He enjoys sex more than I do...does it matter?

[underthewater]

I've been with this guy for 3 months, we started to have sex about a months ago. I barely had sex before him. Now we have sex almost everytime we see eachother (one time during the week and then the whole weekend).

 

I think we are a good couple, a lot in common and plenty of fun, he is very attracted to me. He's very patient, gentle and understanding when it comes to sex, and he obviously enjoys it a lot when we do it. The thing is, I've never had an orgasm during sex and as much as I like the intimacy, I really can't feel the climax. I'm not saying that sex doesn't feel good/feels boring, it just doesn't feel THAT good. He's tried various ways to give me an orgasm, but so far it's yet to come.

 

My question is, does it matter, in the long term, that he enjoys sex more than I do? People are talking about sexual compatibility all the time, although it's not bothering me at the moment, I really don't know how it will affect my relationship in the future. I kind of think I may be with this guy for the long run so I really would like to know. Any ideas? Thanks!

[lostandhurt]

In a word YES it does matter.

There are plenty of women that do not orgasm at all no matter the partner. Many more can only orgasm by stimulating themselves either during or after sex. This may not be his skills, but just your ability to have an orgasm. If you have been able to in the past with other lovers then it could simply be that he doesn't hit the right buttons so to speak.

 

In the long run I think it might very well be a problem. He will know you are not enjoying it and then he will pull away and not want to.

It can take some time for a couple to really get into each other and figure out what works best. Don't give up and keep practicing. If you need to touch yourself while he is in you go ahead. If you need to help him pleasure you go ahead and tell him what you like and don't like. I am sure he wants to give you all the pleasure you give him. Guys are easy but women can take a little work to find the treasure.

 

Good luck

Lost

[FathomFear]

You seem rather ambivalent towards sex in general. Or at least that's the impression I get after reading your post. Would you say that is a true statement? If so, have you always been that way?

[underthewater]

^^Well I don't think so. Currently I'm really ok, content, feeling good about my relationship AND my sex life. I'm just not sure how it'll be in the long run.

 

I know some women never orgasm during sexual intercourse in their whole life, if I happen to be one of them, then I just am. It doesn't really bother me so far. Not sure if it bothers my bf though, I heard that guys sometimes see it as their "mission". I just want to know if women can have a happy relationship even they don't orgasm during sexual intercourse.

[lostandhurt]

Ladies........

 

You are right about the mission thing. I would wear myself out trying if I had to. For me it is all about her pleasure, not mine.

 

I think you will be able to have the big O soon with some fun and trail and error.

 

Lost

[babii doll]

I just want to know if women can have a happy relationship even they don't orgasm during sexual intercourse.

 

i dont Orgasm with intercourse and it doesnt bother me, like many other women.. but i still enjoy the act of intercourse and i get my orgasms with oral. as long as i get head im a happy camper lol. you can have a good relationship inspite of that, it doesnt effect us.

[Cardinal]

^^Well I don't think so. Currently I'm really ok, content, feeling good about my relationship AND my sex life. I'm just not sure how it'll be in the long run.

 

I know some women never orgasm during sexual intercourse in their whole life, if I happen to be one of them, then I just am. It doesn't really bother me so far. Not sure if it bothers my bf though, I heard that guys sometimes see it as their "mission". I just want to know if women can have a happy relationship even they don't orgasm during sexual intercourse.

 

Are you able to have manual gspot orgasms?

[dave_49]

practice on yourself until you reach orgasm. then tell boy-friend what you like .

[Rangafro]

Not sure if it bothers my bf though, I heard that guys sometimes see it as their "mission".

 

I think that's definitely the case for a lot of guys. I suppose they see it as a reflection upon themselves. However, as noble a cause as it is, at the end of the day each person's pleasure is their own responsibility. I have heard of cases like this before of women who can't orgasm and feel pressured or just embarrassed by their boyfriends who are trying too hard and it ends up making them more anxious and less able to enjoy themselves.