Mary79 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 The other day I posted that the guy I'm currently talking to/seeing found out a few wks ago that his ex is pg and it might be his or the guy she's currently with. He also is out of work struggling to find a new job so he's pretty stressed. He said that he has alot on his mind & he needs to figure out his life so he needs some space right now. Coming out of a bad relationship I can be the most negative person/thinker I know. I am always on my toes & constantly thinking bad things are going to happen. With that being said I'm already starting to sabotage this (whatever you wanna call it bc we're not officially bf/gf it's just the beginning). I have known him for a few yrs now but this is the first time that I've actually taken it a little more serious however now that he found out his ex is pg his life is in his words "turned upside down". The thing that is bothering me the most besides the unknown and not knowing if it is his child what he's going to do with me more or less bc I think that's in the back of his mind, but also the fact that lately he's been adding females of all ages on his myspace page. Yesterday I went off on him bc I was so upset about it. but I know doing that is just going to make things worse. He says so what it's just myspace and some ppl request him or he might request them but it's not that serious. He told me lastnight and today bc I've been frantic about this stupid adding of these females that he's not talking to anyone else right now and he's not trying to..he keeps saying that he just needs his space. I guess I just think he's too old to really be going hard on myspace. Like instead of going on it his should look for a job but I can't tell him what to do. I'm just a little nervous and paranoid (which is the worst to show someone else bc then they sometimes see you as being very insecure which is not good at all this I know), bc I really do like him alot. I told him that I miss him, talking to him, texting him seeing him etc. bc basically he just wants me to really give him his space bc I was blowing up his phone the other day and his text messages so he was saying that he doesn't want it to get to the point where he treats me foul to the point I think he's mean person. So I'm not trying to bring that out & at the same time I really don't want him to think I'm crazy. It's got to the point that the other day I was texting him every few minutes today he said that he was so mad that he was thinking about changing his number I apologized for od'ing I told him that I'm just frustrated with this whole stupid myspace thing. Which is probably the least of the problems in the big picture. This whole situation is hard bc although he says that he likes me and all this it's upsetting to see him adding alot of females to his page. I know we are not official at this time so technically I shouldn't go nuts over it..it just bothers me. Now that he knows it does I feel like maybe he's gonna go even harder at doing it to see if maybe I say anything. He said that sometimes he knows most of the ppl he's adding bc they're from around his way but I'm sure there's quite a handful that he may not know. He said that alot of them are alot younger than him & he doesn't go there bc he doesn't need more stress in his life right now. I just feel confused, a little stressed & hurt about the pregnancy also. I've never been in a situation like this before & as far as giving time it makes me nervous bc it's fear of the unknown pretty much. I just feel like in this time/space that he needs is he looking to hook up/meet other girls hence the myspace. He said no that I got everything all wrong so I have to just fall back I guess..but it is very hard bc I really do want to be with him. He knows how I feel about him, he just has alot to figure out. But when I look at his pages & check them I guess that's what eggs me on to text him & he just doesn't even wanna hear from me right now. He said that I'm pushing him further away by my actions. I know I have major trust issues & that's where alot of this stems from, I caught my ex so many times on myspace hitting up females saying that he was single so I just really don't trust all these stupid networking sites. But in the big picture I'm more worried about his ex & this kid being his. Yesterday he was talking a little bit about her & said sometimes she could be dramatic but now he considers her a mute compared to me. I'm just a nice caring person who doesn't want to get hurt. It's hard to trust but it's a risk you have to take. I am just confused about alot of things. I also looked out for him a few wks ago & got him an AC I didn't pay for it bc of someone I know who works in the store & he was really greatful bc his broke. So that may also be why this space bothers me too. I saw his ex's fb page after he told me her name yesterday & she looks like a sweet girl who has her life together. I just feel so sad like I wish this wasn't happening I know I have to handle this in a mature way I just never had to deal with something like this before & I feel like if I'm such a good person how come I always get the short end of the stick. Hopefully everything will be okay soon enough. In the meantime I don't wanna be waiting for someone for that long so maybe if I give it maximum a month & then see what happens. If anyone has any words pls feel free to drop me a line. Link to comment
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