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how can you stop loving someone


yellowjello

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Sure romantic feelings are fickle. They come and go like the wind. But not love..

Do people stop loving their close friends and family because they just "don't feel the same anymore"? No! When people don't feel the same in a relationship, what are they referring to? What changed? What went away? Those romantic feelings went away. That feeling you get in your stomach, the excitement, etc. But love is more than that. It's caring about someone. Just because romantic feelings go away, caring doesn't...

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why doesn't it fade with close friends and family then?

 

It sure can. You might think love is permanent, but I don't believe that's the case. When someone betrays you, hurts others or just screws up it's possible to lose that feeling. Sometimes it takes too much effort to care for a self-destructive person.

Lots of things can end it.

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Yeah that's what I thought too. The only way you can just stop loving/caring about someone is if they did something really bad that overrides that love you have for them. Then you feel like they're such a bad person and they don't deserve it anymore.

 

But for someone that has never done anything bad to you, and has always been there for you. You can't just stop caring about them...

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Sure romantic feelings are fickle. They come and go like the wind. But not love..

Do people stop loving their close friends and family because they just "don't feel the same anymore"? No! When people don't feel the same in a relationship, what are they referring to? What changed? What went away? Those romantic feelings went away. That feeling you get in your stomach, the excitement, etc. But love is more than that. It's caring about someone. Just because romantic feelings go away, caring doesn't...

 

Things can happen sometime that may cause one to fall out of love.

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But for someone that has never done anything bad to you, and has always been there for you. You can't just stop caring about them...

 

What if they simply exhaust you? Some people are so needy they suck the life out of you. What if you grow apart over time, and just aren't into goth dwarf-tossing festivals like your obsessed partner? We all change with time and need different things.

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Sometimes it takes too much effort to care for a self-destructive person.

 

I agree. I've known a few self-destructive people in my time.

 

In the end, it feels like a one-way friendship/romance/whatever. You feel like they only want you as their personal therapist and NOT because they care for you. This chips away at your self-esteem - it did mine anyway. So better for these people to not be in my life, even if I did care for them deeply.

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I agree. I've known a few self-destructive people in my time.

 

In the end, it feels like a one-way friendship/romance/whatever. You feel like they only want you as their personal therapist and NOT because they care for you. This chips away at your self-esteem - it did mine anyway. So better for these people to not be in my life, even if I did care for them deeply.

 

 

I think this is how my ex of 14 years felt in the end. She didn't feel I wanted her or loved her and it lowered her self esteem and the new guy she cheeted with boosted it. I do know it was mostly my fault but this guy never should have pursuded then seduced a married woman. My wife should have communicated her frustration instead of bottling it up until it was too late.

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What if they simply exhaust you? Some people are so needy they suck the life out of you. What if you grow apart over time, and just aren't into goth dwarf-tossing festivals like your obsessed partner? We all change with time and need different things.

 

Yeah that's true. But I feel like that's more of interest/romantic feelings fading. It wouldn't make caring go.

 

I guess I'd make that analogous to your best friend who you grew up with. You were always there for each other and did everything together. Then you both went to different colleges and got your own lives. No one ditched the other person, and nothing hurtful was done on either side...you simply grew apart. In that situation you lost interest in the other person. But deep down you still care about them and you know you'll be there for them.

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