Sanesoul Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 I decided to start this journal because I am starting my second attempt at sobriety, and I need to have a place to vent when it gets tough. This journal may not be all about sobriety, but it's main focus is letting go of the numbness of an alcohol-induced mind and all the pain that will come pouring out. I am on Day 2. Wish me luck... Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 12, 2010 Author Share Posted May 12, 2010 Day 3 sober. I didn't even have that bad a night last night. I'm just exhausted now. I quit drinking rockstars as well because I need to be exhausted at the end of the day, so I can take my ambien and not want a beer. I used rockstars to keep my ass awake during the day. Now that I don't have them, I'm in a bit of a fog. It will take some time to adjust. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 Day 4 sober. I am feeling better and better by the day. Last night was a late night with the daughter, so I fell into bed exhausted. No need for the ambien! I'm trying to stay away from meds as much as possible. Normally, I can never fall asleep without help because of the anxiety I have. Nighttime is a breeding ground for worry, pain and fear. If I keep myself exhausted at the end of the day, I seem to be ok. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 14, 2010 Author Share Posted May 14, 2010 Day 5. Each day is getting better. I'm able to fall asleep without the ambien, and feel good during the day. I'm very happy with myself. I am still battling anxiety, and that is my next challenge. If I can get my anxiety under control, everything else will be (as my daughter says) easy-peesy, lemon-squeezy. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 14, 2010 Share Posted May 14, 2010 I'm sorry I don't know of you want people to post on your journal or not, but I just wanted to say congratulations on making it to day 5. Hopefully time passes byt quickly for you, and stay strong I know you can do this. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 I'm sorry I don't know of you want people to post on your journal or not, but I just wanted to say congratulations on making it to day 5. Hopefully time passes byt quickly for you, and stay strong I know you can do this. You can post whatever you like, and thank you for the encouragement. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 I wasn't good this weekend. I slipped on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I feel like a terrible person. I have decided that I need to get into AA. Luckily there are many meetings during the week, and they are at night, so I can attend. I can't do this alone. I wish I had more willpower. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 I wasn't good this weekend. I slipped on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I feel like a terrible person. I have decided that I need to get into AA. Luckily there are many meetings during the week, and they are at night, so I can attend. I can't do this alone. I wish I had more willpower. You did good sweetie. You proved to yourself that you could go almost a week so you know it can be done. So you start over again and if you have the help of AA, even better. Pretty soon those numbers will go from 5 to 55 to 555. Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 You did good sweetie. You proved to yourself that you could go almost a week so you know it can be done. So you start over again and if you have the help of AA, even better. Pretty soon those numbers will go from 5 to 55 to 555. Thanks Metro. I will never give up...I can't give up. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 17, 2010 Share Posted May 17, 2010 Thanks Metro. I will never give up...I can't give up. I agree with Metro, what you accomplished proves it can be done. I am really glad that you have the will power to keep going and it makes me very to see you are considering AA. I am sure they would be able to provide you with a lot of help, and also it would be helpful because they are people like you who understand what you are going through. I don't think you failed! I would only think that if you decided to stay down and as I can see you have decided to fight! I think success is measured by the amount of times we pick ourselves up NOT by the amount of times we fall. Good luck and thanks for letting me post on your journal. How is your day going by the way? Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 17, 2010 Author Share Posted May 17, 2010 I agree with Metro, what you accomplished proves it can be done. I am really glad that you have the will power to keep going and it makes me very to see you are considering AA. I am sure they would be able to provide you with a lot of help, and also it would be helpful because they are people like you who understand what you are going through. I don't think you failed! I would only think that if you decided to stay down and as I can see you have decided to fight! I think success is measured by the amount of times we pick ourselves up NOT by the amount of times we fall. Good luck and thanks for letting me post on your journal. How is your day going by the way? This is awesome Lunarstar, thank you. My day is going very well actually. I am committed to not drinking today. I think I will do much better if I take every day I don't drink a beer as a mini victory. It will put my mind in a better place. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 This is awesome Lunarstar, thank you. My day is going very well actually. I am committed to not drinking today. I think I will do much better if I take every day I don't drink a beer as a mini victory. It will put my mind in a better place. There you go! You have got it! Small challenges first, we all have to take baby steps and that is how we get places! I am looking forward to tomorrows post when you went today without it. Have you looked into the AA thing already? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Insane, you have a whole wide world of friends right here that support you and want the very best for you. Lunarstar is right about what she said, baby steps. While I don't quite understand the addiction of alchohol personally, I do see how that addiction takes over a person. You are showing so much strength already, you can do this. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Yay! Insane heart you can do this! Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Thank you both so much. Your encouragement means the world to me! Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Thank you both so much. Your encouragement means the world to me! Not a problem, my grandfather had this issue for many years and he finally cleaned up. I saw what my family's encouragement did for him and if I can help anyone with this I am there all the way. I am just glad I came accross your journal. I know how nice it can be to have someone there for you just to help when you feel like you have fallen. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 image removed Just wanted to drop in and say I hope you have another great successful day! Each day is another victory! Yay Insane heart Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Thank you Lunar! I had a good night last night with no urges. Here's to hoping that today ends up the same way. I know I can do this, I just have to be strong. I will be going to an AA meeting later this week, and the hubby is going with me, so it should be good. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Thank you Lunar! I had a good night last night with no urges. Here's to hoping that today ends up the same way. I know I can do this, I just have to be strong. I will be going to an AA meeting later this week, and the hubby is going with me, so it should be good. How wonderful.....Will his being there help you with the anxiety that you were feeling about going? Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 How wonderful.....Will his being there help you with the anxiety that you were feeling about going? Absolutely. He is always my rock. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Insane, I am so glad you had a good night last night. This makes me very happy for you! You see baby steps. You conquered last night, and I am sure you will conquer today as well. Pretty soon you will be able to look back and see how well you are doing. I am so glad you have your husband to come with you, and I am super happy you will be going to your first meeting. How is your day going so far by the way? Link to comment
Sanesoul Posted May 19, 2010 Author Share Posted May 19, 2010 My day yesterday went very well actually. No urges, again. I've been really exhausted at night, and able to fall into bed. I hope the tiredness does ease up a bit over time. The past two nights I've dosed off on the couch and my daughter has had to wake me up. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted May 19, 2010 Share Posted May 19, 2010 ^^ Hello Insane heart: I am sorry to hear about your fatigue but I am glad you are sleeping and that you have not had any urges. I am so proud of you for you. You see I told you...you have victories! Yay insane heart I know you can do this I hope you have an amazing day and I look forward to sharing another victory with you. Link to comment
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