Kinetics Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 So I met a study partner in my college few weeks ago, and I thought that the intention was to study together but whenever we meet, we haven't been studying at all. She always makes it a point we meet again and decide on a particular date, we've paid each others dinner or coffee, she's given me a gift by surprise...and now I've confirmed that she doesn't have a boyfriend. We spend the entire day and we don't run out of things to talk about, we enjoy each others company. Last night, it became a bit tense...there was this awkward silence once in a while, then we start talking again. Is that like a cue that I should be telling her how I feel? I don't know, it just seems a bit too serious to suddenly just get into this kind of talk...I would prefer to tell her in a more relaxed situation or when the mood is right. I told her I wanted to see her again tomorrow, which is very soon than usual...we usually meet once a week. I feel I should tell her tomorrow! I can't stand another day where we'd have this awkward silence again. If the awkward silence occurs again, should I just tell her even if it isn't exactly the right mood so to speak? Link to comment
Kinetics Posted May 2, 2010 Author Share Posted May 2, 2010 I originally posted this on a different category, but I didn't get much answer so I decided to put it here. And that's the thing, every time we meet, it feels like a date. We don't flirt too much. She doesn't like to drink so it's difficult to create a more relaxed atmosphere, she seems like a pretty serious person. We talk about our thoughts on relationships and marriages at times. I don't know...if she just wants to be friends, I dont know why it's always just the two of us, and why she wants to meet every week. It's hard to believe she'd invest this much time just to be friends. I guess another problem is, English is her second language so sometimes we misunderstand each other in a conversation and I'm afraid that that is exactly what it is...that there is some kind of misunderstanding. I think the only way to find out is to tell her and see what her reaction is... Link to comment
Car Chick Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Do you like her or not? I don't know what you're feelings are, but it's obvious she doesn't want to study. You should really get this out of the way and tell her how you feel. Link to comment
Kinetics Posted May 2, 2010 Author Share Posted May 2, 2010 Yes, I do like her, and like spending time with her a lot. She was originally introduced to me by another girl study partner, and my first impression of going out with her was more like a date than anything, and that threw me off. Maybe I take the studying thing too seriously. Her mother tongue is Spanish, and I'm studying Spanish. But it's not like she's coaching me, we just talk and she seems to enjoy talking with me even with my broken Spanish I just hope its not a big misunderstanding. I like where we are now and take it slower, but I also don't want her to keep her waiting if she really feels the same way about me. Because relationships these days feel like time is the essence, no one wants to wait around. Link to comment
easyguy Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I think that if she is dropping marriage bombs so soon, then you are most likely a friend. If you have not kissed after several dates, then you may just be a friend to her, at least right now. The last girl I dated - we kissed on the first date. The girl I'm dating now - we kissed on the 2nd... or maybe 3rd date. No, 2nd. A kiss makes it quite clear that there is mutual attraction. Otherwise, there is just guessing. Link to comment
easyguy Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Again, I'm not saying that you should STOP pursuing her, but if you wait too long to make a move, then you may be categorized as a friend. Link to comment
Shidoshi Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Whatever move you make, please don't "tell" her how you feel. Start flirting with her and "show" her, don't spill your guts about feelings it's never a good idea for a guy to do that. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 I would not recommend that you "tell her how you feel" either. I've been in that situation, and even if you both like each other it ends up being incredibly awkward. Like "where do we go from here?" It's hard for me to tell if she is interested or not. I think you should ask her on a real date - without the pretense of "studying together" - as in, "Can I take you out to dinner on Xday?" To me that sends a VERY clear message that you are romantically interested in her, so she has all the information and can either let you down or hopefully show you that she is interested too. If she accepts the date, flirt with her and if it goes well then make a move! Link to comment
Kinetics Posted May 3, 2010 Author Share Posted May 3, 2010 I have never directly talked about 'how I feel' when it comes to dating, I completely agree that it makes it more awkward. But I've had different ways of saying things to move the dating relationship forward. Today we went shopping and I flirted with her, I held her from time to time, she didn't seem to mind. I gave her a hug when we parted ways, and that was the best I could do. I don't know, I'd have wanted her to hold (or brush off) my hand in response, just so I know if she likes (or dislikes) me. Gah...I don't know what's in her mind. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.