want my ex back!

[shelby]

hi, i was in a longdistance relationship 2 years, and we broke off 6 months ago and we've spoken very rarely during that time, but she was constantly on my mind and I still love her. we broke off for the wrong reasons and i want her back. We got together last week and it was great, we were hugging and kissing but she was still being very cautious and being careful expressing her feeling, cause she doesn't want to get hurt again but she did say she missed me. It was really fustrating, during that time we were apart I wasn't interested in anybody ,she did have a short relationship and they almost went all the way the only reason they didn't was because he couldn't perform! there not seeing eachother anymore because she said he treated her like *beep* and all he wanted was one thing! At this point it bother me that she had another encounter i probably shouldn't hold that against her that would be selfish on my part, but it doesn't make me feel less for her but it is hard to get it off my mind. I'm trying everything i can to win her back, I'm doing most of the calling and sending her letters and flowers, but she still being carefull she wants to take things slow she wants to gain that trust back in me, i hope she will come around or is it to late? i'm doing everything i can or am I just fooling myself? should I continue persuing her calling and calling or should give her time and space to think about it? Or is it a mind game? I'm willing to relocate to be with her, But I want her to feel the same way for me! should i continue fighting for her? or play it cool? what strategy should i use?

[AB38]

You have already set the hook...now it's time to sit back and let time take its course. Let her digest your interest level.

 

You will know when its time to take the next step. Women, as I have learned, are very intuitive. Too much pressure will make her run in the other direction. She knows you want her back.

 

Trust takes time. Take small steps and eventually you will regain your place in her heart. That's awesome that you are willing to relocate, but be sure of your feelings before you make that kind of decision. Take time to understand why you broke up in the first place and learn from it.

 

Hope that helps some.

[shelby]

thank you for that great advice, she supposed to call tonight but i'm not sure if she'll really do so. this whole situation is occupying my mind!

[AB38]

You are quite welcome. And welcome by the way.

 

Do not drive yourself crazy waiting for her to call. Keep the mindset that she does still care for you and have confidence in that. If she does not call, don't panic! Do not call her and ask her why she didn't call. She will interpret that as being chased.

 

She will call you, but please don't wait by the phone. I'm not trying to be condescending, I have been in a similar situation and I chased a girl off that way. Wait a few days, and if she hasn't called, call her and just be happy to talk to her.

[shelby]

should I be concerned with the relationship she had while we were apart. it lasted for a short time.it does bother me a little but should it ? she said it was a mistake and he didn't treat her right. all he wanted was one thing from her and I think he dumped her. I hope he is out of the picture for good. should that be an issue. sometimes my thinking is that she got dumped by him, so she'll settle for me or is that a bad way of thinking?

[AB38]

Don't even think about her past relationship. You have no control over it. You will come out like a hero if you never bring it up. Don't be jealous, don't be understanding. Any reaction by you and she will know that you have been thinking about it, and that in her mind is a big turn off. She needs to see that you have been living your life without her and are now ready to reunite. Make sense?

 

Sounds like you need to re-establish a friendship first before diving back in to a relationship with her. She will appreciate that, trust me.

[Mix Maxster]

and is it bothering you because YOU DIDN'T do anything??? or because you're worried that she might want to go back to him... because why or what specifically bugs you about it?? Can you figure that one out... because I'll tell you one thing, she is allowed to do that sort of thing and you can never hold that against her. Only when you two are a couple can you really use it against or call her on it, nto when you two have broken up. It's not so simple as that as you'll always wonder, but it's better left UNKNOWN. That's the mature approach.