What to do when a friend is in a totally toxic relationship.

[rustyschackelf]

Ok so I'm a guy and I have a friend who has been in a relationship with this girl for a year and a half, and she is for lack of a better term psychotic. This girl is 21 and acts like she is seriously 10 years old. She is completely immature, throws temper tantrums, cheats on him (suspected, but ALL the signs are there), talks to and flirts with other guys constantly (her phone goes off ever 3 seconds with other guys texting her), starts fights with him constantly over the most rediculous reasons, is completely rude and inconsiderate, constantly puts him down, and just displays never-ending attention seeking behavior. The way she acts is just embarrassing and annoying, and I can tell that although he hides it well he is very embarrassed by her behavior as well. On top of all that she is not even attractive, and I strongly suspect she is bipolar as she displays many of the signs and symptoms. Everyone I know that has met her can't believe nobody has run her over with a car yet. But I digress. I guess my question or thought would be: Is there anyway I can tell him what a huge mistake he is making and how he is wasting his time with her, and that it would be a good idea to break up with her as this relationship is going nowhere fast, without looking like a total ass bag. Currently they have broken up twice, once she initiated and the other he did, and both times they got back together the very same day. I can tell you that he will never make a clean break from her on his own, as for some reason he just can't do it. I think he is worried he will never be able to find anyone else, but that is not the case, my gf already has a friend that would like to meet him. I guess some of this was just me venting but any input or comment anyone would like to share would be appreciated.

[littlestar]

You could try talking to him but dont be disappointed if he doesn't listen to you or take your advice.

 

Ultimately it's his life and his decision and you can't force him one way or another, even if the relationship is toxic. You might end up being blamed for the break down of the relationship should something happen between them.

 

I know it must he hard warching your friend waste his life with this girl but all you can do is be there for him if and when things fall apart.

[Sonicxman]

It is a very difficult situation that you are in right now. You are stuck in the middle between doing what’s right for your friend and doing what your friend wants. Really there is nothing you can do but talk to him. The best suggestion I can come up with is to tell your friend everything you just told us here. You are always there for your friend and sometimes it takes a kick in the a** to make someone realize that they’re making a bad choice. Tell him you only want what’s best for him and that you think he could find a better girl. Telling him all this is very hard for you but, wouldn't you prefer to see him happy and not just settling. Tell him if he agrees with you then why does he continue to put on with her bulls*** and why not just get rid of her? Tell him to stand up for himself, because you can’t stand to watch her put him down all the time because you care about him too much.

[somberchic]

Your friend needs to learn the hard way...and on his own.

[Siriana]

I would casually mention to him that your gf's friend is interested in him and I would leave it at that.

It will perhaps put a seed of doubt into him.

[rustyschackelf]

Thank you for the replies. I think my friend knows what a nutcase this girl is even if he won't admit it. Both times they broke up I spoke to him and pointed out everything I said in this post and he pretty much agreed with me. He knows that this is not how a normal person is suppossed to act yet he won't end the relationship. I honestly think the only thing that keeps him from leaving her is that he thinks he will never find anyone else, she is his first real gf which probably has something to do with it as well. I just want him to realize that they're are other fish in the sea, and that he doesn't have to make the choice of being alone forever or putting up with her for the the rest of his life.

[geekgirl4]

: ( Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do except let him be an adult and make his own decisions.