now is the time to get into it. One of the best ways to heal is to occupy yourself with anything and everything you can think of. ^^ I agree. After my breakup I moved accross the US, took up new hobbies, exercised, traveled, met new people. You have to CREATE new meaningful memories in your life. Link to comment
hmmwhoknows Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 I was the same way as this, for me....It just wasn't working, but deep down I still feel I should be with her...Plus just like Guido's case, they found another man very quick.... No matter what it was what we wanted at that moment in time and thats why we made that decision. Nothing more to it then that...It wasnt meant to be. There was a thread last week about how dumb a phrase 'It wasn't meant to be' is. Actually, it was more of a debate. I hate that phrase, to me it's completely meaningless. The world is chance. I guess I would never break up with someone I truly loved and felt 'deep down' that I should be with. I doubt I'll ever be in the same situation as you guys. Link to comment
guido65 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 Thank you all so so much for your kind words! Its means so much to me.... Briefly I broke up with her for many reasons, she was 10 years older than me, had 3 kids from a previous relationship (I have no kids) and was very insecure.... Its so cliche but I never realised just how profound my love was for her until she'd gone and by now its too late... I feel bad for feeling bad because by all standards I have a very privileged high quality life and have a lot to be very grateful for...Its just at the moment I am letting my heartbreak completely ruin my life... Link to comment
ilwam Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Thank you all so so much for your kind words! Its means so much to me.... Briefly I broke up with her for many reasons, she was 10 years older than me, had 3 kids from a previous relationship (I have no kids) and was very insecure.... Its so cliche but I never realised just how profound my love was for her until she'd gone and by now its too late... I feel bad for feeling bad because by all standards I have a very privileged high quality life and have a lot to be very grateful for...Its just at the moment I am letting my heartbreak completely ruin my life... Have you told her any of this?? Did you try to reach out to her to reconcile? Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 There was a thread last week about how dumb a phrase 'It wasn't meant to be' is. Actually, it was more of a debate. I hate that phrase, to me it's completely meaningless. The world is chance. I guess I would never break up with someone I truly loved and felt 'deep down' that I should be with. I doubt I'll ever be in the same situation as you guys. Not to start that thread back up or anything....But obviously it wasnt meant to be because it isn't..... Link to comment
hmmwhoknows Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Not to start that thread back up or anything....But obviously it wasnt meant to be because it isn't..... My only point is that you never know what's going to happen. Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Thank you all so so much for your kind words! Its means so much to me.... Briefly I broke up with her for many reasons, she was 10 years older than me, had 3 kids from a previous relationship (I have no kids) and was very insecure.... Its so cliche but I never realised just how profound my love was for her until she'd gone and by now its too late... I feel bad for feeling bad because by all standards I have a very privileged high quality life and have a lot to be very grateful for...Its just at the moment I am letting my heartbreak completely ruin my life... You already sound a little more positive, just keep moving on and putting in effort to better yourself and the pain will slowly fade!! Link to comment
Cheeks18 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 My only point is that you never know what's going to happen. Oh I gotcha, like for the future??....How bout this "At that point in time, it wasnt meant to be" lol....That works better...cause ya never know.... Link to comment
guido65 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hi, no I have not told her becuase I have to accept the fact it is over, she is clearly moving on with her life and I don't think. I should reopen old wounds. There is no way we will ever get back together. Thanks Link to comment
hmmwhoknows Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Oh I gotcha, like for the future??....How bout this "At that point in time, it wasnt meant to be" lol....That works better...cause ya never know.... Ha, agreed! Link to comment
CuZiNeeDYoU Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Same situation as me, I wish I could tell you it gets better... actually it does but im 9 months in and things still suck... One thing you may want to consider is this being more of an ego thing. I mean Im still trying to figure that part out, when i was with her I neglected her but as soon as she left I felt completely lost... Right now I cant convince myself that I dont actually love her even though there's always been a doubt.... I just think thats one perspective that you might wanna explore Link to comment
hater13 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 3 months in and i still feel horrible. all this even though i know he doesn't give a ____ about me. oh well. i'll forget about this eventually Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 3 months in and i still feel horrible. all this even though i know he doesn't give a ____ about me. oh well. i'll forget about this eventually God I have no hope...... 5 weeks in and bloody devastated there goes 2010 what a waste of a year. Link to comment
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