is it possible to love again?

[Atticus90]

Well, today i got my closure. I was allowed to go to her house to talk and see my little boy. We talked and I appoligized for the threat I made to her. Told her I have a slight anger problem. Although unexcusable, she understood where I was coming from. We sorta made up in a way. We're not back together, but it felt nice seeing her face and being able to talk about this instead of over the phone. My son will be 2 next month, and watch this. If I ever needed a reason to believe he loved me, this would be it. He walked out to my car and got in my carseat and tried to strap himself in. All by himself. We used to never be able to get him in there. It literally made my heart melt... I missed him so much. She's not going to keep him away from me, from what she told me so that's good!

 

We're still not together though. I told her I wanted to take a while of No contact. I told her I keep my phone on, but to only contact me if my son's hurt or anything that has to do with him. Other than that, no contact.

 

She cried a lot while I was there, so of course I started crying. Then my boy started crying.. It was really emotional day for all of us. Almost felt like we were a family again. I made a promiss to her I wouldn't move on to quick and that it'd be a longgg time til I ever decide to date again. Regardless of that, I still wouldn't date. Gotta take my time to heal. She promissed the same, but no offense to her, those promisses can only last so long...

 

No matter how much she cried, she still wouldn't be together with me. It really upset me, but I want her happy, so I wasn't gonna bug her about it.

 

Now to my question. Is it really possible to love someone like I loved her again? I understand it probably wouldn't be the "same" love, but still. My heart is still crushed and I just want a little hope that I can share my heart with someone else in the future.

 

Thank you for reading and thanks for all the advice in my threads1

 

 

happy birthday to me

[isilv3r]

Heart breaks are known to be the most painful thing to feel in your entire life. Especially, when you love someone and you thought this was the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with. You have to remember, that although you still love her - it's the future that you have to forget about. Let that go and soon you will start to let her go as a person. You may love her forever but you will never love someone else the same again. Of course yes you will love and the only thing that can heal this, is time. In time you will meet someone that makes you smile like you didn't think you could again.

 

I admit, being you guys have a son together, that will make it a bit harder to move on but you will, it just may take a bit longer than normal. Keep busy, as much as you miss her and want to see her, you can't. You have to mourn and allow yourself to feel the emotion.

 

You'll get through this and however much time down the road, when you're with someone else, you'll look back and remember that you never thought you'd be happy again and it's possible. Good luck and stay strong!

[Atticus90]

Yeah, I'm also worried about the time it'll take for me to get over her. I have to admit, I'm starting to and it's only been 17 days. I really don't want to get over her as silly as that sounds. It's my biggest fear. I really don't know how to explain it, but yeah...

 

It's to soon to think about dateing again, but I just don't know how to love another women. It feels like it's so impossible that I shouldn't bother trying, but that'd be torturing myself probably. Another fear.. I'm afraid I wont be able to love someone again. And when I say love, I mean, love someone MORE than I loved her.

 

I'll get over this in time, but until then, it's going to be a difficult task for me. Probably one of the hardest in my life.

[BellaStranger]

I found your post really touching Atticus... specially as the last post I read of yours, I kind of thought you were a bit of a jerk! My apologies for that, cos there is clearly more to you.

 

I think you just need to keep working on youself, deal with those anger managment issues and keep making the best relationship that you possibly can with your son. Whilst you are focusing on these things, other things will start slotting in to place. You just need time and space!

 

Oh, Happy Birthday... here's to a better one for you next year!

[Jd1983]

I'm sorry that you're going through this right now. As with everything else, all you need is time.

 

I know it's hard to believe right now, but it's definitely possible to love again. You are still young and you still have your whole life ahead of you. There will always be other opportunities out there for you.

 

I know that when I broke up with my first serious bf, it took me literally years to get over him. I was crying non stop and I didn't think I'll actually get over it. I was in the same position as you are, thinking that I would never find anyone else. Thinking that I will never love again, and this was the end of all relationships.

 

I believe that everything happens for a reason. If I was actually still with my ex, I would have never found my bf who's so much more compatible with me, and I would never find true happiness. If it can happen with me, it can definitely happen for you.

 

In the meanwhile, just give yourself time to get over it. No need to force anything. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need someone to talk to, then feel free to continue posting. If you want to scream, then do so. This is just your way of healing.

 

Trust me, it gets easier due time.

 

Hang in there and stay strong.

[avman]

I'm very glad to see some self realization here Atticus. That makes me much more positive about your chances in the future than I had in your previous sets of posts.

 

So now that you can admit you have an anger problem it's time to do something about it. You don't want to have that come back and interfere in your relationship with your son or with any future partner you have. Get yourself into an anger management program. Check with the local community center or talk to a therapist. Get a referral into a program so you can improve yourself and learn from your past mistakes.

 

If you feel better about yourself you will have a much better chance at a healthy loving relationship in the future.