He said he needs time to himself

[Mary79]

The guy I've been seeing told me a few days after my bday that his ex is pg & there's a possibility it could be his or someone elses. After he found out this news he started acting different bc he obviously has alot on his mind.

 

The only advice I really gave him was to not over stress himself & that all he can really do is wait to find out. I know he's still stressed & I haven't seen him as much bc I think he needs to get himself together and figure things out. He told me he just wants me to give him some space so he can get his thoughts together bc he doesn't know where he's headed he just got laid off & he does have alot on his plate. I feel like since he told me to give him space I've been texting him/calling him more to the point that now he won't reply or call back right away like he's tired of me.

 

I saw him lastnight & he told me again to just give him space for himself that he just needs time. I asked him if I was supposed to wait around for him to figure things out & he said that he wasn't saying he didn't wanna be with me just that he needs time. I am confused I like him alot & now when I see him posting stuff on his fb page or myspace adding friends I get all pARanoid. The other day one of his stupid female friends posted something on his fb age that she was mad at him bc he walked past her he looked her dead in the face & didn't say one word to her bc he was with another girl. I lost it & he said that he sent her a message screaming at her bc she's full of it bc she's normally a loud person like if he really did do that she wouldve said something on the spot bc she's loud like that. He said they hadn't spoken since that day & he erased her post. But I am not sure. He swore that he's not with her or anyone else but coming from messed up past relationships I have a terrible time trusting anyone. Then today he posted something to say happy mothers day and the same friend posted "thank you xoxo" & another one posted "thanx babes" & it made me have pains in my stomach maybe I'm overreacting I just get nervous bc he wants space & part of me is wondering if he's making space for someone else. I texted him earlier asking him if he wanted to hangout tonight & he replied "idk maybe". I Am confused right now & a little nervous. I do like him alot I just don't wanna mess up something before it even starts.

[Maya_A]

I do like him alot I just don't wanna mess up something before it even starts.

 

You could be on your way to doing so, if you don't alter some behaviors, such as:

 

I feel like since he told me to give him space I've been texting him/calling him more to the point that now he won't reply or call back right away like he's tired of me.

 

If he asked for space, why are you not giving it to him, and in fact, contacting him more? Give him that space he asked for.

 

I asked him if I was supposed to wait around for him to figure things out & he said that he wasn't saying he didn't wanna be with me just that he needs time.

 

You asked & got your answer - a fair & positive answer. Go with that.

 

Also, quit checking his every move online & making assumptions & over-analyzing things....

 

Try to heal your insecurities during the time he is taking.

 

Usually when someone says they need space it isn't good, but in your bf's case his reasons are legit (is his ex's baby his & just getting laid off) & truly can have zero to do with his feelings in liking you.

 

So whether or not you "mess this up" on your end, is totally up to you... You are in 100% control of that.

 

Not saying that taking a step back is easy, but lean on supportive friends a little & again, work on your own self... You can use the time in a valuable way instead of in a fearful, obsessing, just "waiting it out" manner....

 

Best of luck...

[annie24]

yeah, i think that since he asked for space, you need to give it to him. back off 200%. that means no more calling or texting him or checking his facebook. he could be confused if his ex is pregnant (that would mean that they've had sex in the last few months!) or he could be dating someone else. in any case, he's told you he wants you to back off, so you should give him 5x the space he is asking for. he can contact you if he wants to date again. i think you should start dating other men now.