FastCee930 Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I have been broken up with this girl for 7 months, she was the first girl I ever loved. And now its been 7 months, I've dated other girls, but now I'm still not over her. And that's keeping a strain in the relationship I am in right now. And I could never get her back. She hates me, I hate her. But yet I love her. My life was so happy til I met her. But now it's been 7 months and I'm worried. Will I ever get over her. Or will I love her forever, and I'll never have a normal relationship again? Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 The only way that you can get over the old relationship woes is to talk it up with both your new girl and the old girl friend. You are going to say that is impossible. One hates me and one hates the other. They will have to get over their bad self to look in the mirror of life and decide what really happened here. You need closure, you need to say goodbye to one relationship before you can get on with your life! Link to comment
FastCee930 Posted March 23, 2003 Author Share Posted March 23, 2003 you are exactly right. thank you Link to comment
cookies Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 Well, ur not still over her because u still have feelings for her, and u must have had a good friendship/relationship with her that impacted on u pretty good to last this long after youve broken up. You dont really hate her, because u stil love her. YOu probably just hate the bad situations that you and she went through which lead to the breakup, but not her. If you can look past that at how beautiful of a person she was that initially drew u to her..and realize that you love that person as a friend...but now u have moved on with ur life, and have a nice, wonderful new lady in ur lfie that you are both drawn to,...you CAN have a normal relationship. YOu just have to know when its time to distinguish between past love & the feelings that you may have from time to time...and focus on your present love in order 4 it to grow... You may love her forever,...i am not sure tho...but it wont affect your future relationships, but it will be a lasting, sweet memory you can hold onto forever... cookies Link to comment
Gilgamesh Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I have been doing some reading on this kind of problem and it seems that the reason your not over her completely is that you never fully healed after the breakup, there is still an unresolved issue holding you back. Your mind will usually heal first, and then the heart later, it could take months for the heart to heal!, but because the mind heals faster, it makes the decision to move on to another relationship, this may help you feel better, but by not allowing your heart to heal completely youll not be ready to love another to the full extent. Im sure you heard about rebound? I have just come out of a long relationship, I would like nothing more than to go out with a women right now to ease the pain, I could call up an old girlfriend that i know that still likes me, but I cant do that, besides it being wrong to use her for that reason and wrong to hurt her later, its also wrong because I didnt allow time for my heart to heal. When you can look at your Ex and not feel any pain or feelings of loss etc. then you are healed, you will look back and have fond memories without any of the pain then you are ready to move on. I understand your in a relationship now, which makes it more difficult, you dont want to hurt this wonderful lady your with now. If you can pick up that book, Mars and Venus starting over, there are some things you can do, to help you find out whats holding you back. Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 When you hate others, you really hate how they made you feel about yourself. Hate is a passion very similar to love and lust. The opposite of love is not hate (psychologically speaking) but intolerance for others differences. You can feel nothing for people which is difficult for a teenager into your mid twenties (even early thirties), after a while your emotions will calm down and you can judge better how you feel about others and you will be more tolerant when things don't go your way. That is why it is good to with hold judgement and don't let your emotions get out of control. This is all about growing up. Link to comment
Carissach Posted March 24, 2003 Share Posted March 24, 2003 Seven months really isn't a long time for a first love. I think that you may be feeling like you miss her for a while. BUT, it will lessen over time and you WILL get over her but you probably will always have a special place in your heart for her. Accept that and don't think there is something wrong with feeling like that because there isn't. Try not to compare your new girlfriends to her. Focus on the positive things other girls have to offer. You may find someone you love again soon. Just keep telling yourself that you broke up for a reason and try and accept your new path in life. You never know, maybe sometime down the road when both of you mature and get over things you can be friends again, maybe more. It happens all the time. Don't focus on that though, just move on with your life...you'll be fine!!! Link to comment
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