Deejmonster Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 What does this mean? I was casually dating a girl but we broke it off.. to make this really short I ended up almost sleeping with her roommate when i was drunk and she was drunk out of pure spite.. i understand that it was wrong.. but nothing happened and i ended up sleeping with the girl i was dating. Out of jealousy/anger.. her roommate snitched on me and now the girl i was dating wont talk to me.. we talked after it happened and we told each other that we couldnt date anymore but we could be friends. She said that she has been used a lot in the past and that she is already over it.. and she is not mad... but won't text/im/call me... What does this mean and what do i do? I like the girl and i was wrong for what i did.. she said that she liked me too... but now we wont be together because of this and some other things... but friendship is possible... now what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmmd Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 actions >>>>>>>> words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geekgirl4 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 A girl likes to think she is special, that you can't think of anybody else but her because in some way, she is special to you. The fact that you almost slept with her roommate means she's not that unique a person to you because you were ready to sleep with someone other than her.Its unfortunate that you missed your chance with her but I would count my losses and just stay friends with her. And not to be too freudian here, but why did you try to sleep with her roommate? I know we lose inhibitions when we drink, but when I'm drunk, all i can think about is the person I'm currently interested in. Perhaps your action of trying to sleep with the roommate just shows you aren't too crazy about that girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deejmonster Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 well geekgirl4.. she was talking to another man all night and her roommate admitted to liking me.. we were already on the rocks and i my intentions were strayed.. she ended up leaving the bar with the guy and i thought that she was trying to show me that im not hers in a way... but i didnt know what was gonna happen so i fed into the bs that her roommate was telling me.. if we ended up sleeping together it would be because her roommate liked me and needed a thrill and i was just being a backstabber... no feelings attached... i ended up sleeping with the girl i was interested in when i found out that the guy just dropped her off at her door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deejmonster Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 ^ im not proud of what i did at all either ^ i feel like crap and she told me that she is already over it and that we will never be in a relationship again.. not all because of this incident but that was the last straw.. i feel like i did get to her and she doesnt want me to know.. she is independent and doesnt want to admit that her being used gives me the power... when i dont want it.. i feel terrible and wrote her a long email.. and her anger came out a little bit in her response. She and I agreed to be friends and she said a friendship would be "legit" and that she isnt mad at me and that crap happens.. i still feel bad.. but i am waiting for her to talk to me.. because i have been annoying her recently with my apologies. So if she isnt mad.. but she wont talk to me.. is it because she really is mad and needs time to cool her heels? She did tell me that I am very nice and honest... and that this could have ended a lot worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella919 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 umm yes shes pissed.... what girl wouldn't be.... flip the situation. what if she almost slept with your roommate or close friend? would you not be pissed? she just doesnt want to deal with you right now and by saying u can be friends get you off her back and she doesnt have to have the conversation of why shes mad. leave her alone. when shes ready to be friends and talk she will come around. dont smother her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geekgirl4 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 Ah, that makes more sense now. I think you guys just aren't compatible in terms of communication - playing games with each other is quite a no no. If you are sincerely interested in each other and have a healthy mindset, then there should be no need to play games. If one or the both of you have emotional baggage and feel the need to try out games, then it won't work out very well (unless you communicate). : ( Just chalk it up to being incompatible and try to be more straight and less game playing the next time you meet a girl you like. If she isn't going to be straight with you and flirt with other guys, drop her and find someone who will be sincere in what they feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deejmonster Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 But she is a nice person and I do like her... so what should i do in terms of her not talking to me? ... do these cases usually show that she will come around eventually? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geekgirl4 Posted May 12, 2010 Share Posted May 12, 2010 You'll have to be on your best behavior and not play games, but yes its possible. But I think you two should both talk about not playing games when that time comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deejmonster Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 Its clear that she doesnt want to be with me.. she told me that.. but we were gonna hit the rocks eventually anyways.. i just dont want to lose her as a friend but i understand that she is mad.. im afraid she wont talk to me again... she seemed upset when we last talked and told me that this could be a lot worse and i should consider myself lucky... but Im doing NIC for now... I just feel bad.. i was really dumb to do that to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 It's up to her what she will do. No matter how much you want to be her friend, if she doesn't want to, she won't be. If she isn't talking to you, then stay in NC and get used to the idea that she won't talk to you ever again or that if she sees you at school, she might briefly say hi to be polite. She probably doesn't trust you, even for friendship, and may not like you as a person. Just because she is over what you did doesn't mean she is ok with YOU. There is a difference. In short, it really doesn't matter what you want. You have made your intentions known and now the ball's in her court. Let her decide. So far she couldn't care less for you. Assume it will stay that way and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deejmonster Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 When we talked a few days ago. Friendship was mentioned. She told me that she didn't have a problem with being friends and that it would be "legit" which is her code good word for something being good. I know that she will talk to me again.. its just when... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citlali Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Whenever she well wants to. Stop obsessing over this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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