Why hasn't he asked me out?

[kdj]

Okay, here's the story. Im 17 and he's 18, just to start.

We go to school together, but we started talking online a lot about a few weeks ago, shortly after me and my boyfriend broke up - which he was fully aware of, as he actually works with my ex.

Now, almost every day he still starts a conversation with me online, and he is somewhat flirty, and always joking a lot (tho sometimes he takes a long time to reply). I get the impression he likes me, but the odd time he does see me in person, like in the one class we have together, he doesn't go out of his way to get near me, even as we're walking out.

I think he's pretty shy, and he does seem kind of nervous the few times we have talked in person. I can't imagine that he just really likes to talk me online constantly, if he wasn't looking for something more. We have a lot in common, and I've tried to be flirty too, but he still hasnt even mentioned wanting to date me, or liking me. He's knows Im single, and I know for sure he is too.

Some reasons I've considered are:

- Because he works with my ex, he is hesitant to date me (theyre not close tho)

- He's really shy and just doesn't know anything about this stuff

- He's thinks it would be taboo to not wait longer after Ive just gotten out of a relationship

- He likes the thought of being with me, but when it comes right down to it he doesnt want a girlfriend

- He wants to wait and talk for a while longer before taking any steps

- He doesnt realise I like him and is afraid of getting rejected

Any other reasons anyone has are appreciated!!

I'm really at a loss here, but I have really good intuitions, and they're saying he likes me. I just don't know why he hasnt asked me out. Advice anyone?

 

ps: I know some ppl might say, why dont you ask him out? But I really cant do it, then I'd just have the added worry that he'd only say yes out of obligation or whatever, and I just dont need to worry about that too.

Also, we dont have any common friends, so I cant really get any of them to find out, haha.

[hexaemeron]

And you don't think a guy worries about that when he asks someone out? If there's something you want, go get it. That's like you starving to death, and saying "WHY IS THERE NO FOOD" when there's a beautiful plate of food sitting right next to you. But since no one's dropping the morsels in your mouth, you're starving to death.

 

That's silly. Ask him out.

[AJEDrew7]

Reading your story, I think he's shy and also afraid of the rejection. Talking online is completely different than talking to someone in person. Even though you talk a lot online, it may not mean to him that you like him. He might be scared that you just think of him as a friend (unless you've made it obvious otherwise either in person or online). You could of course ask him out, but if you want him to ask you out and get over the shyness he's feeling try and be more straight forward showing your interest and being more flirtacious. It'll help him feel more confident when it comes to asking you out.

[Greggie]

He's shy. Maybe you need to make it more obvious that you like him and WANT him to ask you out. Hell, spell it out if you have to! Boys are S L O W...

[cupcakes122]

agree with greggie. shy guys take the longest time to warm up to someone they like. i'm going after one right now, around everyone else hes an outgoing spazz, but around me, hes a shy fidgety nervous wreck. so i flirt heavily with him, and get him involved in my life, tell him things about me, and hes slowly opening up and he tells me about him. shy boys take time. so start talking to him, and find common ground, and just give it time. =)

 

All boys are scared of rejection. i think its cute. but maybe if you suggest to do something, it may take the pressure off him. not like a date. but just hang out. catch a movie, the beach, or a hike. then drop hints of places you like to eat, and suggest to go there sometime.

[kdj]

Thanks guys, this is all really helpful (and pretty much the answers I was hoping for). He definitely does seem like the shy type in person, but Im not sure.

I still feel like it also may be that he doesn't like me, cause one time he even knew exactly where I was going to be, selling ice-cream for a fundraiser in our school cafeteria, and he'd said online that he'd try to drop by, but he never came. I always hear that when a guy likes a girl, he's goes out of his way to end up near her, just so she'll notice him, or even stare at her when shes around, which he doesnt do. And sometimes online, he'll be unresponsive for a very long time (like 30 minutes even a couple times, or more). but it is almost always him starting the convo.

I dunno, I guess I'm just confused cause nothing seems to really add up. Of course it could though, but Im a girl so maybe I just dont see how it can.

[kdj]

anymore thoughts on this one? :S