what is it about me??

[Sadness_Creeping]

It seems everytime a girl takes interest in me, that im interested in they all seem to have childhood issues...(ie sexual abbuse..etc) and...the relationships are really nice off the start, but they never seem to work out this one will be the 4th girl that ive started talkin to. I know her from my past...used to hang out with her..etc...but the low and behold i found out last night, that yes...i guess the term would be she has emtional bagage and has had alot of bfs...so...i dunno what to do...my past experaice tells me to stay away, but i cant help but like her...we get along soo good and talk for hours...and i know everyone is differant as well..so i dont know.

any suggestions?

[piscesprincess]

I guess the philosophical/rational appraoch to life seems easier & less complicated. let's face it, we are emotional beings. Some say women are more sensitive or have been sexually abused more, but to be fair, men have the same issues. Even truly sensitive, caring men have been "conditioned" to hide what they feel (i.e. real men don't cry).

 

I have been abused, if you want to call this fact "aggage" fine. Life is not rosy even though some people may seem to have it all (Paris Hiltons of the world). But, we should not be jealous or envious right? Yet we are...

 

It is easy to wallow in self-loathing & it is OK! The right one will come when you are ready to recipricate love & patience to someone more than yourself. Do you think relationships (true love) is fun & games? That is only part of it, the rest takes time & effort on both parts.

 

People do care. Just remember that

[matt11b5]

I know what you mean I've met alot of girls with the same problems. What I have learned is that alot more girls than what you think have been abused in that way or another. Very sad thing. But be prepared bud, if it doesn't work out with this girl I gurantee your going to meet another one. Be patient with them, show them they can trust you, thats just what any girl needs. It will all work out trust me. Its good to take an interest and have them talk about it and get it all out of the way and in the open. But keep a sharp eye some girls use it as an excuse sometimes. Just be patient to the ones you care about and let the ones you cant be patient with go. Good luck bud.

 

Matt

[Sadness_Creeping]

Thanks Matt, well ya I'm goin to see what happens, just cause if i dont i'll always wonder...shes amazing smart..and seems genualy interested in me. Im just goin to take it a bit slower than i have in the past i think.

Thanks again all.

[brokenpogostick]

I would say that you don't know until you try. Not all women are the same. There are some women out there with "baggage", but are very capable of dealing with it on an adult level without it becoming an issue. If you like her, give her a chance.

[blues82]

You're just going to have to trust me on this one. I just got out of a relationship with a woman that was raped at 17 by her boyfriends brother. She's 40 now and has been through several failed relationships. She never got married. If you have a brain in your head, I don't care how much you like her, she'll do to you what she's done to all the others. That the way it works. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want to hear, but you'll be better off with someone else, or even no one else. People like that seem nice, and you may get along with her, but when things starts to progress, that's when the baggage starts to come out. Here's the critical point: It's too late then!!!!! You're involved and you'll find it very, very difficult to break free. It's just not worth the amount of BS you'll end up putting yourself through. I know this because I just went through the same damn thing myself.

[SilverSurfer]

IMO, you shouldn't be trying to be the fixer of all her problems / issues. you'll have to draw a line somewhere, definitely you'll have to handle some issues. its hard to give a definite yes or no, but definitely, you should give it a try if you think its worth it! but do watch out for yourself if things go out of control. some may disagree with this, but if possible, get the opinions of your best friend (or someone you can totally trust) as much as possible.