Confused

[LovelyLust]

Hello readers I really need advise on this matter b\c its going to determine wheather or not we can move on to the next level.

 

 

I've been dating this guy for two months now and at first we really hit it off, we talked about any and everything he is so easy to get along with just really nice and seems to have a good head on his shoulders. So I thought. We started to hang out alot and last month he told me that he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i said nothing. That didn't bother him he said he just wanted me to know. I was beginning to think that this friendship was too good to be true b\c he is everything i want in a man. Im young but im ready to settle down and start a family, he wants the same. Im a single mom and he's a single dad and we have similar goals in life. I just knew that this would be great our girls get along well and so do we.

One wkend after we had spent the whole week together we made plans to go to dinner alone without the kids, he works second shift and i work first so we talk on and off thru the day. That particular Friday he didn't call as much and I thought well maybe he's really busy at work. 4pm I was leaving work so I decided to call him he acted as if everything was ok. 6pm it was time for him to get off but he didn't call again I thought he was busy. Time went by and before I knew it it was 10pm and late b\c he had to work the next day so I knew then the date was off. I tried calling and he didn't ans. He didn't call til the next afternoon. I was so sad b\c I was stood up and didn't know why. Later he told me that he was hanging with his friends and lost track of time. Lie! I went on b\c i thought that it was something that we could talk about and get over, but now this happens every other wkend and on the opposite wkends we're ok and during the wk. It happens on the wkends that he gets paid. It's really been hard on me b\c I don't want to seem as if Im demanding his time away from his friends. During the week he works and takes care of his daughter and never has time for hisself til the wkends he has extra cash to treat hisself. I was beginning to think that there was someone else besides his guy friends he wanted to spend time with since this happens so often. So i did a big NO NO and went thru his cell. I found msgs from a girl saying that she loved and missed him and didn't know why he was ignoring her. And another girl was asking if she could come over to have sex. I was hurt. I wanted to know what he replied ( wish I didn't bother) and to my surprise he told the girl that loved and missed him that he loved and missed her too. The time was off on the other girl's msg so im not sure what he replied to the sex offer. I didn't know what to do or say since i looked in his phone w\o his permission. I ended up telling him and he started lying saying he didn't tell her he loved her and when i showed him the text he said he only said it cause she did. He said she does alot for him so he jus wants to keep her happy but he really did love and want to be with me. I told him it was wrong to lead her on and use her b\c she babysits and gets his daughter when he has to work late ( I don't b\c certain days my daughter visits her dad and thats ME time for me ) if that was true and that i needed time away from him b\c he says the same things to me. He was trying to date her but she had alot of drama in her life so he backed off now she wants him and he's "moved on". He says that he wants to fix things with me but i told him we can only be friends for now and whatever happens jus happens. He said that he respects that and wants to do whatever I want to he just doesn't want me and my daughter to leave him and his daughter behind. I don't know what to do. b4 all the disapperances and the txt msgs we were fine. I don't know what to do. Help!!!

[Simply Sweet]

I have a good friend in a similar problem and it seems that she always ends up in these situations. It sounds to me as though he is just using you! If he can't make the time to spend with you, then he quite simply doesn't want to. It's all good for significant others to spend some alone time with their friends, but if that's all they want to do then they don't need or deserve a relationship. Get out of the relationship while you can and while he doesn't matter as much to you or your daughter!!

[LovelyLust]

You're right. I certainly don't want my daughter to get attached to this man and his daughter b\c im sure it would break her heart to have the friendship with his little girl snatched away b\c outside of school she doesn't have many friends she's the second youngest in my family.