Need Some Guy Perspective Here

[SpottiOtti]

I would like to describe a situation I found myself in last night, and see if I can get some guys' opinions on the whole thing.

 

I was out dancing with a couple of friends. My boyfriend stayed home because he was really tired. Was doing my thing on the dance floor when this guy started dancing next to me. I sort of acknowledged him, then went about my biz. Well, he started trying to dance with me. I just kept my distance and did my thing. When I sat down to take a break, he was dancing right in front of me, goofing off and smiling at me. He was being funny so I laughed along with him. Then I went back out on the floor again and he kept trying to dance with me, and introduced himself. Tried to start convo and such. Tried to touch my waist a couple times but I kept backing away.

 

At that point, even though I was enjoying the music in that room, I decided to go into another room with a different DJ. I thought it would be a good idea to remove myself from that sitch, so as not to give dude the wrong idea. But I guess I did give him the wrong idea, because a little while later he also came into the other room, and tried to dance with me again.

 

How could I have communicated to him better that I wasn't interested? I thought about saying, when he introduced himself, "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm _____ and before you get any ideas, I'm taken" but thought that was a little extreme! I mean, would I have sounded like a douche if I had said that?

 

What do you guys think?

[Clarity]

I think you did the right things - he was making advances, you rejected them indirectly. If he verbally comes onto you, then you can mention your BF, other than that, maybe go and dance/talk with your friends for a while and ignore him - that usually gives the clear signal.

[Dako]

"I need to find my GF and head out. You breeders are getting pushy."

[Lamour detruit]

Subtlety, especially in clubs, do not work at all. If you want a guy to back off, definitely tell him. Nothing wrong with it. If you even smile at someone, he will mistake it for you being interested.

[Iakasot]

"I have a boyfriend, sorry, bye". That wouldn't be being a douche, that's telling the truth. You know there's something wrong when people think the truth isn't the best way to go

[SpottiOtti]

Okay . . . so I should have just come out and told him from the get-go. I guess I was hesitant cause in the past I have tried that approach and I usually get an answer like "Whoah! Calm down shorty, I wasn't trying to hit on you or anything." I'm guessing that's ego covering/ BS?? Cause I really would feel stupid invoking the boyfriend if all the dude wants to do is dance . . . Of course, maybe it's naive of me to think all a guy in a club wants to do is dance . . .

[Iakasot]

Okay . . . so I should have just come out and told him from the get-go. I guess I was hesitant cause in the past I have tried that approach and I usually get an answer like "Whoah! Calm down shorty, I wasn't trying to hit on you or anything." I'm guessing that's ego covering/ BS?? Cause I really would feel stupid invoking the boyfriend if all the dude wants to do is dance . . . Of course, maybe it's naive of me to think all a guy in a club wants to do is dance . . .

 

Alright, so say "I don't want to dance with another guy, I'm taken." They can't really make the excuse you described if they touched or tried to touch you.

[Brightest Dark]

If you wanted to be more subtle, just so he knew you were taken you could say something like 'My boyfriend's friend has that EXACT shirt!'

 

That said, I think some guys don't care if girls have boyfriends, they'd still try and flirt (or vice versa).

[theStig]

I think you could have NOT danced with him.

 

The fact is almost all the guys at the clubs are there to pick up chicks. And girls are there to... not do that.

 

I could probably say more and get myself banned, so I won't bother.