Can you help me understand why cheating goes like this...

[matius]

Could never get her to admit but I have an obsession to know; even though it'll give me no peace.

 

I have very good reason to believe she was cheating - a few of which being new underwear, lingerie, and hairdo all while our connection as a couple was limited.

 

So what I need help on is understanding for what reason these images are implanted in my mind in the end. To frustrate? To be mean-spirited? Man be discrete about it...

 

Why not just make the break & do your thing. I really feel the disrespect burn acutely - it hurts more than them finding someone who makes a better match and leaving for 'em. I can't imagine what I did to deserve it.

 

What do you think was on her mind - just sending a message?

[jraf]

I have very good reason to believe she was cheating - a few of which being new underwear, lingerie, and hairdo all while our connection as a couple was limited.

 

Maybe she has nothing to admit. your "evidence" of her cheating is pretty thin. Lot's of women buy new things and have their hair styled.

[matius]

Naw... keep in mind she was largely unavailable to me this entire time.

 

I have my reasons for doing so beyond what I've mentioned and I understand if you don't follow me on the next one ... but it was a gut thing.

 

A friend of hers on her page posted something sexually forward - it was a request to meet up which went disappearing the next day. I had enough of these types of deals & went by her house & at 3AM - no car.

 

That's just a taste.

[unknown100]

If you think she is cheating, she probably was. Trust your gut. It's good you even allowed yourself to think she was cheating - so you are not blind to put it past her.

 

Just end the relationship and demand better treatment. She isn't going to admit it. Or find some undeniable evidence and confront her. Either way, if she isn't treating you the way you want to be treated - don't compromise. I wish I did that too.

[Capricorn3]

Maybe she has nothing to admit. your "evidence" of her cheating is pretty thin. Lot's of women buy new things and have their hair styled.

^^ THIS. You don't even KNOW if she was cheating or not, yet you are assuming just because she bought new underwear? Seriously?

[lavenderdove]

Because they're being selfish and self involved. She's thinking about her date with man, and primping like a woman would for any date, especially in the beginning of a relationship where people are excited and want to look their best.

 

Cheaters also enjoy the game. They like sneaking around and find it exciting. It's a totally different mindset, because they're being selfish and thinking what's fun FOR THEM and not caring if it hurts you. And they get a little charge out of it, like look what i just did and got away with it.

 

So you're thinking about love and commitment, and she's thinking about fun and excitement. You just look at the world differently when you're a cheater, and hurting other people or breaking commitments just doesn't have much meaning for them.

[matius]

^^ THIS. You don't even KNOW if she was cheating or not, yet you are assuming just because she bought new underwear? Seriously?

 

Must not have read the other post... plus, I was on the ground in the situation - I assure you I should get a little more credit for my observations. In other words, trust me.

 

If you think she is cheating, she probably was. Trust your gut. It's good you even allowed yourself to think she was cheating - so you are not blind to put it past her.

 

Life is tough seeing things. Getting burned is frustrating you know...

[Casanova4life]

Is because women can't take risks. Thiis is why they start cultivating relationships without ending the current. Its in their genes. Women can't make decisions and can't take risks.

[Heart On]

Is because women can't take risks. Thiis is why they start cultivating relationships without ending the current. Its in their genes. Women can't make decisions and can't take risks.

 

Talk about generalizing.

I chose to leave my husband without any safety nets and without cheating.

As long as we're making generalizations about cheaters....How about how men ALWAYS want thier cake and to eat it too and betray both thier wive and thier lover by never leaving thier marriage but stringing both women along with lies because they are cowards who can't get off the fence...now that's more truth that your point.

 

OP...Who cares at this point if she cheated on you or not.Liars always deny and you many never get a confession outta her.If you don't trust her anymore...just walk away and stop torturing yourself.She's not worth it.