Thought i was gay am i.

[Fuzzer1]

Ok

 

So while i was posting on here before, saying i was gay i was living with my parents, i have just recently moved into a house shared with 4 other people. 3 are men which i dont feel attracted to in anyway and 1 girl. Here is the snag, me and this girl keep ending up in the living room together alone and we were watching tv, on the tv a scene where two old lovers meet alone again suddenly start loving each other again. I dont know about this girl i was with but i started to feel strange like, really tense like i couldnt look at her. Everytime i'm in the room with her alone i feel tense. If we were talking and sitting together and suddenly we started to kiss i think i probably wouldnt stop and i feel as if i could go the whole way.

 

Oh and while i come to mention it once in the living room together she said do you want to walk to the shops with me? And while we were walking there she wouldnt stop talking and looking at me and smiling.

 

Basically does this mean i am not gay but BI, would a gay man if alone with a girl suddenly feel attracted to her? I have gotten really confused over the past couple of days about my sexuality before moving into this house and inside the house with this girl. The worse thing is i switched the light switch on and the bulb blew, after we couldnt find any new bulbs i looked at her and said shall i text Martin (the landlord) and she looked at me and said no but when she did she was really smiley faced and kept stairing at me and when i said ok and walked up the stairs she was still standing there looking at me.

 

If a gay man and a straight woman were in a room alone sitting on a sofa together no one else around and the woman was making it known to the gay man that she fancies him (which she hasnt done yet) would he give her a cuddle when the time was right or maybe even kiss her because i would. I pissed of with my brain because i am 21 and should know what i am by now surely.

 

Who do i like men or women because locked in sexual tension with either i would have them both in bed, which is bi talking isnt it.

[Dragunov-21]

Perhaps I'm not the most qualified (being straight myself), but I'd suggest that if you are sexually attracted to both guys and girls, that's bi, by definition.

 

No matter how you choose to define yourself, enjoy it for what it is. Sounds like you like her, and any rate.

[RedDress]

Google 'Kinsey Scale'... it will make you feel better.

 

Basically, only 10% of people are 100% heterosexual and 10% of people are 100% homosexual. Sexuality is a spectrum and most people fall somewhere in between. That doesn't mean we're all bi... but... well, kinda.

 

I think you can still be gay and be attracted to the occasional woman.

 

You're fine.

[lukeb]

I have never been able to understand people who say that because they don't feel an attraction to a particular person that that is really proof of anything. Another one is because they actually haven't tried sex with a particular gender that they can't say for sure what sexuality they are.

 

 

I don't get it.

[Jinx]

In black and white terms, I'd call it bisexuality but unfortunately sexuality can be far from consistent.

 

While I classify myself as a lesbian, for the purpose of simplifying matters when the topic comes up, I did have one case when I was about 20 or so that just made me scratch my head in utter confusion. I'll relate the situation as it sounds similar to yours with a wee bit of background.

 

I dated men during my teen years, on expectations grounds rather than actual physical and emotional interest. I long remember being attracted to women but due to family and friends, needless to say, serious dating wasn't going to happen until I was on my own. After coming out in college and woman-centric in my pursuits, there was one situation that did make me scratch my head like no other, that managed to wiggle in.

 

I seen a man in one of my courses and it was like someone hit me right between the eyes. Besides one woman, I have never ever been attracted to someone just looking at them, it was almost like a bad "love at first sight" dating site commercial. So, I pushed it off as some bizarre hormonal malfunction and went about life for a week or two.

 

Then weirdly enough the guy soon approached me (huge class, no other classes together at a state university, that is what made the likelihood of it happening odd) and we talked. Extremely intellectual and very similar interests, and there was that mutual interest or whatever one might call it. Later on we got to know each other, became close friends, then later I found out he identified as gay since high school. That of course resulted in further awkwardness of an already complicated, confused situation. In the "end", we never did date, but I did end up with a wonderful friend, and we are both in long term same-sex relationships.

 

I don't think its as rare as we tend to make it out as. With society's need to rationalize, organize, and categorize ourselves into itty bitty emotional boxes, these situations produce confusion.

 

From my perspective, if you like her on an equally emotional and physical level, and she too is interested I'd go for it. It may be the relationship of a lifetime and if you allow labels to interfere, you don't want regrets of "What if..." to set in.

 

Also, if you're worried that you "should know by now", I'd consider the individuals who come out later in life after falling in love with someone of the same-sex after spending their life identifying as straight. Exactly the same if someone who is gay or lesbian falls in love with someone of the opposite sex during or well after their twenties.

[sweet_revenge]

personally, i'm not sure if i even believe blanket terms like gay, straight, or bi even truly exist, if you have feelings for someone go for it! who cares what's in their pants. if you like her you like her and don't worry about what you are, you're just a human being with feelings for another human being, it shouldn't matter whether that person's a man or a woman. love is too rare a thing to get hung up on gender/orientation labels.