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Is This Abnormal?

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My g/f and I have been together for 2 years. We're both 21 right now.


I am saving money to buy a house currently and want one within the next 3 years. Is it abnormal to move in to this house in 3 years then get married, as opposed to getting an apartment then marriage (given everything is fine with moving in)?


It just seems like getting an apartment is a) a waste of money b) you do not own any property c) are not working towards owning anything. That's why I'd rather save for a down payment....


I'll tell you - you all have been very helpful these past 2 years. Thanks ENAers


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renting is essentially throwing your money down a black hole. if you have another place to live to avoid this expense, and you're happy to do so - good job.


re: living together before marriage, personally i think it's a good idea (learn all those little things to see if you CAN live together before you're married, makes sense) but others will have different opinions. i like to think of it as try before you buy ;-)


good on you for saving to buy your own place. the deposits and fees are huge.

Good luck

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the only think abnormal is how you can afford a house in this economy!

lol Just joking around!

i think its a great step forward!

honestly, especialy if you plan on getting married!

its like taking a step forward to see if thats what you want, and to build your relationship in many aspects.

also not only are you building your relationship but also your own future.


wish you the best.

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I think it would be a great idea to own rather than rent. Would you buy together or would you be the only one saving and paying for the mortgage?


ooh yes, very important question.


when i saved for a deposit for our home i made it clear that it was MY home and she could live there with me until we were married, then we'd remortgage in both our names and it would become our home. I also had her sign a deed of trust (which we went to a solicitors for), basically saying that although she'll contribute to the bills and stuff, she's not entitled to anything if we break-up before getting married.


Took a lot of convincing to get her to sign that, but I wasn't about to risk £50,000+ of my hard earnt savings in case we broke up. if that happened she could have claimed half the property as compensation, which would have probably been upheld by the courts as a civil partnership/marriage (as we've lived together for almost three years), and i'd have lost at least £25k to her. Not cool. She understood eventually, but was not happy about it.


Anyway, you need to consider these things, I know it's not nice to think about, but nobody plans to break up. Sometimes it just happens - this is like a prenup, it's just insurance...... in the same way you never intend to be burgled, if you are at least you have something to fall back on.


Just some ideas.

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I don't think it's weird or abnormal, and it's great that you are planning ahead.


The one thing I disagree with is that renting is just a waste of money or throwing money away. It's true that you don't gain any property equity by renting, and it may feel like you might as well be paying down a mortgage. However, buying a house doesn't always make sense - if you don't have enough money to put down a big down payment, if you don't intend to live in the area for a long time (at least 7 or 10 years, really, unless you work for a company that will guarantee your tax assessment property value if you have to move right away), or if the mortgage is a stretch, financially, since houses have a lot of hidden costs apart from just the mortgage!


I personally also value the experience of living out of my parents' home, alone (or with a roommate) enough that it would be worth it to me to pay rent so that I could live independently (if I could afford it and not starve, of course) even if it meant that I could not save for my own house quite as fast. The experience would be worth the rent money to me, and more! I know that's not the same for everyone.


Completely agree with what d24 said about ironing out the details of the the "agreement" before you move in - and if she will be paying "rent" but not be gaining any equity in the house, then you will have to work out a fair price and a fair way of divvying up bills , since she should then not contribute to any home maintenance or repair or "property investment" bills.

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My husband bought his first house when he was 18. He worked three jobs, managed bands as well, and had two other guys go in with him to buy the house; then he bought them out as his income increased. That house was about $20,000 in the mid '70s. Our next house was $200,000, sold it for $300,000 in 8 years. Then bought one for $355,000, about 30 years after the first one.


Also, my favorite show on TV is called Income Property, on HGTV. The guy helps people renovate their basement to be a rental unit. Sometimes, they rent it out for as much as the entire house payment. One time, he advised them to renovate the basement, move into it, and rent out the house, which would have paid off their house in 8 years, as opposed to 25 (they didn't do it).

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